Hi,
I am a student at university and my boyfriend (now ex) lives about two hours away. We used to see each-other every weekend to begin with, with me going down to him one weekend and him coming up to see me the next. After Christmas, it somehow ended up me going down to see him every weekend, which I can't afford. That's when things started turning bad.
I told him how I felt that it was me making all the effort and he agreed to come up to me every other weekend again, but the first weekend he was meant to come up he made an excuse not too, (his friends birthday, which was in fact the weekend before). I said that's okay as long as he comes up the weekend after, which would have been our two year anniversary and he said he couldn't because he had to go and play football. That's when I flipped, we had a full blown argument about how I felt under-appreciated and that I was the only one fighting to make the relationship work. He didn't get it, and kept getting all defensive and he tried to make me feel guilty!
He then said that he can't see our relationship lasting when I'm back at uni again in September and that's when I dumped him. I honestly thought he would beg for me back, and fight to see me and fight, well for me. But he didn't, and he has just accepted it and said "he's heartbroken" but that's all! Now I feel like all the effort I have made to keep us together was for nothing as he had/has no fight in him at all. And I feel so , I cry and I cry every-day, I have uni deadlines and exams coming up and I can't focus. Even when I try to keep myself busy I still end up checking my phone every hour to see if he has text me, but he never does. Now I am so lost, I have no idea what to do. He was my rock and now he is gone.
So my question is, how do I move on, how do I accept that the past 2 years of my life was for nothing, I have spoke to my friends and they have been helping but it's not the same as talking to him. I don't speak to my mum and my dads an alcoholic so I literally only have my friends for support. How do I stop this hurting?

The hurting will pass in time. My advice to you is to realize that relationships teach you about people. You learn about each other and yourself. Even in the worst relationships, you can always find something new, even if it means that you never want to see that person again. For now, do not let him ruin your education. Study for your tests. Make new friends. Join study groups and clubs. If you fail, you have given him the power to control your life, and that is a no-no in any relationship. Let us know how you are doing every day. We care!

Thanks, I know the pain will pass in time, but it couldn't have come at a worse time. I miss him and I want him to want me back, I'm scared he doesn't know that I still love him, and that I only did what I did for attention, but at the same time I feel like if he did love me he wouldn't have let us break up so easily and that if I tell him that I love him now, and he says he doesn't love me anymore, if I could deal with the rejection :(

I feel low, worhtless and like life is a waste of time. I need help

Basically I have been feeling depressed since Christmas. As soon as I am alone, (which is alot) I just want to cry or watch movies. I often think about all the heartbreak in the world, the wars, the criminals, the victims of abuse, everything bad in the life to the point that I wonder if life is worth all the hassle. Everybody on the planet goes through heartbreak, and I wonder what is the point if all good things come to an end, sometimes the end so violent that it's not worth the good. I'm not at the point of suicide but sometimes I just stay in my room (when I don't have lectures or work) all day, watching movies but not really paying attention, crying to myself. I'm at uni, I have friends and I go to social groups, and I have to try so hard to appear okay and happy, and sometimes I am happy, but rarely. Also sometimes I avoid social events, but this is only when I'm having a really low day. Am I depressed, do I need help, or is this just a part of my life that I'm going to have to learn to deal with?
Also I have been having relationship problems, but all this started before, and may be the cause for my relationship problems. I really do not know how to tackle my low feelings.

You tackle your low feelings by grabbing life by the b****lls and stop watching the gloom and doom on the TV. You have the best part of the world, you are going to university because you have a goal. Nuture that goal. We all go through this phase and just pull outselves out of it. Enjoy your friends in a social environment and then thank god for small favours.

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Originally Posted by mariecarol108

Thanks, i know the pain will pass in time, but it couldn't have come at a worse time. I miss him and i want him to want me back, i'm scared he doesn't know that i still love him, and that i only did what i did for attention, but at the same time i feel like if he did love me he wouldn't have let us break up so easily and that if i tell him that i love him now, and he says he doesn't love me anymore, if i could deal with the rejection :(

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Of course you miss him, but you need to give him some space. If it is meant to be, then you will find your lives together again. In the meantime, get good grades and enjoy your college years.

I am at uni and in a 2 year relationship too. I don't think that he loved you as much as you would like to think, if he would choose to play football over seeing you. I know that I would be very excited and would be looking forward to seeing my girlfriend and I would put that first as a priority, not just because my girlfriend and my relationship is important to me, but also because I am so deeply in LOVE with her. Also, he doesn't seem to be that bothered about you dumping him either. You should just keep yourself busy, especially when you are feeling down. Make sure that you don't keep on glancing at photos of him etc. Take his number off your phone, write it down on a piece of paper and hide it away in your room (just in case he decides to talk). After a few months, I think you will be feeling better.

Hi, I am stuck between two paths that my life can go down and I really don't know which one to take
Path one: get a job in cambridge (where I go to uni), dedicate my life to the city, stay on at uni (after my 3 year course, have 2 years left) and get a doctorate in health psychology.
Path two: Get a job back home and work there in the summer holidays, Christmas holidays etc. This is also where my boyfriend lives. Move back home after my 3 year course and try and find another uni closer to home to get my doctorate.

The problem with path one is that I'd miss my family, and would hardly ever get too see my boyfriend and I know I'd either dump him or he would dump me, we both have such busy lives. But on the other hand, me and my boyfriend have been having troubles recently, arguing all the time, but we have both agreed to work though it. We are going on holiday together in the summer, and I am back home for 4 months so we will see each-other a-lot.. . It's only when we're apart that we argue.
The problem with path two is that, although my family are back home, my dad is an alcoholic and the main reason I moved away was to be further away from him (he can be physically and mentally abusive). Also I do not enjoy being back home, the town is small and the only peace I find is on my own walking down the beach and through the woods. Although there is a good uni near, I fear I will feel that I gave up a life in the city that I love, for a boyfriend who I can't see myself with for much longer at this rate. But at the same time I can't bring myself to end it as he has helped me through so much and I really do love him, but if I live the life I want to live, I fear me and him won't last, he is very family orientated and I would never ask him to move away for me!
I don't have to decide on what path to take right now, I still have two years left in my degree, and who knows what will happen in those two years, but I still can't help thinking about the future.

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I fear I will feel that I gave up a life in the city that I love, for a boyfriend who I can't see myself with for much longer at this rate

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I think you already know your decision, this above post says it loud and clear.

Either way, we can't make this decision for you, the only thing we know about you is the very little bit you wrote in your post. This has to be your decision, and asking strangers to make it for you is not a wise choice.

Good luck.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...rn-750184.html

Are you and the ex back together, or is the guy in the above post someone new?

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Originally Posted by Alty

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...rn-750184.html

Are you and the ex back together, or is the guy in the above post someone new?

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No, we got back together, but now I just feel like I shouldn't have taken him back, but it was impossible not too, because what we had before I came to uni was amazing, and I feel like I just need to hold on a bit longer, just too see if things go back to normal. His nan just passed and I have exams so we are both stressed and have agreed to be easy on each-other for a while, and that has actually made us closer. I feel if I gave up now, it would be the easy way out and I know I would regret it!

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Originally Posted by mariecarol108

no, we got back together, but now i just feel like i shouldn't have taken him back, but it was impossible not too, because what we had before i came to uni was amazing, and i feel like i just need to hold on a bit longer, just too see if things go back to normal. His nan just passed and i have exams so we are both stressed and have agreed to be easy on each-other for a while, and that has actually made us closer. i feel if i gave up now, it would be the easy way out and i know i would regret it!

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Ultimately it's your choice. If you want to stay with him, no one can stop you. You have to decide.

Based on what you wrote in your threads, I'd dump him and move on, but it's not my decision. If you want to see this thing through until it ends bitterly, that's your right. But, I will say, I don't see this lasting. I don't think the two of you will end up together. I could be wrong, wouldn't be the first time, but that's my prediction.

Obviously you're not ready to give up yet, even though you make a very good argument to do so. I wonder when enough will be enough, when you'll finally realize that you're wasting your time with this guy? Will you ever will realize that?

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Warbo

You were a little selfish. You should ask him for forgiveness and try to get him back; but don't get mad at him when he wants to play football. It will probably make him imagine what would it be like giving up what he enjoys the most to be with you. A man needs an occupation.

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How was she selfish? For what should she ask for forgiveness? As for the football, sometimes men have to make small sacrifices to be with someone, especially with a long distance relationship. Also, I don't see where she said that playing football was his occupation. Hobby yes, but not his occupation.