My boyfriend/partner of 6 years just ended us tonight. While I had seen it coming for awhile (we've both been pretty unhappy with the other), I'm still pretty broken up over this.

My question is this - I've gone through the "surviving a breakup" stickies which I will read and re-read soon. The problem is, we live together, and until he finds an apartment, he'll be staying with me. Financially, he can't afford a hotel and then be able to pay rent later (he lives paycheck to paycheck). Emotionally, I don't know how I'm going to deal with seeing him daily (I also work with him) knowing that there is no longer a "we". The worst part is, he's acting kind to me again... possibly out of relief? But he's acting like the man I fell in love with. Not the man he has been for the last year or so.

How do I stay strong and endure? I don't know how long it will be before he goes, and while my head knows it's the right decision, my heart says no.

If you know it's the right decision , just get on with it and treat him like a flat mate and enjoy your life and font worry about his reactions to things you are now single to do as you please , be nice to him just change the way you view him , try not to think of him as your ex , just a friend and flat mate , hope you get through it .

"he's acting kind to me again...possibly out of relief?"

That's probably part of it. The other part could be that he knows him living there is not the greatest arrangement and he is being sensitive to that.

Breakup suck and not being able to have physical distance from him will be tough. Regardless of whether you think the decision is right or wrong, you don't have ultimate say in it because he gets a vote.

Most couples who are not 100% for the breakup only remember what they liked about the person after the breakup occurs. There were probably multiple factors that lead to this breakup. The best thing you could do (besides giving him the boot) is stay active. Call some girlfriends and go out. Take tennis lessons. Go to a movie. That will occupy your mind and since you will be out you won't be around him as much.

Thanks for the advice, guys.
As an update, it turns out that he doesn't want to actually break up, he just wants his own place. We've been together for 6 years and living together for 5 1/2, and in that time, he says he has grown to resent my lifestyle. I have pets, and he doesn't like animals. He also complains that I have "too much stuff" and there's no "free space" in the house (he gets claustraphobic). The problem is, there are 2 bedrooms in the house that can't be used for anything (e.g. storage) because they were turned into full time bedrooms... for his kids. Who only stay with us for 2 months of the year, and only about 28 days total during those 2 months (his ex lives with the kids in another country). Along with the issues he cited that he has with my pets and the house, he also has a lot of job stress and stress relating to his ex and kids. I believe he just got to the point of being overwhelmed, but rather than communicating with me and trying to come up with a solution together, he kept it all inside until he snapped.

The reason I said the breakup/separation is the right thing is because I know he hasn't been happy. Neither have I. Ideally, if we could work this out to the point of having a real relationship again, even living apart, I think I'd like that. When things are good with him, they're good. But when they're bad, it's horrid. I suspect a lot of the bad with us has to do with our current living arrangements.

Does living apart ever save relationships? Is it worth saving it?

My best friend told me this is for the best because I have been miserable for a long time. While I don't recall it being that long, or even ongoing, I know she has a better perspective on the situation than I do so I trust what she says. I also know I'm suffering from the "only remembering the good times" mentality, so I cannot fairly evaluate my relationship for myself.
How do I get perspective so I can focus on and understand the negatives so I can truly evaluate it for what is was, rather than what I've construed it to be?

Doesn't like pets? WHAT? I would dump him to the curb, but that is just me.

If you have been miserable for a long time then you have been ignoring the problems. You need to evaluate why you have been miserable. If you lived in a mansion where there was plenty of space, would anything really change?

Evaluate what the real issues are and make a decision. Moving out isn't going to solve all of his issues.

The reason I said the breakup/separation is the right thing is because I know he hasn't been happy. Neither have I. Ideally, if we could work this out to the point of having a real relationship again, even living apart, I think I'd like that. When things are good with him, they're good. But when they're bad, it's horrid. I suspect a lot of the bad with us has to do with our current living arrangements.

Does living apart ever save relationships? Is it worth saving it?

My best friend told me this is for the best because I have been miserable for a long time. While I don't recall it being that long, or even ongoing, I know she has a better perspective on the situation than I do so I trust what she says. I also know I'm suffering from the "only remembering the good times" mentality, so I cannot fairly evaluate my relationship for myself.
How do I get perspective so I can focus on and understand the negatives so I can truly evaluate it for what is was, rather than what I've construed it to be?[/QUOTE]