Ask Me Help Desk - Please help.

I need help I'm 20. I got married at 17, was with the guy since I was 13. We have a 2 year old little girl, she is my world and he is a amazing father. The situation is this he hasn't worked for over a year now going on two, and I have been. I work all day every day and support our daughter and him. I come home to a dirty nasty house no food cooked nothing. Then when I get home he's out the door playing with his car or something. We don't talk, we don't make love. I try to communicate with him its like talking to a wall.

I met someone else who I have been having a affair with for little over a year on and off. I have ended my affair in effort to save my marriage nothing but the same bull. Arguments, fighting, and nonsense. I love him yes, I worry about him a lot and still care. I admitted my affair once to him. He got upset then right away we were back to normal.

I am again having a affair with the same guy. I'm not justifying what I'm doing because I know I'm wrong but I'm unsatisfied and unhappy. I don't know what to do or what to say, and I don't want to live like this. I feel like I'm too young and need help please. I'm scared to leave and don't know what to do because of our child. No Im not saying I want to leave him for the other guy OK? Just seeing what I should do.

I wish we could save our marriage but I don't see how, it seems like he's not attracted to me sexually, mentally, our physically and I guess that was the reason for my affair to feel beautiful and wanted :(( please someone help.

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I need help I'm 20 OK I got married at 17 was with the guy since I was 13 we have a 2 year old little girl , she is my world and he is a amazing father. The situation is this he hasn't worked for over a year now going on two and I have been I work all day every day and support our daughter and him , I come home to a dirty nasty house no foodcooked nothing , then when I Get home he's out the door playing with his car or something , we don't talk we don't make love , I try to communicate with him its like talking to a wall , I met someone else who I have been having a affair with for little over a year on and off

So you started the affair before he was out of work. He's been out of work for a year, you've been having an affair for more than a year. So obviously the issues with him not working, or a messy house, weren't the reason for the affair.

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I have ended my affair in effort to save my marriage nothing but the save bull , arguments fighting and nonsense , I love him yes I worry about him allot and still care , I admitted my affair once to him , he got upset then right away we were back to normal , I am again having a affair with the same guy

You didn't end the affair, you're still in it. What have you done to actually save your marriage? Do you think that having an affair is helping your marriage?

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I'm not justifying what I'm doing because I know I'm wrong but I'm unsatisfied and unhappy I don't know what to do or what I'm sad and I don't want to live like this

You are the one that chose to have an affair. If you don't want to live like this, then why are you making these choices?

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I feel like Im to young and need help please , I'm scared to leave and don't know what to do because of our child , no Im not saying I Want to leave him for the other guy OK just seeing what I should do I wish we could save our marriage but I don't see how, it seems like he's not attracted to me sexually mentally our physically and I guess that was the reason for my affair to feel beautiful and wanted ( please someone help...

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You are young, and that's why adults always tell teens and young adults that they're not ready for a long term commitment. It's because they're not ready. Sadly, it's too late to go back and change things. You got married, you have a child, you have to grow up, and your age is not an excuse. You chose your path, now you have to find a way to walk that path.

Your husband is out of work during one of the worst times. It's not easy to get a job right now, even if you have a college degree. I'm guessing he doesn't. Being unemployed when you have a wife and child to support, is depressing. When you're depressed you don't feel like cleaning, you don't feel like being intimate.

You got married. Marriage isn't easy, it's work, and it takes work to make it work. Instead of trying to understand and support the man you married, you had an affair to fulfill your own needs,not carrying about anyone else's needs.

End the affair, support your husband, raise your child, get marriage counseling and learn that there are hard times in life. If you run off to make yourself happy every time things get tough, no relationship you have will ever work.

He knows about your affair. Do you expect him to just accept it? Would you if he had been the one to cheat? He was already depressed, and learning that the woman he married, the mother of his child, is cheating during a very hard time in his life, didn't make things better, it made his depression even worse.

Put on your big girl panties and realize that you have to be an adult now, because that's what you chose. You're not a child playing house, you're a married woman with a husband and child. Act like one!

What do you want to hear? We can't tell you to dump your husband, take your child, and go live with the man you are having an affair with. Do you even know if he would be willing? It's a huge leap from affair to family of 3. He's got his cake and his cupcake too, with no strings attached. What if he realizes that even if you get a divorce with child support, your husband can't pay it? A portion of your paychecks are going to a child who isn't his - and who cares for the child if you are both working?

You could be leaping from the fire pan into the fire. We don't know if your expectations are too romantic. Romantic love is replaced with respect, admiration, compromise, understanding, and a bit of practical adjustment to a difference in a relationship. Your 'affair' could turn out to be just like your husband. We don't know either one of them, or you. You decide.

Young women often feel that they need a man ready and waiting before they leave the one they are with. They should be thinking in terms of being without a man at all until things are really right. If you have family you can go to for a while, do so, while you sort out your marriage.

Stop the affair, dump the bum. Takes TWO to work on a marriage, kids or not. An affair makes you feel good but you ain't handling your business which is a healthy home to raise a child.

Why should he change if YOU don't and allow him to do nothing? What? You thought this was ALL his fault? Straighten up and start doing the right thing. Its not easy but takes some courage to make some positive changes.

You were obviously too young to get married and be parents but that is beside the point now. You are married and you are a mother. And he a father. You two need to sit down and talk about what you two need to be doing together to keep the home and family going. But before you talk to him,you need to get yourself straight. Stop this affair and don't do it again. You are cheating and that is just wrong, never mind what he is or is not doing. You were cheating before he lost his job.
Get some marriage counseling, you two need it. Maybe you both are regretting this early marriage and parenthood thing, but you're there. You need to decide if you want to keep it going, which means you both accepting the responsibility that goes with it, or leave it.