Ok so last Saturday the 13th of April I worked a 12hr shift and my girlfriend was supposed to meet me after work but never showed. I called and called but no answer and eventually went right to voicemail. So I went looking for her in case she broke down somewhere. Well I messaged her friend and she said she hadn’t seen her so I messaged her family and went to her friend’s house. Well my girlfriend got mad and said I was stalking her. Then she told me her friend which she has history with got in a car wreck and was in the hospital and she went to see him and left her phone in the car and it died.

So this morning I went through her phone and turns out she went out with one of her friends and was texting everyone else but me I also saw messages about a guy wanting to get a room and she said I’m poor and have no money didn’t say anything about having a boyfriend or anything and there was something about having to wear a condom but since she was out I guess he went home according to the messages. She also messaged a lot of her guy friends to come meet up and all that and the friend whose house I went to at 3 am said she hadn’t seen her but I know they were out together but she wasn’t in her house when I got there unless she was in the room with the door closed.

What should I do? Should I confront her and tell her I read the messages or just let it go? I really don’t want to lose her and is she cheating on me? All her family members and her coworkers say she won’t cheat and she says it too. She still is all lovey and stuff and says I love you but we only have sex like once a week and it was like every day when we first got together. I need help.

Sounds like she wanted to privacy, and you do not give it, ** going though her phone, just pack up and leave it it has come to this.

Also people don't just start doing these types of behaviors so consider the fact that she may behave this way all the time.

How old are y'all? Based on what is going on it sounds like she is not ready for a committed relationship.

Id say your relationship is pretty much done when you're going through her phone and finding stuff like that. Walk away and be done.

You may not want to lose her, but from where I sit dumping her would be a blessing in disguise because after the pain is over you will do better. Her loving attention is a sham to keep you in the dark as to what he does behind your back and lies about it.

Who needs a liar, even if she isn't a cheater, and that's a doubtful thing at best. Or are you the insecure controlling type that asks a lot of questions all the time about her whereabouts? Whatever the issues are it's a very unhealthy situation and relationship.

She blew you off from picking you up after work for a friend yet no phone call from her? Time to go!! You can't lose something you don't have. This is a poor substitute for a REAL and healthy relationship.

I'm 24 and she's 22 I love her with all my heart and don't want to loose her she still says she loves me and wants to work things out and she calls me babe and stuff like that

You broke trust by going through her stuff but...

From the looks of it, she is likely to be cheating on you. At the very least, you are not getting any respect from her. Why put yourself through this? Let it go. You're young, there's plenty of time in your life.

Her words are meaningless because they just don't match her actions.

I know I broke trust but she doesn't know I did it and I love her I can't help but cry when we get into a fight

Rethink what you read in her messages. Do you really want to have her back? Can you really trust her to be honest with you? Like talaniman said, her words don't match her actions.

I have I have thought about it all day I love her so much and until I get solid solid proof I can't loose her ill go nuts. Until I get proof she cheated I can trust her

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Originally Posted by amartin316

i have i have thought about it all day I love her so much and until i get solid solid proof i can't loose her ill go nuts

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No you won't. Will you be sad? Yes. Will you miss her? Yes. But...

Will you survive? YES!

We have all been through breakups and have all survived them. You will too. But planning to go nuts is not healthy for your future. And remember, you don't have the ultimate say in this. She gets a vote as well.

Don't allow others to control whether you are happy. You know come to think of it, do you do stuff with other friends that don't include her? If not you need to do this. She can't be your entire life because if she wasn't there you would have issues. So start making changes now.

Listen... Honestly if she was talking to other guys and saying she couldn't afford a room but not saying she was already involved... then she says something about a wearing a condom... how much more do you need? Why would she be doing and talking this way if she wasn't cheating on you? How can you possibly think that she's not? It's not like someone told you she said this... you saw it yourself? What kind of proof do you need? Do you need to see her actually having sex with someone?

You're setting yourself up for way more pain down the road than if you cut it off and ended it right now.

Yes I do stuff with friends that don't nclude her and I understand what you guys are saying but I just can't bring myself to do it I made a promise to her I would never break up with her and I'm going to try my hardest to fix this relationship I think I can't picture life without her

LOL... you made a promise to her not to break up with her... no matter what she does? So did she ever promise not to lie to you and disrespect you and cheat on you? I doubt it.

That's just silly and desperate.

Trust me buddy... I've been through this... you are not going to like how this turns out eventually and the longer you try to be the "great and loyal guy" in this relationship, the more it is going to hurt you when it happens.

Is she your first girl friend or something? If you are bound and determined to stick with her, at least call her out. What made you go through her phone, had you been suspecting her of something?

I would say that it sounds like she is definitely cheating or wanting to cheat on you. Texting a guy about buying a room and talking about condoms, going somewhere and not telling you, not letting you know that she can't meet you. Wanting to meet up with guys behind your back (she shouldn't need permission on this though) it sounds to me like she doesn't respect you and is definitely doing something devious. Let us know how this goes, keep us posted on the situation.

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Originally Posted by 1102568

let us know how this goes, keep us posted on the situation.

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Sadly, he pretty much already has told us... he promised her he wouldn't break up with her... he doesn't want to see the truth and he is going to allow her to cheat on him until she decides to break up.