Girlfriend takes me to a party at her ex's house. I'm uncomfortable now.
Hi,
I’m writing here after ages. Broke up with the girl I previously needed help with as she wanted to get married soon and I don’t think I’m settled well enough for marriage so she found some guy off a matrimony site. Good for her. Anyway I’m over her.
And seeing this new fantastic girl. Met her at one of my tours abroad. And I have known her for 5months now. It is an L.D.R. and we meet each other once a month.
Now this is where the issue is. When we met we instantly hit it off. Crushed on each other and it developed well. Now she is close friends with her ex's younger brother. They both are still very good friends even though her ex dumped her for another girl more than a year ago. She doesn’t talk to her ex much. (He was the only guy she has dated, crushed on each other since they were 15 but started dating after they turned 19 and went on for 2 years before it went downhill for another year before they broke up last Feb). They hardly ever spoke if they bump into each other nowadays (As they are from the same religious sect so bump into each other once in a while some Sunday prayer days).
Anyway, I was there and knew her for around 4-5 days then and she wanted to spend time with me so asked me if I wanted to go to a party with her. I agreed. On the way there, just about 5min away from the place she tells me it’s her ex's house. I didn’t think much of it then as I was like we may just be together for another 2 days and then I go back to my country and don’t see her anymore so I didn’t think it was anything crap for me. The ex wasn’t there as he moved out of his own house to his new girlfriend’s house. The party was thrown by the younger brother and his uncle. (The uncle is the house owner). There were many others and some random friend of hers took her aside to show that the photo collage of her and her ex that she made for him was still there. It was getting uncomfortable for me. But I was still OK. I couldn’t walk out as I was in a foreign country at 2am without any sort of public transportation as these were the villa areas and was dependent on her and her sisters for dropping me back to my place which was on the outskirts of the city. All was OK then.
She did mention that she finds it weird coming back to that house after so long and I asked if it was because she wasn’t over him. But she said it was because she hadn’t been there for a year so it’s weird. That’s all. It wasn’t an awkward weird feeling and she was over him long ago. And that some of her stuff was still there. Like her books and notes from old uni. Anyway, now we are together officially and serious and now at times the thought bothers me that she took me to her ex's place to party. I really find it insensitive of her to take me there considering she says she was serious about me and wanted to have a future with me. Then why take me to the house where she has had sex with someone else (she said she never did anything in her own house with any guy) and spent memories and has photos with him. She even showed me his room and some friends needed something so she helped them around the house like she knew it like the back of her hand.
It’s really bothering me more nowadays since we are closer. Those images are in my head. It being the only house that she has had sex. Even shows me his room (one of the obvious places they did it) and also the way she knew the place inside out and how their pics were still there. And she claims she didn’t think of all this, she just wanted to spend time with me so took me there as I was leaving the next night but she was hardly with me there, she was with some other friends, we hardly even spoke even when she sat next to me as she looked serious as if feeling weird and nostalgic though she says it wasn’t so and that she was just a bit tired. I really kind of feel crap that she took me there and all these images are now haunting me.
She had sex there.. Or she has pics there.. Or her books.. Or stories like how she climbed down the window once and jumped off the gate to go home as his relatives suddenly dropped in, etc. Now I know the house to getting a visual image in my head that is screwing me up. I kind of hate her for being insensitive and taking the guy she apparently wanted to be with to an ex's house.
I don’t know what to do to get over this hate feeling towards her and get those images of her and him and that sex places and house locations. Please help. I really like her and she is very sweet in every way possible that’s why I need to get this out of the way. Please help me. Sorry for such a long post. Please help me how I should get over these images and hate feelings for her being insensitive towards me. She has apologized so many times already for taking me there now but I still feel irritated and queasy thinking of the insensitivity. Why take your current or probable guy to an ex's house where you have had a past with him. Please help.