Ask Me Help Desk - My boyfriends mom just died, and we've been having a lot of problems. And it is...

My boyfriends mom just died, and we've been having a lot of problems. And it is...

So recently my boyfriend of 8 months, mom just died. And it has been rough on him ever since. He is not the same person anymore. And has no motivation in life at all anymore. He quit his job after she died and has been in a worst state of mind since. A few days after his mom died, me and my dad got into it real big cause he didn't like my boyfriend and how I was constantly over there being there for him.. and my dad ended up starting a huge argument with me and we ended up having a huge blow out, now my grandma was down and lives in albuquerque and I had no where else to go, and I wanted to stay with my boyfriend, and he begged me to stay, but I couldn't because I had no other clothes or nothing, and I didn't want to have to be the burden on him when he's living at his dads you know, so I had no other choice but to leave with my grandma for a week, when I left he ended up cheating on me with his ex fling he was with before me. I forgave him because I knew he is going through a rough patch and not all there at that moment , and that I left and couldn't be there for him like I tried to, so I never fully got over that he cheated on me because I just put it aside and was only focusing on making him feel better. Well... ends up I still had a whole bunch of anger and pain from not ever resolving it and getting the answers I know I wanted, but didn't bare to hear.. so after that he introduced me to some of is friends, They're all UGLY AND HICKS, but for some reason he though I actually stared at them in a different way when I didn't.. he started to give me a lot of for it even when I didn't stare. So I started to get pissed , and I got more mad caus ei still wasn't over what he did to me plus the he was accusing me of doing when I wasn't. So I started to stare at his friends to make him mad, it was totally wrong of me, but I let me anger get the best of me at the worst part of time in his life, I know it was wrong, and I regret it fully and wish I could take it back and talk it out with him instead of beign a about it, now he doesn't trust me and thinks I'm going to cheat on him when I never have and never will. I am very faithful. But he doesn't believe that, now he's at the point of leaving me, how do I make him want to work things out? I told him ill do anything he asks, and I have been doing everything he asks, no doubt but he still hates me, what do I do?

What a horrible mess. Is this over a period of a week, month, etc?

With all that drama what is the point of working things out? You know when both parties work to be drama free the relationship is so much more fun.

All parties involved including your dad should take anger management classes, relationship classes, how to live drama free classes, and how to make a good lasagna class. Why you ask? Because I love lasagna.

You two should part ways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

What a horrible mess. Is this over a period of a week, month, etc??

With all that drama what is the point of working things out? You know when both parties work to be drama free the relationship is so much more fun.

All parties involved including your dad should take anger management classes, relationship classes, how to live drama free classes, and how to make a good lasagna class. Why you ask? Because I love lasagna.

You two should part ways.

It is over a period of months and until now, its been rocky, but now it's gotten worse with him. I don't think we should part ways. We love each other too much.. well I love him and I know it was wrong

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiaratt

It is over a period of months and until now, its been rocky, but now it's gotten worse with him. i don't think we should part ways. we love each other too much.. well i love him and i know it was wrong

Plus we don't try to have drama, were really good besides all that, that's just the only problem is what I did when I was mad, I have no attraction towards his ugly friends I was just mad

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiaratt

he's never gonna get past this sad stage in life unless i show him i can be trustworthy

No. You are not responsible for his feelings. You do not owe him anything more. You apologized, but he has kept up the drama. You have said it is all your responsibility to fix this. Not true. And he is not taking ANY responsibility to meet you even halfway. It's time to move on without him.

But I am responsible for making him feel this way. And it is my fault he is so depressed. I am trying my best to resolve it and work things out, but he doesn't believe me when I say I have no attraction towards his friends, because I really don't like his friends at all, I stared at them to make him mad.
And it was a horrible choice I deeply regret.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No. You are not responsible for his feelings. You do not owe him anything more. You apologized, but he has kept up the drama. You have said it is all your responsibility to fix this. Not true. And he is not taking ANY responsibility to meet you even halfway. It's time to move on without him.

But I am responsible for making him feel this way. And it is my fault he is so depressed. I am trying my best to resolve it and work things out, but he doesn't believe me when I say I have no attraction towards his friends, because I really don't like his friends at all, I stared at them to make him mad.
And it was a horrible choice I deeply regret.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiaratt

But i am responsible for making him feel this way. and it is my fault he is so depressed. i am trying my best to resolve it and work things out, but he doesn't believe me when i say i have no attraction towards his friends, because i really dont like his friends at all, i stared at them to make him mad.
and it was a horrible choice i deeply regret.

How old are y'all? This sounds like a very immature relationship with too much drama. I am guessing middle school, around 6th grade. And I would venture to say it is wanted drama.

I take back what I said. Maybe you two were meant for each other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiaratt

But I am responsible for making him feel this way. And it is my fault he is so depressed.

No, it is not your fault. He owns his own feelings and can choose to be angry or not. He has chosen to continue to take it out on you and be mean.

Quote:

I am trying my best to resolve it and work things out, but he doesn't believe me when I say I have no attraction towards his friends

He can decide to believe you but is continuing to punish you and is being unfair to you.

Quote:

it was a horrible choice I deeply regret.

You apologized, but he is choosing to be unforgiving.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No, it is not your fault. He owns his own feelings and can choose to be angry or not. He has chosen to continue to take it out on you and be mean.

He can decide to believe you but is continuing to punish you and is being unfair to you.

You apologized, but he is choosing to be unforgiving.

Well then how do I come abut this if I still want us to work it out and be together? How do I show him I want to earn his trust?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

How old are y'all? This sounds like a very immature relationship with too much drama. I am guessing middle school, around 6th grade. And I would venture to say it is wanted drama.

I take back what I said. Maybe you two were meant for each other.

Haha no I'm out of high school, graduated years ago and have a job so no were not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiaratt

well then how do i come abut this if i still want us to work it out and be together? how do i show him i want to earn his trust?

Does HE want to work it out? It doesn't sound like it.

If he is finished, there is nothing you can do.