Ask Me Help Desk - Does she have feelings for me?

Ok so this is what happened. I have a step-mother, her niece came down for a week from Fresno to San Diego, and we got to hang out all week long. She has a boyfriend but she is always sad because he always lies to her and does not keep his word. He asked her to marry her and she said yes, but they didn't get married because he doesn't have a job and still lives with his parents, so I don't know what she really thinks about him.

So back on track, we spent all week together, we went to the beach, the mall, the movies and other different places around the area, during the week. I wasn't working, so spent almost all day with her. She was always holding my hand, and I always was hugging her. She seem to like holding hands and hugging me. She would always wanted to be with me.

When the day came for her to go back home she seemed to be upset because she was leaving, I really like her and she knows it, but I'm not sure if she likes me. We had a great time together and it has been by far the best time I have had in a while. I told her that if she ever wanted to try something with me (relationship) that I would be here for her.

Now this weekend I'm going to Fresno to visit her. What should I do to know if she really likes me? I don't really have a question that I need answered. I just want to hear opinions of what people have to say. Thank you.

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gjr1904 (8 Posts) Asked Yesterday, 06:18 PM — 1 Answer / 206 Views
OK so this is what happened. I have a step-mother, her niece came down for a week from fresno to san diego, and we got to hang out all week long, she has a boyfriend but she is always sad because he always lies to her and does not keep his word, he asked her to marry her and she said yes, but they didn't get married because he doesn't have a job and still lives with his parents, so I don't know what she really thinks about him. So back on track, we spent all week together, we went to the beach, the mall, the movies and other different places around the area, during the week I wasn't working so spent almost all day with her, she was always holding my hand, and I always was hugging her. She seem to like holding hands and hugging me. She would always wanted to be with me. When the day came for her to go back home she seemed to be upset because she was leaving, I really like and she knows it, but I'm not sure if she likes me, we had a great time together and it has been by far the best time I have had in a while. I told her that if she ever wanted to try something with me (relationship) that I would be here for her. Now this weekend I'm going to fresno to visit her, what should I do to know if she really likes me. I don't really have a question that I need answered I just want to here opinions of what people have to say. Thank you.

I am going to be blunt. She has a boyfriend. That fact alone makes her off-limits. Any interaction she is having with you at this point is bordering on cheating (if she hasn't crossed the line emotionally.)

She needs to decide what she wants and to handle her business. It should not include leaning on you or sliding into a relationship with you. She should either stay and work on her relationship or get out and give herself time to heal before she jumps into another relationship.

I highly suggest not going to visit her. Do not add anything else to the confusion both of you are generating. Live your life and let her live her own.

Think about this, if she is willing to get into a relationship with you while still involved with him, then she is cheating and setting a precedence for how she will behave in the future. You would end up wondering if the other male was still in the picture or if she found someone else who might meet her needs better than you do.

Take care of yourself and give her time and space to take care of herself.

I would not visit her either. You are on her turf, and she has a boyfriend on her turf, so any fun dates or time spent is dependent on how her relationship with a boyfriend is. Plus its CHEATING, and giving your heart and chasing a lying cheater is a disaster no matter how much fun you had in the safety of your turf, where she has few friends to tell on her.

Plus taking the word of a lying cheater about her relationship is stupid and dangerous since you know nothing of the fellow, just what she tells you. Frankly you know nothing of her except what she has presented you in a week together, and all you have are good adventures while she was on her "vacation".

Keep your safe distance from a female with a boyfriend because whether she likes you, or not, she is with some one else, and until she dumps him, then she doesn't like you enough to date in a healthy way, but likes you enough to cheat with you.

She found you, she will find others that will help her cheat when she visits anyone else. Or you had a good time as friends, but she has given you fair warning she has a commitment to another and you are but a friend she met and had a good time with. Then its you who would be foolish to disregard her warning and get carried away by your own feelings.

Simply don't give your heart to a pretty stranger who you KNOW has someone already. If you do, then its your fault completely for whatever comes of it, not hers.

Consider yourself WARNED.

I really appreciate you advice/answer.
I really don't know what I feel for her, it just might be a little crush, or something else. Its just that I have not felt like that in a long time. Ill just leave her alone and keep her out of my mind.

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Originally Posted by ogjr1904

I really appreciate you advice/answer.
I really dont know what i feel for her, it just might be a little crush, or something else. its just that I have not felt like that in a long time. ill just leave her alone and keep her out of my mind.

It occurs to me that what you were experiencing was intensified by knowing she wasn't going to be there for very long. Leaving her alone and letting it go is a very good idea.

Keep your mind and eyes open and you will find that feeling again. Good luck.