Hello to all,
I was in a relationship for 7 years and had 2 kids 4, 5 my boyfriend cheated on me many many times and treated me really bad, he moved out but came back when he broke up with the last girl he cheated on me with. We are not together anymore, but a mutual friend who used to be our neighbor has been catching my eye, he comes over every now and again to say hi and the two of them go out once in a while. One night when I had too much to drink I called him asking if he wanted to see me. He said no he couldn't do that because of the situation, I called the next day and apologized to him and now we laugh it off. Last week he called me and said he thinks about me a lot but because of my baby's father he doesn't make a move. Well me and the neighbor went out for a few drinks and went back to his place and kissed for a long time, we wanted to go further but because of the situation we didn't, we now find out we have deep feelings for each other but are not sure what to do. Should we just stay friends because of the situation? Or go with our feelings, I can't stop thinking about him.

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Originally Posted by motherof3

Hello to all,
I was in a relationship for 7 years and had 2 kids 4, 5 my boyfriend cheated on me many many times and treated me really bad, he moved out but came back when he broke up with the last girl he cheated on me with. we are not together anymore, but a mutual friend who used to be our neighbor has been catching my eye, he comes over every now and again to say hi and the two of them go out once in a while. One night when I had to much to drink I called him asking if he wanted to see me. He said no he couldnt do that because of the situation, I called the next day and apologized to him and now we laugh it off. Last week he called me and said he thinks about me a lot but because of my babys father he doesnt make a move. Well me and the neighbor went out for a few drinks and went back to his place and kissed for a long time, we wanted to go further but because of the situation we didnt, we now find out we have deep feelings for each other but are not sure what to do. should we just stay friends because of the situation? or go with our feelings, I can't stop thinking about him.

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You are single, and I am guessing he is too. Go for it your happiness is what counts. If the x has a problem with it, you and/or the new BF should have a talk with him to explain it has nothing to do with him. That you two care for each other. You should also see what the new BF thinks about the kids and You discuss how things like that will affect the relationship before it goes to far.

You are not obligated to live your life still tied to the man who treated you badly.

And, of course, the other side is you need to be willing to live with whatever grief there is going to be. Nobody can make that decision for you. More importantly, is your friend willing to take some heat, whether it is deserved or not.

Your ex is an idiot. He cheated on you many times. You have finally wised up and you aren't accepting that behavior.

So

1) you aren't doing anything wrong. You are an adult. You are single. Your ex is out of the picture and anyway, his gross disrespect for your feelings is well known (cheating)

2) nobody can answer is it worth it but you and your friend. You know they'll be some drama most likely. Having the ex irritated probably isn't enough to stop it. Who cares if he's irritated?

Is there more to it than that? How close is the friend to your ex?

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Originally Posted by motherof3

Hello to all,
I was in a relationship for 7 years and had 2 kids 4, 5 my boyfriend cheated on me many many times and treated me really bad, he moved out but came back when he broke up with the last girl he cheated on me with. we are not together anymore, but a mutual friend who used to be our neighbor has been catching my eye, he comes over every now and again to say hi and the two of them go out once in a while. One night when I had to much to drink I called him asking if he wanted to see me. He said no he couldnt do that because of the situation, I called the next day and apologized to him and now we laugh it off. Last week he called me and said he thinks about me a lot but because of my babys father he doesnt make a move. Well me and the neighbor went out for a few drinks and went back to his place and kissed for a long time, we wanted to go further but because of the situation we didnt, we now find out we have deep feelings for each other but are not sure what to do. should we just stay friends because of the situation? or go with our feelings, I can't stop thinking about him.

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Dear motherof3,
I think you should date him because you both have feelings for each other.
Who cares about the situation its over and done with.Go for him if you both have strong feelings.
Aly

I totally agree! Your ex did not show you any respect during your relationship, so why should you now? As long as this relationship is not going to be strange for your kids then I say go for it. Your new guy has got the sucky end of the stick on this as he may lose a friend but if they only go out from time to time then it doesn't sound like they are that close. A friend of mine had a similar issue. When she was 18 she hung around in a group who were really close. She fell for and married one of the guys, while another was her best man. Her husband totally screwed her over and left her. It took her a while to get over him but she did, then one day she bumps into the best man and they hit it off instantly. She asked me what I thought and I told her to go for it because I knew it was what she really wanted. This guy already knows her inside out so she never has to worry about what he would think of her and she loved that. Her ex didn't like it but deep down he knew he had no-one to blame but himself. They've been together a while now and she says he is the best thing that happened to her and her only regret is that she didn't date this guy first.

Normally I would say go for it, but friends when drinking never has a good ending. Just me. Spend time doing things while sober, and I think you will be a better judge.

I think you should give this relationship a go, and see what happens. No one knows for sure if it will work out, but you will never know unless you try. You don't have to stay single forever just because your cheating ex might not be happy about it. He messed things up with you, and he can live with it now. Be happy and enjoy life, you only get one chance, so make the most of it.

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Originally Posted by motherof3

Hello to all,
I was in a relationship for 7 years and had 2 kids 4, 5 my boyfriend cheated on me many many times and treated me really bad, he moved out but came back when he broke up with the last girl he cheated on me with. we are not together anymore, but a mutual friend who used to be our neighbor has been catching my eye, he comes over every now and again to say hi and the two of them go out once in a while. One night when I had to much to drink I called him asking if he wanted to see me. He said no he couldnt do that because of the situation, I called the next day and apologized to him and now we laugh it off. Last week he called me and said he thinks about me a lot but because of my babys father he doesnt make a move. Well me and the neighbor went out for a few drinks and went back to his place and kissed for a long time, we wanted to go further but because of the situation we didnt, we now find out we have deep feelings for each other but are not sure what to do. should we just stay friends because of the situation? or go with our feelings, I can't stop thinking about him.

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I think you should move on.. you don't want to let yourself get hurt or your children.. once a cheat always a cheat hun

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Originally Posted by Wisconsin_53590

i think you should move on.. you dont want to let yourself get hurt or your children.. once a cheat always a cheat hun

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I am not with the cheater