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-   -   My Girl's a Virgin! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=74398)

  • Mar 21, 2007, 08:24 AM
    kdivine3
    My Girl's a Virgin!
    What's up People, I have a girl and we have been together for about 10months now and I still haven't had sex with her yet!! She says she wants to wait until she gets married. But I am thinking about ending the relationship because it is tuff on me. My friends say I need to keep her and just cheat on her on the side. I do not want to do that to her because she is a sweet girl and I do love her but I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore. When I am in her apartment and we kiss and hug I sometimes don't want to be there because I know we are not going any further, because its like a waste of time. Get my D___ hard and go home frustrated, I'm probably going to just stop calling and seeing her for at least 1 week straight, just to calm myself down, but I know that she will probably get upset about that!! What should I do... Any advice out there?
  • Mar 21, 2007, 08:44 AM
    iAMfromHuntersBar
    This is a real tough situation, and one that's not going to have an instant 'fix' to it.

    You really need to talk to your girlfriend and tell her how you're feeling.

    That said, don't go wading in with any emotional blackmail, the last thing you want to do is make your girlfriend feel pressured into sex, as this is likely to have the opposite effect.

    If you really do love her, respect her and wait, she may change her mind in time.
  • Mar 21, 2007, 08:48 AM
    ScottGem
    First you don't say how old you are. That has a bearing here.

    But frankly, I think she's better off without you. If you truly love her you would respect her wishes.

    That being said, I would try a frank discussion with her. I would explain that there are things you can do together that would relieve your needs without her losing her virginity. If she loves you, she will understand and want to help.
  • Mar 21, 2007, 09:05 AM
    BigNe
    For a girl it's a big thing 'giving away her virginity' however for a guy its well there you go who's next?

    You need to talk to her and potentially mention stuff about playing with each other because that way she will still be a virgin and you both have pleasure and not go home frustrated.

    Alternatively there maybe an underlying fact that you don't know about and that is why she won't have sex with you. Talk to her!!
  • Mar 21, 2007, 10:47 AM
    scarlettk
    Comment on frien_dd's post
    You clearly have zero respect for your partners. The one you left was lucky!
  • Mar 21, 2007, 11:21 AM
    kristynn
    Talk to her seriously, but don't try to deliberately make her change her mind about what she wants. You have no choice but respect her decision, but she also needs to know that you're not 'happy'.

    It would be way to immature to leaver just because she doesn't want to have sex.
  • Mar 21, 2007, 01:16 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Actually she has told you what she wants and expects and she is showing good morals,

    And honestly if you are thinking about leaving a wonderful girl just because you can't have sex, you need to leave her since she deserves awhole lot better than you. And anyone who would considered cheating on a good girl like this, does not deserve her anyway. So basically it sounds like she needs a better person than you, So I would consider rethinking what is important in life, or move on to trashy girls that sleep with anyone.

    You are basically saying sex is more important than a long term relationship.

    Of course this does sound like a 14 or 16 year old talking who does not understand long term seroioius relationships.
  • Mar 21, 2007, 03:19 PM
    talaniman
    Honestly she has told you how she feels and its up to you to deal with it. If all you want is sex, there are plenty out there to accommodate you, but if you have feelings then show the proper respect.
  • Mar 22, 2007, 05:41 PM
    chuff
    Wow. This is kind of interesting post. We have tons of guys who post her would give anything to be with a good, honest, loyal woman. You have one but you want to cheat on her.

    You're the reason she's a virgin. It's guys like you she wants to protect herself from so you should probably do the right thing and let her know that her beliefs are not compatible with your beliefs and end the relationship so that you can both find people that match your beliefs.
  • Mar 22, 2007, 06:04 PM
    Charrrr
    I agree with Chuff.
    I can't believe you want to cheat on her.

    I would have said if you care about her enough to want to have sex with her then talk to her about it and open up, but you are so one track minded you want to cheat on her?

    I'd say break up with her. You're doing her a favour.
  • Mar 22, 2007, 06:27 PM
    cutos
    Why don't cha talk to her? Tell her its driving you crazy! But another reason I want to wait... but didn't. Is be because I thought my Bf would get tired of me and leave after we already did EVERYTHING. That's wats up with a lot of girls their not afraid to have sex... just afraid to loose you :(
  • Mar 22, 2007, 06:29 PM
    cutos
    PLEASE!!!! DONT SINK THAT LOW AND CHEAT FOR SEX!! well since you say you really love her then you should be able to wait for her till she's ready to have sex. But if your not willing to wait then you're a piece of trashy BF that sounds like he only wants some :( soory for any hard feelings but itz what I see :( ~!* PEACE ~!*
  • Mar 22, 2007, 07:07 PM
    letmetellu
    I wish the girlfriend would post a question here and the same people could give her some advise. My advise would be for her to stay her course, one reason being that I feel this guy is just out for the sex and does not care enough for her, if he is thinking about finding a piece on the side and still date her.
  • Mar 23, 2007, 06:54 AM
    Krs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kdivine3
    Whats up People, i have a girl and we have been together for about 10months now and i still haven't had sex with her yet!!! She says she wants to wait until she gets married. But i am thinking about ending the relationship because it is tuff on me. My friends say i need to keep her and just cheat on her on the side. I do not want to do that to her because she is a sweet girl and i do love her but i'm getting to the point where i don't care anymore. When i am in her apartment and we kiss and hug i sometimes don't want to be there because i know we are not going any further, becuase its like a waste of time. Get my D___ hard and go home frustrated, i'm probably going to just stop calling and seeing her for at least 1 week straight, just to calm myself down, but i know that she will probably get upset about that!!! what should i do.... Any advice out there?

    1, First off your mates are shallow and I hope you don't listen to them.
    2, if the only reason you are considering to break with is because she don't want to have sex, then she totally doesn't deserve this, because all you can think of is sex, while she is seeing the whole picture of a relationship. Yes sex is grand, but its NOT the most important thing. So if she decides to sleep with you, you won't consider breaking up?

    I would sit down and talk to her gently. What boys don't consider is that fact of how delicate is it for a women to lose her virgnity, 99% of women see that as a huge deal and it shouldn't taken for granted.

    When I meet my man, I was fairly naïve in the bedroom. He never once thought of breaking up with me because I made him wait, why, because he truly cared for me and he RESPECTED ME
  • Mar 23, 2007, 03:08 PM
    NowWhat
    You should break it off with her. You aren't in love with her - that is obvious in your post. Cheating on her would be a devastating betrayal. Be a MAN and walk away!
  • Mar 23, 2007, 04:02 PM
    shygrneyzs
    I think your girlfriend needs a more understanding boyfriend - which is not you. Sorry, but if you are only focused on her virginity, there is not much else going on with you. Go and find the girl you want and please leave your current girlfriend alone. You have no value for her values.

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