Hi everyone,

I will try and keep this as brief as possible. My girlfriend is 30 and I'm 27 and I am really struggling to get over my gfs past and I know it shouldn't be a problem but it's getting to me more and more.
We have been together for almost 2 years and things were fantastic at first but every so often, in the early stages of the relationship, she would mention something about ex's, it was never anything good she said about them but I just don't seem to believe what she says. Over time she said more about how she had had 1 night stands and twice had a 3some, I said ' why would you think I would like to know that? But thanks yeah! ' Does anybody think that she was just trying to see if I'd get jealous?

I've never spoke about my past with her, she has tried asking a few times and I say that is my past and I don't want to think, let along talk about it and it would have been fine if she had never told me.
Yesterday she had a text from her ex who she never has any contact with and if he does text I know she just ignores but this text he sent yesterday she was very shady about it and wouldn't tell me what it said but I saw the text after that said 'bet you've not had it as good as that night since.' I know he was talking about years because I know 100% she wouldn't cheat on me. I didn't let this ex get away with sending texts like that and as my girlfriend didn't want them to keep being sent to her either I went and sorted him out good and proper but now can't stop thinking about the text before that one, my girlfriend did offer to show me it after I asked more but to be honest I think it would have made me feel worse. I know it's 99% me being stupid and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend doesn't know I'm feeling like this, the way I see it is that it's my problem I'm thinking like this, why should she be made to feel guilty about things that's happened years before I met her, it wouldn't be fair on her.
I was wondering if anybody had any words of wisdom for me or advice, leaving her at the minute would not be an option unless it got too bad so it would be fairer to leave.
Apart from this all this crazy stuff in my head everything else in our relationship is perfect and couldn't ask for a better partner.

Please help I don't know what to do anymore.


P.S It actually has helped just writing this and getting it off my chest

"i'm pretty sure my gf doesn't know i'm feeling like this"

What? Try communicating with her. You don't have to say it like "I don't want to know about your slutty past..." Say it without being judgmental and tell her you don't feel comfortable when she talks about her past sexual experiences.

It is somewhat concerning that you have been together 2 years and still aren't communicating at a high level. I've been with my partner since October I think and we talk to each other about everything. Open those lines of communication and it will make a world of difference.

I have to admit that when I read your title, I was prepared to post a response ripping you up. After reading your whole question though, I've changed my mind.

Normally we have guys coming here whining about their GFs past but it turns out that they were the ones stupid enough to demand that their GF tell them all the details... then they whine about not being able to deal with it. You, on the other hand, were smart enough to know that what's in the past before you... is in the past before you and not your concern. It is the person that you are with now that matters... not who she was or what she did before you came along. You realize this so that's half your battle, really... more than half I would say.

The problem is that she felt the need to tell you for some odd reason. I have no idea why she would volunteer this information to you, but she did. Now you just need to try to get over that... this is going to depend on what kind of person you really are and if you really trust her. I think you know the answers already and I think you will be able to get past this. In time, this will fade away as long as she doesn't bring it up anymore.