Originally Posted by talaniman
The way you say it
It's not what you say, but the way you say it.
On a blind date, the boy said to the girl: "Time stands still when I look into your eyes."
The girl was very flattered.
What the boy had really meant was, "You have a face that would stop a clock."
My wife is missing
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?"
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
Bathroom Philosophers
Some ordinary folks become great philosophers when they are sitting alone in the bathroom stalls of the world contemplating life's problems. Here are a few gems.
Make love, not war. Heck, do both, get married! - Women's restroom. Bozeman, Montana
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. - Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. - Written on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. - Revolution Books. New York, New York.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! - Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.
