I recently met this girl and we've been out on dates 4 times. I told her that I like her but are we actually dating? I want to ask her to know where we stand but don't know if I should. Another thing bothering me is that I've asked her to meet up but she never gets back to me about this, in fact I could be waiting hours for her to get back to me. If we were dating, shouldn't meeting up be a prominent part of the relationship?

Sounds like she may not be as into this as you are. Time to have a talk and see where she's at here.

Well, "dating" means "going on dates". So, you've been dating. This is not the as being exclusive or her being your "girlfriend", which implies a level of exclusivity and commitment.

I think after four dates it's a bit irrational and unreasonable to expect immediate call backs. "Hours" is not a long time. If you called her Monday evening to invite her to dinner for Friday evening, and left a message, I suppose she should get back to you by Wednesday - not by 7 pm the night you call.

I can tell you that when a person appears over-eager or like they are rushing things, a common response is for the other person to slow things down on their end to make up for it and keep the pace comfortable. So, if you're calling too often, she'll respond less often. She's trying to slow you down.

Take the hint, and slow yourself down.

Do not consider this to be a committed relationship. After you are seeing her for perhaps a few months, then I think it's appropriate to ask her to be exclusive if things are going well. That still doesn't mean that you are in charge of her or own all her time, nor that she needs to talk to you daily or respond to texts instantly. Give her reasonable space, don't expect to be included in everything. The best way to do this is have some of your own plans with the guys, etc. Pay attention to the her behaviors and you'll learn from her how much she wants to be together. Talk about it openly, too, but wait until it's been a while - not date five.

I also strongly discourage you from making too many physical moves. Treat her like a lady, don't try for sex before you are in a serious relationship with her. Take that whole thing slowly, too. I mean - go for the kiss, but seriously - don't be Mr. Hands. Women who feel pushed will back away.

Just because she has been on 4 dates with you that does not mean she considers you her boyfriend. The fact that she is not getting back with you implies that. You don't have a relationship, she just goes out with you occasionally.

4 dates is way too soon to expect such a monopoly on her time. Just relax and enjoy your dates and not make this a big deal as obviously your expectations are much higher than hers.

Keep the social life that you enjoy, especially other options and opportunities for love and romance, and/or just dating.

I will agree, first what do you mean by "meet up" this will help explain things.

Next so you are dating, yes, you have went on 4 days, most likely planned a few days in advance, many people are like that, many people do not drop or go out at a moments notice.

And waiting a few hours for a response is just how many people do. I check text message maybe 3 times a day, so people wait.

Also most people would be dating or open to date many people for a while and it may be months and dozens of dates before it moves past that.

Yes, you're dating, that's what going on dates means. Is she your girlfriend, are you two exclusive? No. You're just dating, which means you go out when you both agree to, and you're both free to date other people.

Even if you were boyfriend and girlfriend. Does not mean that this person would have to answer to your every beckon call. People now a days. They have their own lives to lead. There own things to do, does not mean that you need to be around that person all the time, or to expect somebody to get back to you right away, is too demanding really.

I agree this is only dating and thinking you need to not put any expectations or demands this early. Its called the scare factor.

Thank you for this response. I've been seeing a guy for a few months and have been taking things slow. We both understand that we have commitment issues and have recently decided to be exclusive. We haven't had sex yet but continue to go on dates and spend a lot of time together. Yet, have our own lives and there is plenty of "me time". Thank you for confirming that this is a healthy pace for my relationship to be going so far. I've been wondering what's too slow or too fast!