My mum died 4 months ago and my dad wanted me to live with him and when I told him no he said my mum hated me anyway. I'm 14 and now live with my nan but she always wants to talk about my mum when I don't want to she said if I don't want to talk about her she would make me live with my dad, so I want to be adopted but I don't know how to do it?

You can't... it's not up to you.