Ask Me Help Desk - 17yr dating 13yr

So we've been dating few months now and I lied to her parents about my age saying I was 15. HUGE MISTAKE. I don't know if this is even legal to date her. I'm going to talk with her parents with mine to admit my real age. I live in New Jersey. We're about four years apart less by a week. There hasn't been any sexual contact between us. All we have done is kissed and hugged and held hands? If her parents allow us to date what can I do and can't do with her? People told me this is wrong, to break up with her but I know and I'm risking everything to be with her because she means a lot to me. Someone help?

Her PARENTS will decide, and you are dreaming if you think they will say yes.
There's no law against dating at any age per se; it's all about sex or even the suspicion of sex, or even influencing someone much younger in such a way that could be called contributing to the delinquency of a minor, or any number of phrases used by each of the 50 states. Going somewhere where there are drugs or booze and she gets hurt. Going in a car with others and getting hurt. Going anywhere and getting hurt. She picks up some new ideas about things that adults call 'undue influence' by you. A 13 year old is impressionable, vulnerable, eager to please, and not able to make adult decisions carefully.
With children and sex, there is very, very little 'innocent until proven guilty.' Once her parents find out your age, they will be on you like flies on a dead horse.
First thing you do - today - is tell them your age with a profuse apology, and you face the consequences without a word. Even if it means not seeing her for a very long time.
No, she doesn't 'mean a lot to you.' You think so but everything you have done says otherwise. You not only lied, you lied for MONTHS, and now who knows what she faces from her parents for the next 5 years?
Would you rather be on the sexual predator database everywhere you go for the rest of your life, even if you never had sex?

I'm not trying to be mean here but I am wondering if you can tell me what it is about a 13 year old that you find attractive? At your age, you should be on a different level than a 13 year old... so what can you possibly have in common with her?

Well yea iknow but she's just so funny and makes me laugh and smile so much. She's weird so she's different from anyone I've met. She accepts who I am and loves to cook like me. Loves to watch movies, cartoons, like the same music and do stupid things together, day by day gettig to know her there is more things I can relate to her with. I'm not good at explaining lotta things don't expect you to fully understand. Both our parents are divorced so we know how it is. She and I r willing to wait for each other. She's perfect to me. And since I'm young looking we kind of look alike same age

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

Her PARENTS will decide, and you are dreaming if you think they will say yes.
There's no law against dating at any age per se; it's all about sex or even the suspicion of sex, or even influencing someone much younger in such a way that could be called contributing to the delinquency of a minor, or any number of phrases used by each of the 50 states. Going somewhere where there are drugs or booze and she gets hurt. Going in a car with others and getting hurt. Going anywhere and getting hurt. She picks up some new ideas about things that adults call 'undue influence' by you. A 13 year old is impressionable, vulnerable, eager to please, and not able to make adult decisions carefully.
With children and sex, there is very, very little 'innocent until proven guilty.' Once her parents find out your age, they will be on you like flies on a dead horse.
First thing you do - today - is tell them your age with a profuse apology, and you face the consequences without a word. Even if it means not seeing her for a very long time.
No, she doesn't 'mean a lot to you.' You think so but everything you have done says otherwise. You not only lied, you lied for MONTHS, and now who knows what she faces from her parents for the next 5 years?
Would you rather be on the sexual predator database everywhere you go for the rest of your life, even if you never had sex?

Well I'm willing to wait till she and I can date again if that's what I have to do. Obviously there's other people other girls but not like her.

Answer back TOMORROW after you have talked with her parents. You can do it alone and face the music alone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

Answer back TOMORROW after you have talked with her parents. You can do it alone and face the music alone.

I made the call and I'm lucky they didn't call the cops.. "Yet" that I know of because her mom hates me now, I know I messed up her life now and my own, So pretty much I can't come into contact with her anymore.. And I blocked her number and everything else. Time to move on. Thank you people.