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My kids are in elementary. One is 9 and the other is 8. They "take over" the remote and they turn it on to SpongeBob. This is happening for like 3 months now. They were getting A+ grades but somehow it caused them to get C grades and even D. The teachers say it could affect their memory. Help!
So who is the parent here?
I am the parent of my 2 8yr and 9yr old kids.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Take away the remote and hide it. By asking who the parent is, I was wondering who is in charge, you or these two children.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaynaB
Oh okay I put it high but they climb and get it and they steal the remote and I try to get it from them but they eventually get away so I let them do it so they won't scream like they would.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Send the remote to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaynaB
Certainly you can find a hiding place that is secure. And ignore their screams. Find something else for them to do. Stop being a doormat for your kids.
When my son was small, I restricted television to one half hour television program a day, which I chose, until he was a competent reader. I did not have video games in the house until he was in 7th grade. For some kids, television and other electronics can train them to look at the page and expect it to do something and move and entertain them. So, it's best they learn to read well first.
At your kid's age, I would restrict television to one hour a day. If Sponge Bob is their choice, fine. However, they have to earn the privilege. Since they are walking all over you, I would keep the remote on your person until they have earned it for the day.
They are old enough to understand rules, which need to be posted in clear view on your refrigerator.
First, they need some downtime to play - without electronics - when they get home from school. Perhaps they can play while you prepare dinner. After dinner, while you do the dishes, they sit at the kitchen table and do homework. They must show you that their assignments are written in their planners from school and show you the homework assignments, completed and done to your satisfaction, before they are excused from the table. If they have spelling words or tests in other subjects, they have to study that material as well before they are excused. You can quiz them on the material to see if they are learning it adequately.
When they are done with homework and studying, they have to organize their stuff and put it in their backpacks. Then they straighten their rooms if it needs doing, complete any other chores, shower or bathe, put on their pajamas and then can be rewarded with that hour of television or other screen time. Not both. If they want to use the computer, it's instead of television - unless it's for school. If it's for school, you need to supervise to make sure that's all they are doing.
After the hour, you turn the television off. They brush their teeth and go to bed. When they are in bed, you watch what you want.
If you do this, your kids will be great students, their chores will be done, you'll teach them to stick to a schedule and you'll have a peaceful home.
Have a clear and predictable bedtime routine, too. I always permitted my son to stay up one half hour in bed to read books. He was not allowed to have any electronic devices in his room except a basic alarm clock. No radio, television, computer, cell phone. His room was for reading, resting and sleeping and that was it. If he did not feel like reading, it was lights out. He learned to like reading.
It's important to maintain discipline. If the child does not cooperate with study time, chores, bathing, clearing their plate from the table or other basic expectations, they loose their television time and go to bed early instead. If you follow through, they will figure it out.
You reserve the right to reward them with extras. I would avoid making the extra television or other screen time.
I used a sticker chart. If my son set the table, cleared his plate, did his homework without nagging, kept his room in order, took his shower and other responsibilities without nagging, he earned star stickers. He got a dollar for every day that he was fully cooperative with my responsibility chart on the refrigerator. This taught him to work for his money.
He could also earn checks - which were for bad behavior. I didn't look for bad behavior but if he blew off a homework assignment, argued about doing his chores, didn't make his bed, mouthed off rudely or lied to me, he would get checks. He lost a star for every check. So, it literally cost him to misbehave. There were other consequences as well like lost television time, earlier bedtimes or lost privileges.
Take the batteries out of the remote and grow a backbone. You are the parent. You set the rules and your children are expected to obey them.
No, Spongebob isn't affecting your kids... you allowing them to take control and watch TV all the time is.
Spongebob is actually a pretty decent show for the most part. I never minded when my daughter used to watch that... but you need to set limits. And you giving in to them when they scream just shows them that they can get what they want by acting out. You need to become a parent.
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