Originally Posted by
jakester
Of course, it's natural to feel the way you do. You have regrets about how you handled yourself in the relationship and that is natural, too. It's possible that his love for you waned due to the things you described. On the other hand, maybe he had never vested himself fully into the relationship either. Only you really know that.
I'd say that at this point, if you feel there wasn't a real resolution to the breakup, it can't hurt to ask him to meet you for coffee sometime so you can talk. Maybe you can tell him that you realized where you made mistakes and that you'd like to see if he'd be willing to try again...maybe this time just taking things slow and easy. If he rejects your offer to meet and doesn't want any part of it, it's safe to say that you have to move on.
Working with that person is certainly difficult because you don't have the separation you need to get past the breakup. However, this piece of advice I can give may not be easy, but it is necessary to embrace. Not everyone is meant to be together. I've been through a divorce that was very difficult but after 4 years of reflection, I learned some valuable lessons from that experience. I'm wiser for it. I learned what things I want out of a partner and I learned some things about me that I needed to change. In a way, a failed relationship can be a gift if looked at in the right way. Perhaps you can look at this person no longer with a sense of longing for what you don't have but look at this person for what they taught you. Be grateful when you see that person instead of sad. You won't die from this. You should spend this time reflecting on all of the things you mentioned you did wrong and try to work on becoming a better person. When you can receive this hardship in this light, it won't hurt as much because you will have freed your mind to think about improving, not on the failure or the loss. Give it time and just let things be.