I'm in the same situation we we're girlfriend/boyfriend when we we're 13 and 15. We dated a couple of years then we both moved on. We each had a couple of really bad relationships and over the years we kept tabs on each other. Now we are 57 and 55 but the problem is he was hurt so bad he is really careful and cautions now which has put a major dent on our relationship. We love each other but I'm the one that is in more love with him than me. We see each other between other obligations but I hate the way he keeps me at arm’s length. He asked for time, space and respect. I'm giving him that and I feel like I'm not being me. How can help him? We are exclusive and the love has never gone away over 42 years. I would love for him to ask me to marry him and move in but until he can get past his hurt what is the best thing to do? He said since he’s been single for awhile he likes to come and go and not have to answer to anyone and he can take it or leave it having a girlfriend but he doesn’t want me to go. Any suggestions?

I'm thinking you are going to have to take him as he is and be his friend and part-time girlfriend or just walk away. You seem to have more invested in this "relationship" than he does.

Why is he so cautious?

Was it one woman that caused this, or many others?

How long have you two been dating now?

Can you give any specific example on how he keeps his distance?

You know, if your life was observed under a magnifier, than giving details would not matter.

Why don't you provide more details if you would like to share, and get better answers.

When he was married his wife had a baby with someone else and other trust issues.

He loves me he says but only wants a part time girlfriend in his life. Given our history I would think he would be a little more trusting since we have knowen each other over 40 yrs. I have told him that I would never hurt him like they did but to me it seems he likes coming and going without really having to answer to anyone. He does tell me what his plans are and since we both are retired I was hoping things would progess a little quicker. He say he has a three year plan so if I think he worth waiting for then I guess I need to respect that right?

Okay, did not ask for all that, sorry if I confused you.

The main thing I wanted to know is how long have you two been DATING?

This time around 6 months

Okay, thanks for responding.
I will have to admit he is a complicated person, that is not a good situation you are in. Six months is not a very long time for growing trust, more importantly it is not enough to revive his passion for you.
He is not going to climb past this barrier unless you talk to him, it will take time. I thing you are frustrated now, because you expect more from him, and he telling you his plans has a little meaning; if you are not included.
Again complicated people are hard to deal with, those people who berry their fears with distance can't escape unless they talk and open up.
Now here is what you need:
You can ask about it. To tell you the truth don't always expect him to be interested, he will probably hide it, just be that shoulder of comfort, you stick to him because you said there is a fair attraction between you two, that is special. That man you talk about, is close to you, so you should know how to approach this.

I will ask you, is he worth waiting for?
So he treats you well, but is that enough?
Is he the same with everyone like you?
You only know that.

I would like to think yes he is worth waiting for others say no but he is a awesome guy.

There you have it, you know him best, there is no way for me to tell you what to do.
I think that if you at least try to talk it out you could have a better chance, I say that but it all depends on his response to you, and it might take time.

Let me tell you this:
Some people believe everything that crosses their mind, and that is wrong. For example, your boyfriend might believe trusting any other woman will brake his heart, that is a wrong way of thinking, if he does not trust you than what relationship is there?

You should try and talk to him it may make him open up, again it may take time, but if that does not work than you should let go.