All right, I'm pregnant and due in just over 2 weeks.
It wasn't until the last week or so that my now ex-boyfriend decided that me and him should start getting along and being friends, and has started trying to be a part of my life so that he can be a part of the baby's life. I slept with one of my close friends at his party around the same time I got pregnant (my boyfriend and I were on a break) but I'm sure that the condom didn't break (which is how I got pregnant with my ex-boyfriend)... so I'm sure that it IS my ex-boyfriends baby girl.
Me and my ex-boyfriend were going through a rough patch since I got pregnant, I had just moved back to town after leaving for 2 months without any warning. I was at a rough spot in my life and made some mistakes, but I moved back and fixed them and got my life completely back on track. We split up twice after I came back until the third time (which was at the beginning of February) where I said that was it, we broke up and I wasn't going to get back with him again. I couldn't stay with him with all of the complaints he had. I wasn't the same person he met before I went away, things were completely different and I had lost most of my romantic feelings for him. We'd become good friends and nothing more then that... at least in my mind.
He continued to trash talk me and put me down, he called me a slut accusing me of cheating on him (which I not once did) and he threatened me if I got with another guy while I was pregnant, and even after.. because he wouldn't allow any other men around the baby. I have no intentions on getting with anybody anyway, but it still ticked me off that he would even say that. He contantly nagged me and asked me tons of questions, repeating the same ones over and over and then accused me of lying when I gave him the answers. He started telling me that I was selfish because I broke up with him, that I only thought about MY feelings and not his and that I basically ruined my daughter's life before she is even born because I "ruined" any chance she had at a "happy family". He even got his mother nagging at me and asking the same questions, basically telling me the same things.
Not only that, but all the tension from before when we were still together, he drank almost every weekend (I am not trying to nag that he drank every weekend.. I did much worse before I got pregnant) but he became violent and angry with me. He would scream and yell at the top of his lungs and call me every name in the book.. and then either deny it happening the next morning or say he didn't remember and try to appologize and act like everything was okay. It was okay the first couple of times, but it became too much of a habbit and even if he didn't mean what he said after hearing it too many times it become impossible to not believe.
So anyway, I told him (well over a month ago, in fact it was before I broke up with him) that if he didn't learn to control his anger and agree to be my friend (because at the time that is what I truly wanted, I still cared so much about him as a friend and I wanted to get along for our baby's sake anyways) that it was going to be too late, and I wouldn't make the effort to let him see his daughter, because the last thing I wanted around her is a man who is going to constantly start pety fights with me and trash talk me in front of her.. and just refuse to get along. I would have rathered her not have a father at all then be around constant fighting. I told him we only had about 2 months until she was born so he had better smarten up soon.. or it would be too late and I wouldn't be able to forgive him and look past it.
Well it has been too late. He waltzed in a week or so ago and said he wants to be friends, that he's done being a jerk and that he wants to be a part of mine and her life and keeps calling me and showing up at my house (because I was ignoring his phone calls) and trying to get me to forget anything ever happened.. just let it go and get along with him.
It has been me doing all of the work thus far. My whole bedroom has been re-done and I've bought absoutly everything she has so far. The only thing he has bought was a set of 3 receiving blankets and some wash cloths for her.. which was only because his family sort of forced him to buy something to make it look like he was at least trying. He hasn't come to any doctors appointments or anything, and I told him that he could come. He wanted to get together to pick out a name for her (now I have made a decision without him though) and both days that he said he would be free he either started a pety fight over nothing and wouldn't talk to me on the day we scheduled to meet up and talk about it, or he just didn't bother calling me (and I told him that I am not making the effort to call him, I don't want him around anymore.. he waited too long to smarten up, if he wants in her life and mine he will make the effort)... so we haven't met up.
Now when he calls he complains to me that I am being the bad guy because I am busy nearly every day after he is done work (finishing the house for when the baby is born and buying the last couple things I need, and one of my best friends found out he has lung cancer.. so I am trying to spend time with him while we can, also visiting relatives I haven't seen in ages).
Am I really being the bad guy? I don't feel I owe him anything, I gave him plenty time to smarten up when I shouldn't have had to tell him to... it's too late now I can't just forgive and forget. I can't stand him, I don't even care for him as a friend anymore.
I was told that because we were never married that I have sole custody of my baby girl when she is born. I'm not having him sign the Birth Certificate or anything and I am going to put the father down as unknown. I absolutely do not want him around me or her when the time comes anymore. I gave him ages to smarten up... even before I asked him, to he should have on his own. He turned 22 years old last year, and I turn 19 in 3 weeks... I shouldn't have to tell him to grow up and control his anger.
He wants to take me to court if I don't start letting him into my life and the baby's when she is born. If the father is written as unknown does he still have the same rights? Can he force a paternity test to prove that it is his (assuming it is)? Is there any way that I can have him cut out of both of our lives if he takes me to court?
