Hi all would like to share my experience of my relationship problems with all in hope anyone could kindly give me some advice and help.
I am a 31 year old man currently with a lady of 32 years old in a relationship. We had been together for 3 years. We had a very good relationship. During the first two years, I can feel my girlfriend is so attach to me. She loves me a lot and will always spend most of her time with me. She has little friends and activities when we first get together, so I invited her to join my activities and soon to realize, we spend most of our time together. We meet almost every day and we had never run out of topics with one another. Always talking to one another, meet in the morning and afternoon but at night we will still chat on the phone. The relationship was so perfect, and we went on to our commitments to make plans for our wedding.
On the 2nd half of the 2nd year, we got even closer, we will stay over each other houses like 3 times per week or more, sometime even 5 times. We basically are just like wife and husband. We are so comfortable of being together. Once in a while, I will give her surprise to bring her oversea for a short getaway and do small surprises for her. But soon I realize we are so comfortable that we stop doing normal dating, we do almost a lot of mundane stuff that we used to do. I thought she is okay because I always wanted to bring her on hot dates she always refuse asking me not to spend so much money.
Soon when my wedding date comes close, around 6 months away, she changed. After one big argument, she suddenly changes to another person which I find it hard to believe.
1) She say in the past 2 years she was not really herself, the character that she portray is just to suits my character and needs. Because wedding is coming she wants to show me the real self and see whether I am able to adapt. (I feel shock because all along I thought our characters were suited that is why I committed in signing the wedding banquet, houses etc. with her) - Somehow I feel a bit cheated like she is not being honest from the start. But she explained because in the early relationship she loves me too much.
2) NOW she no longer have the same attraction she used to have for me. She says her love for me is just like the love for her family member. Therefore she says she cannot marry me. Because she don't have the attraction and passion anymore. It just died off. (Therefore she no longer feels interested in talking to me. Everything like talking to me etc. seems like obligation I guess.)
3) She is not ready for marriage. She cannot convince herself to say the vow. Says she love me etc. because she say her love for me has becomes the love of family... not passion ( this is very sad for me... I feel like I am such a loser.)
4) She say she still loves me (family kind of) so she wanted to try with me again to re-find the passion she once had. But for now we had to cancel all wedding plans and preparations.
For me everything came in a shock. I am not expecting anything like this. Suddenly the girl of my life that I wanted to spend my life with says she is not herself and she has LOST PASSION AND ATTRACTION ON ME. I mean how tough can it get. I ask her what if we keep trying and trying and she still cannot find the passion or attraction then one day an attractive guy came along and she fell very attracted to him? Will she leave this guy (me) who she has only family love kind of feeling? She say she don't know... will be very tempted.
My heart sinks... I spend all my effort and heart into these 3 years relationships... the result I get in the end is this. Hope anyone can give me some advises... I don't know what to do anymore.