My husband has ED; we have been together for 2 years, married 1 yr. I don’t work, I go to school online, take care of the home, I knew of this problem when we got together and our sex life was fine. When we got together we had sex 2-3 times a week. 6 months after we have been together our sex life has changed. We have sex once a week on Saturday. He says he is tired from work, he is not as horny as me and 6 months after that he says now he says the same thing, we are lucky if we have sex 2-3 times a month.

He does work longer hours, but only during the week days, he is home on the weekends. He says he is not horny or sexually active like me and I am horny all the time. He is 42, and I’m 43. We use to communicate all the time, we are honest, but just lately we seem to not talk so much and we seem to snap at each other too. I mentioned about taking vitamins to reduce my sex drive and he said OK and that is part of life. He made me feel like he didn’t care.

He is a truck driver for a small company. He is only gone 1 day out of town which made me feel like he could cheat but if he is not interested in sex why would he do it with anyone else? I have been counting his Viagra and none is missing. I feel bad about that because I have always trusted him and felt like he was honest with me. I feel so unattractive and depressed some days.

What do you think about Goat Weed? Can you take it with Viagra or does it work like Viagra? I was told it makes you horny but don’t know if you just take it, or take it with Viagra? What do we do about this?

I have never seen anything to indicate that anything other than a prescription medication works for ED.

It also sounds like he is not unhappy with the situation.

Have an honest talk with him. Ask him.

My husband still tries to play around with me, wrastle, joke with me but I am down & depressed because I have so much on my mind about how to handle this. I don't feel attractive (he is not the type of guy to tell you look great or brag on you or me that is, he said he use to be honest to ex girlfriends about their clothes and it would upset them when they liked something and he thought it didn't, he says I should know that I look beautiful because that is why he married me). I get down I am just not in the mood to play, when you are stressed you are not in the mood to play. I tried talking to him and he will talk for a short bit and then change the subject; just like he said OK to the fact I said I would get vitiams to lower my sex drive or eat food to lower my sex drive and he said that is life. He made me feel like he was not interested or didn't care. He use to not be that way, he took interest in our conversation and our relationship. We argue about our sex life he says I am too sexual active and he is to tierd during the week he just wants to come home and rest for 2 hours and go to bed on Sat we go grocery shopping or he works on the car and then if he is not to tierd from what chores or errands we are doing then he may be in the mood. So our sex relationship has changed and I don't know how to handle it.
I have mentioned the Goat Weed but he said buy it but nothing more about it and I don't know anything about it, if he can take it with viagra or all by itself.

Do you work at a job outside your home or do stuff with friends?

Personally if my partner nagged about our sex life he would have less of a sex life than he had before the nagging started.

If he is too tired for sex because of work could you get a job to help with the bills? If you are home all day (and I wouldn't have enough to do in my house, on my property to keep me busy day after day) perhaps you could find something else to occupy some of your time, as WG says.

If you are depressed have you talked to a Physician?

No I am a stay at home wife, I go to school online, though we have discussed about me looking for a part time job now to help with the bills. I feel I get no help raising my son, his step son (who is out of control), we discussed that he will go to job corp next year but neighter one of us go out at all. He goes to work comes home at 7 p.m. and goes to bed at 8 p.m. Very seldom has he come home at 6 p.m. but it has happened. On Thursday he goes out of town and delivers supplies comes home late Friday night around 9 p.m. Sat he is working on the truck or we are spending the morning to noon time grocery shopping. Then he takes a 2 hour nap. If he is in the mood we will have sex. I am not much for getting out and meeting people, I have tried church groups but the people here are WAY different from me, when I tell them that I obey my husband they frown on me, when I tell them that I compermise with him they frown on me, when they tell me I should peirce my ears or cut my hair some I tell them the Bible says women are not suppose to they frown on me, so I don't fit in. They go out to eat all the time and we cannot afford it, my husband and I are finically struggling. Even if we did have some money we do believe in putting away for a rainy day because the trucks do tend to break down or someone is always sick and we don't have insurance.

I think it would do wonders for yourself esteem and for your relationship with your husband if you got a part-time job, maybe shelving books at the library or some other job that gets you out of the house and gives you a paycheck, even a small one. Or how about volunteering at the library or at an animal shelter or hospital or nursing home? Remember, we want to get your out of the house and give you some interesting things to do so you have stories to tell and new adventures!

I have not worked since 2007, I have applied just no one has responded to my applications, you are right I might have to volunteer in order to get another job, so that I can get my first job. I graduate in a year and will have to do internship for at least 6 months in order to get a job. I am getting a Medical Adminastration Degree. My husbands first reaction was when I told him I was going to work was I would not be home when he was here. I told him it would be part time and I told him that when we are home I did not feel we had much of a realationship, he comes home, eats and goes to bed, I understand he is tierd, on Sat if he is not working on the truck then we are going grocery shopping then he is taking a 2 hr nap, though we play around now and then what kind of relationship do you feel we have? His reply was he loved me and he doesn't want us to be apart or lose me. I told him I was not going nowhere just working 20-30 hours bringing in some extra money to help with some bills I would be home when he got home to cook the meals, keep the house clean and take care of our dog. He said OK and the conversation was over.

What is a medical administration degree? What does it train you to do?

Medical Admin. Is working in a doctor's office or hospital, they answer phone, file, billing, coding, trascriping, handling Insurance claims, set appointments.

I really don't care to do the billing, coding, trascriping, handling Insurance claims. I use to be an Office Admin assist. I like the answer phone, file, handled mail and would not mind setting up appointments. I enjoyed dealing with the public because I also use to work as a seasonal job for Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny as a Manager for 2 years, I handled thousands of dollars as well as customers and their compalints or conserners; worked with children doing this job.
I lost my job after the Sept 11th and looked for a year I worked in the school distric for 7 years as a cook to support my children still looking for a job but most jobs wanted me to go back to school and learn seval languages if not at least spanish and I had a hard time learning it from my oldest son so I and coworkers so I found it hard to get a job because they wanted Bi ligual. Medical fields are not requiring that, their ads don't read that. I like the medical field because I am a health freek, I eat health, feed my family healthy food and love to walk when I can.

Good for you - it's a tough economy and you're doing what it takes to get a job.

I'm in the legal field, always thought maybe medical but am happy where I am.

I put in 7 applications yesterday, they said they would look over them and get back with me, so all I can do is wait on those, but I look every day and if I see something close to home I fill out an application.

I have a question, don't know much about this other than the research I have done on the internet. Nor does my husband know much about it either, he is just going by what I have found. We only talked about it once and he said buy it and that is it.
Horney Goat Weed that is sold online and at GNC stores, I was told that it makes a person Horney that is why they call it that but after contacting a drugs.com they wrote this:

It may improve blood flow which, in turn, will improve sexual function and may help a man gain an erection. It also contains phytoestrogens that might reduce bone loss in postmenopausal women. A specific extract of horny goat weed containing phytoestrogens appears to be safe when used for up to 2 years. However, some types of horny goat weed do not seem to be safe when used for a long period or in high doses. Long-term use of these forms of horny goat weed might cause dizziness, vomiting, dry mouth, thirst, and nosebleed. Taking large amounts of horny goat weed might cause spasms and severe breathing problems. You never want to use dietary supplements and herbs with pharmaceuticals without a Drs approval as some herbs, in combination with pharmaceutical drugs, can be dangerous.

I looked up the side effects and they are right about the side effects after you take it for 2 years it can cause dizziness, vomiting, dry mouth, thirst, and nosebleeds.

So now I don't understand why they call Horny Goat weed if it does not do that, and I was told you cannot take that product with viagra. You take one or the other, choose. Viagra is not doing its job my husband says to turn him on anymore, just to get him hard. I told him he needs to go back to the doctor but he says all the pills are pretty much the same as viagra, none will turn you on.

Is that true?

I don't know any of this, I don't understand ED other than the fact he is not in the mood anymore and I know I may go through that one day when I am old or again I may never go through it, some of my family died being sexually active.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MLQ0123

Viagra is not doing its job my husband says to turn him on anymore, just to get him hard.

---

I don't think Viagra is a magic pill to make a guy hard. Have you read up on its effects and how to use it properly?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MLQ0123

So now I dont understand why they call Horny Goat weed if it does not do that, and I was told you cannot take that product with viagra. You take one or the other, choose. Viagra is not doing its job my husband says to turn him on anymore, just to get him hard. I told him he needs to go back to the doctor but he says all the pills are pretty much the same as viagra, none will turn you on.

Is that true?

I dont know any of this, I dont understand ED other than the fact he is not in the mood anymore and I know I may go through that one day when I am old or again I may never go through it, some of my family died being sexually active.

---

As you have found out medications (herbal and pharmaceutical) make it possible to get an erection. They primarily act on the circulatory system increasing blood flow. They do not work on hormones or psychological issues. In other words, the pills and horny goat weed make it possible to get an erection if there is arousal.

What he needs to look into is why he is not getting aroused. First place to start would be having his testosterone level checked. In the meantime, look at other factors such as stress, pressure to have sex, exhaustion, other medical conditions, etc.

Also look at how you have been behaving and reacting. He tries playing and showing you affection and you reject him because you are feeling depressed. So he then reacts negatively to the rejection and you get more depressed. That is a downward spiral affecting both of you.

One thing I think you need to do is to stop looking to him for validation of how sexy or attractive you are. You have to believe it before anything he says or does will have any affect. What can you do to feel sexy and beautiful to yourself?

I think you both need to learn how to be comfortable with each other. Relaxing and sharing non-sexual intimacy can help strengthen the bond you have so that you can talk about the issues without adding more stress.

Something else to try is sharing fantasies. It can help you relax and get your thoughts in the same place while tuning out the rest of the daily distractions.

Why do "they" call it Horny Goat Weed and sell it to help with ED?

Because if they called it, for example, "Goat Run Over By a Bus Weed" it wouldn't sell.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Why do "they" call it Horny Goat Weed and sell it to help with ED?

Because if they called it, for example, "Goat Run Over By a Bus Weed" it wouldn't sell.

---

Or... Horny Bunny Weed. Horny Stag Weed?

Quote:

---

My husband still tries to play around with me, wrastle, joke with me but I am down & depressed because I have so much on my mind about how to handle this I dont feel attractive (he is not the type of guy to tell you look great or brag on you or me that is, he said he use to be honest to ex girlfriends about their clothes and it would upset them when they liked something and he thought it didnt, he says I should know that I look beautiful because that is why he married me). I get down I am just not in the mood to play, when you are stressed you are not in the mood to play.

---

A couple that cannot talk or play together and compliment/reassure each other will never be in the mood to make love until they get their minds together.

Until you understand each other and not just be totally isolated room mates, forget the sex. Forget the gimmicks and aids until you can learn about each other and obviously that hasn't happened.

I mean you can't even have fun together. Sex I think is the least of your problems, seems to me, as other areas of the relationship seems to be really lousy. Like most who see the lack of sex as the main issue, they never look at other more obvious signs of disconnection.

Learn each others language so you can talk, listen, and make adjustment to your lives so some quality time can bring your minds to the same place and simply let your bodies follow. Bet you have no clue what the affects of driving a truck for a living and the financial stresses of working hard to barely get by have on a guy.

And you need some friends to talk to. Real people to interact with. Volunteer until you get a job.

Other than it can raise your blood pressure he knows the side effects he has been taking it long before he met me he said, I think he said 2 years before he met me. So that would mean 4 years now. It does say if it does not seem to work for you see a doctor but he won't go says he does not have the time.

Or insurance it seems to pay for it. You still have to do for YOURSELF, because that's all you have control over.