I'm an extremely overly jealous boyfriend, and I know that for a fact. My girlfriend is always talking to this guy who doesn't care at all that we are dating, and I told her that I trust her but I don't trust him. We've broken up before and he was her fallback boy and they made out while we were broken up, and she told me this was just because she was feeling sad and needed someone there when we got back together. But even now she continues to hang out with him and I've talked to her about it and told her that I don't want her hanging out with him because I'm just completely uncomfortable with him being around. She used to sneak out and hang with him at night (we're both 18 and still live with our parents till we move out for college) but thankfully she'd tell me when it was happening, and I asked her to tell me when he came over but recently she hasn't. Is it because I've been getting to mad lately? Every time she tells me that he's over I just kind of mope around and I've read back on my text and you can clearly see that I'm upset about it and really don't like him but should I just trust her?

Also we've been dating for 3 years and we love each other very much ( I know people say that kids don't know true love and this is going to sound like stupid movie crap but I know that I love her) and I can't stand it when she hangs out with another guy alone in general. She confronted me saying I was controlling and I agreed with her because I wouldn't even let her talk to him at one point and time, so I let her do as she pleases but I'm still uncomfortable with her being around him. Am I in the wrong for not trusting her or is she wrong for hanging with him even though it's clear he's trying to date her even though he know's we're dating? I've told her multiple times that I'm tired of it and she says she see's where I'm coming from, but what do I do? Also he'll buy her crap like a whole lot of Nightmare Before Christmas (She is a very big Tim Burton fan) stuff and I've never really seen her do anything about the gifts, I don't have a job at the moment so I can't really afford much to get her, but I always spend my money that I do get to take her out and to buy her things, so should I let her have the gifts he gives her or should she not accept them?

Oh dear! As far as jealousy is concerned, you are not jealous but insecure. People get jealous, that's common but this is more than that. Every one deserve space in the relationship. Your girlfriend and you also. But she's been already been intimate with this guy. And as you said she still hang out with him. This guy buys gifts for her and she seems pretty happy. I think it's not wrong to hang out with friends but why this guy? He seems to have more than friendly intentions for her. So your concern is fine. I think you should talk to your girlfriend clearly about this particular person. She should not hanging out with him often. As fas as other guys are concerned you should give her space.
As far as gifts, it's her decision to accept or not gifts but that also proves her liking for him. You can not afford much gifting, that's OK. It seems this relationship based on give and take. If that's the real reason then you better leave her because she will choose better gift. Such person can not be trusted.

I'm wondering why you are still with this girl.
You can't tell her who she can accept a gift from or who to talk to, but I'm wondering why she is spending so much time with this guy knowing how you feel. She has no respect for your feelings.
Personally, I think you need to leave her alone. She is not worth the frustration. You are going to college and you don't need the stress of worrying about her and this guy she can't seem to stay away from.

Whenever someone asks 'should I let' him or her do something, it's pretty solid evidence of a pervasive problem of control.
Your young lives are too much in transition to be so possessive. If you are married, somewhat different rights about seeing men alone, depending on several factors. But never ever do you get the right to tell her who she can see or not see, talk to, accept gifts from.

I guess I should have been more clear on this, she doesn't always accept the gifts like if its expensive she doesn't take it she tells him to stop buying her stuff but he continues to, and every now and then she throws it away if its from him so I'm sorry for not going into detail on that

Well it's like she's known him for a little bit longer than she's known me and I understand why she doesn't want to let go of him as a friend because she says he's one of her best friends, also when she hangs out with him her mom is always there, she told me she has no intentions of hanging out with him alone because of what's happened before so I guess I'm feeling better there.

I'm still wondering why she is hanging out with him so much. How old is he?

I do agree with Homegirl, I'm just on a different track. You start 'I'm an extremely overly jealous boyfriend' and that needs addressing for your whole future, not just this girl. You are just much too young to be possessive and haven't even left for college yet. SO much is going to change for both of you. Then near the end you ask if you should 'let her have the gifts.' Clarifying that isn't the point; the point is that you used control words, and you are going to have to do some serious soul searching about your jealousy in general, or this will happen over and over, with other women. You 'let' or don't let children do things, not adults.

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to joypulv again.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I'm still wondering why she is hanging out with him so much. How old is he?

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he's 19 and they've been friends for about four years before when he wasn't trying to date her

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Originally Posted by joypulv

I do agree with Homegirl, I'm just on a different track. You start out 'I'm an extremely overly jealous boyfriend' and that needs addressing for your whole future, not just this girl. You are just much too young to be possessive and haven't even left for college yet. SO much is going to change for both of you. Then near the end you ask if you should 'let her have the gifts.' Clarifying that isn't the point; the point is that you used control words, and you are going to have to do some serious soul searching about your jealousy in general, or this will happen over and over, with other women. You 'let' or don't let children do things, not adults.

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I understand that I went off topic a lot, the title was meant for something different in which I kind of just rambled on about everything that was on my mind

Never mind guys but thanks for all the help, I listened in on a conversation they had and all they do is argue about how he wants to be there and she wants him to go home, I heard this last night and today and she didn't know I was there today

That's a relief, but still, work on curbing your jealousy for the future.

To make it simple, if the girl prefers expensive gifts, you better move on. In fact I don't see anything bad if the other guy trying to date her and impress her with gifts but the girl definitely know what she's doing.

I see it as a problem that if she does not want him around, she does not put her foot down and tell him to stay away. He knows she is dating you, he needs to stay away. I also see it as a problem that you are listening in on their conversation. Get a grip on your jealousy issue. That is not cool.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I see it as a problem that if she does not want him around, she does not put her foot down and tell him to stay away. He knows she is dating you, he needs to stay away. I also see it as a problem that you are listening in on their conversation. Get a grip on your jealousy issue. That is not cool.

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She put me on the phone so I could listen lol but yesterday she pocket dialed I didn't listen long just for a few seconds because I couldn't hear what she was saying then all I heard was arguing

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Originally Posted by joypulv

That's a relief, but still, work on curbing your jealousy for the future.

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Yeah I will thanks