I know what everyone is going to say, "don't hide your feelings it's unhealthy" but I'm a loner, and I write and draw my emotions to help me feel better. But whenever someone asks what's wrong, everything I've worked out on my own comes crashing down and it's just a long walk down memory lane. I don't want to exploit all the reasons I'm feeling depressed.
Some people on this thread know I'm pregnant, but no its not mood swings, I've had these issues before I was pregnant. I just want to know how I can hide it, I don't want my fiancé knowing I'm sad because when I have to explain it to him everything gets worse and I end up really depressed. I have a history of self harm, but it's been over a year since the last time I did it.
But recently whenever he notices something's wrong I get really depressed reliving the whole issue and I think about self harm. I fight the urge and I know I'm strong enough, but this is something I have to work out on my own, I need to hide my depression from him in order to work it out myself.
Please don't say talking will help. It never has, I've only ever been able to help myself through things.