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take my Salam. I have a question regarding pre-marriage affair issue. I have one muslim female friend who were is a relationship with a muslim guy. Both of them used to pray 5 times namaz, highly bemaintain halal & haram .Except their relationship, they don't do anything wrong. They also believe that this pre-marriage relation is not allowed as well as fair. That girl loves that boy & the main thing is she trusts him blindly. Though they are always afraid about this relationship issue and islamic rules which conflict on their mind. That girl prays to allah for pardon her for being in a affair and wants the blessing of allah so that she can marry that boy. That boy loves her from the very beginning. He promised her to be together forever. Even they kiss each other. But then they asked touba for that. After 6 moths relationship that boy went to abroad. Then he realized he had done great sin ny being in a pre-marriage affair. So for solving/ recovering that sin he left that girl. He breaks that love and relationship. That girl could not believe herself that he can leave her. She got trauma. Now she doesnot talk with anyone, even she doesnot get anything what's going around her.

Now my question: is that right what that boy have done? For purifying from sin what he did, is that not more sinful?

I am not a Muslim, but can't believe that any religion considers that this man becomes free from sin by abandoning the woman he supposedly loved and wanted to marry! His sin is that he lied.
Do you know this man? Would you say that he really believes that what he did is correct, or he just looking for an easy way out, or he won't marry a woman who had an affair, even if that affair was with him? Shame on him.

Yes, I know this guy personally. He is a proud muslim who believes that Allah is very merciful & he will forgive his followers for their bad deeds. So he makes touba in namaz. But he does not even try to know about the girl who was crying 24/7 & now she does not talk at all. Yes may be its an easy way out for him. But he puts all the blame on that girl.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

I am not a Muslim, but can't believe that any religion considers that this man becomes free from sin by abandoning the woman he supposedly loved and wanted to marry! His sin is that he lied.
Do you know this man? Would you say that he really believes that what he did is correct, or he just looking for an easy way out, or he won't marry a woman who had an affair, even if that affair was with him? Shame on him.

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He puts all the blame on her?? Double shame, triple shame!
I hope you can talk her into being angry at him instead of crying. It takes time to get to that stage. He obviously thinks very highly of himself. Who would want someone like that?
Does she have an imam (or do you) who might be understanding, and help her, or is this something a woman is afraid to ask for fear of being blamed by him too?
Is there nothing in Islam that allows a family to sue the man for dishonoring a woman?

Yes he blames on her that he is not happy to be in relationship considering religious facts. He tells her to be normal becoz even married couple get divorce. So its not a big deal to leave her after doing all those things. & that innocent girl still believes that he can't do this to her. She still trust him & trust the every words what he promised. She thinks that boy is now out of his own mind. He is not like that. He will be back.
Actually I live in different country. I don't know family of that boy. & almost nobody knows about this relationship. & that girls doesnot tell to anybody because other may consider that boy as a bay guy what she doesnot want. From her point of view he is still a angel.
I don't know if I should try to inform that boy's family or not?

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Originally Posted by joypulv

He puts all the blame on her??? Double shame, triple shame!
I hope you can talk her into being angry at him instead of crying. It takes time to get to that stage. He obviously thinks very highly of himself. Who would want someone like that?
Does she have an imam (or do you) who might be understanding, and help her, or is this something a woman is afraid to ask for fear of being blamed by him too?
Is there nothing in Islam that allows a family to sue the man for dishonoring a woman?

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'I don't know if I should try to inform that boy's family or not?'
Not a good idea... families usually protect their own.
I'm sorry you aren't there for her.
Could she visit you?

Hello Rahmaan,

I would suggest to talk to the girl to forget about this boy he lied to her he used her and now who knows what is he doing to other girls this is just an excuse that he is good muslim and does not want this poor girl, he did bad things to her and Allah will funish him and will not forgive him, I am praying for her and hope she come out of this drama, Thank

Yes that's another point that he is a very good boy who is praying 5 times prayer at mosque(from other's poin of view). So his family or others may not trust everything what he had done. And that girl is not in a such condition to go anywhere. I did call her thousand times to talk so she could be feel fresh. But she doesnot talk with anyone. Even her family don't know about all this things.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

'I dont know if I should try to inform that boy's family or not?'
Not a good idea... families usually protect their own.
I'm sorry you aren't there for her.
Could she visit you?

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That's what I am trying to tell her but she couldn't forget that for any single moment. & she thinks he will be change like before he was so good with her. She also consider that may be there is her fault in any way so that he is leaving her.

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Originally Posted by afaroo

Hello Rahmaan,

I would suggest to talk to the girl to forget about this boy he lied to her he used her and now who knows what is he doing to other girls this is just an excuse that he is good muslim and does not want this poor girl, he did bad things to her and Allah will funish him and will not forgive him, I hoping for the girl to come out of this drama, Thank

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That is called zina in islam and solution will be that they should get married with each other.