Hi, I'm jules and I'm 16. I've been noticing the way I act around my boy friends has changed since I turned 15. I try my best to uphold good abstinence values, however since I've gotten older guys ask me to do things with them and it makes it harder to say no. Though I have said no, I haven't done anything sexual (2 guys have asked me to do sexual things with them). The problem is I like it when they ask me to do things with them, it makes me feel hot and beautiful, confident, & important. With that being said when they asked me wich was over text message I lead them on saying I would and stuff, but when we got in person I stuck to my values and said no, these guys were older, one was 3 years older the other one was 2, IDE known the 1st one for a month and the 2nd I hadent seen in a year. My new boy friend I'm closer with because we've dated two other times when we were 8th graders and we were best buds before then. Him and his family are strong baptists like us and have good values, he really respects me and acts as if he wants 2 wait until marriage before any sort of sexual activity. Wich is good and takes pressure off . But part of me wants him to ask me for things, to ask to see my chest and stuff. I feel like a total whore even though I've never done anything. I don't know why I'm like this, I hope someone can explain and give me some tips. I hope no one had a bad opinion of me because of this.
Thanks

Your hormones are raging and so are theirs, so just because they ask you to do things that is no reason to feel confident or important.
Don't play games with these guys and don't play with matches if you don't want a fire.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Your hormones are raging and so are theirs, so just because they ask you to do things that is no reason to feel confident or important.
Don't play games with these guys and don't play with matches if you don't want a fire.

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thanks

This is normal. You're at an age where sexual urges are raging. The thing you don't yet understand, because you're young, is that the guys asking you to do sexual things, aren't asking because you're special, or because you're pretty, or even because you've got a great personality. They're just looking for any girl that's willing to put out.

The fact that your boyfriend doesn't ask you to do these things, that's special. He actually respects you. The other guys, well, if you gave in, they'd get their kicks and you'd likely never hear from them again, but your reputation after giving in, you'll definitely hear about, as will everyone else.

You can't take it back once you give it away, so keep respecting yourself, and stop teasing the boys.

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Originally Posted by Alty

This is normal. You're at an age where sexual urges are raging. The thing you don't yet understand, because you're young, is that the guys asking you to do sexual things, aren't asking because you're special, or because you're pretty, or even because you've got a great personality. They're just looking for any girl that's willing to put out.

The fact that your boyfriend doesn't ask you to do these things, that's special. He actually respects you. The other guys, well, if you gave in, they'd get their kicks and you'd likely never hear from them again, but your reputation after giving in, you'll definitely hear about, as will everyone else.

You can't take it back once you give it away, so keep respecting yourself, and stop teasing the boys.

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Thanks

Please don't lead the other guys on. It can lead to tragedy. It can also mean you lose your boyfriend. Do you care about him, and what this would do to him if he knew? Do you understand that his hormones are probably just like all the other guys? It's not fair to him. It's not even fair to the guys you are leading on.

Being a tease is empowering and wrong. I am a guy and hate a tease who gets you all horned up, but shuts you down. Yes we guys do get together behind your back and plot nasty, wicked rumors to pass around to other guys and the girls too.

Just wanted you to know the other side of it while you are feeling sexy, hot, beautiful, confident, and OLDER than you are.

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.

Tal, stop being brilliant. I have to spread the rep!

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Please don't lead the other guys on. It can lead to tragedy. It can also mean you lose your boyfriend. Do you care about him, and what this would do to him if he knew? Do you understand that his hormones are probably just like all the other guys? It's not fair to him. It's not even fair to the guys you are leading on.

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Well I wasent doing it while I was with dating this guy, those incesdents happened long before I was with him. And I told him about that guys had asked me for things and I mentioned I was tempted, I haven't lead this guy on and I'm not a two timer.

If you have learned to control your impulses in the last year then that's growth, even if you do still have that naughty side.