Ask Me Help Desk - Job offer in nyc, worried about anxiety

Hello Everyone,

I moved to Fort Lauderdale from Manhattan two years ago. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for over 15 years (I am 30 years old now). I grew up in an emotionally, verbally and at times physically abusive home; this family still lives in NY. I love South Florida, and (almost!) everything about it. The people I have met here have been wonderful. Since moving to FL, I have experienced no panic attacks (I used to have two or three a month), have increased energy, a positive outlook on life, and have even stopped taking my antidepressants. However, salaries here in FL aren't much, and I have significant student loans from graduate school. I am getting by OK with what I am making, but I'd really like to pay off my loans to have that monkey off my back. Through working with an employment agency, I received a job offer in New York three days ago, for almost twice as much as I am making now. Although initially very excited, once I had a chance to really think about things, I am worried that being around my family, the hectic pace of New York, and the generally rude and uncivilized nature of NYC will undo all of the wonderful progress I have made. If I stay here, I will be able to maintain, but will not be able to pay off my loans for at least 10 or 15 years. If I take the NY job, I will be able to pay off my loans in three years, as long as I live frugally and no unexpected events pop up that wipe me out financially. I'd appreciate any thoughts people may have about my situation and concerns. Thank you.

My choice would be to stay where you are and continue to look locally for a better job. If you are worried about student loans, can you pick up a second job where you live?

I'm with teacherjenn. Stay in FL. I'm from NYS and believe you would lose out personally with a move back up there.

I feel as you two do, but just to make sure your opinion does not change---I did not mention that when I say significant student loans, I am not kidding. I owe a little less than $180K (Masters and PhD programs at a private university). My student loan payments are $1500 a month, which is a mortgage payment down here in FL. Part of me feels weak and childlike for not jumping at the much higher paying job. Not wanting to deal with rude people and a crazy family seems like a bad reason to be paying such a large debt for so long when I do not have to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by meltedpantyhose

I feel as you two do, but just to make sure your opinion does not change---I did not mention that when I say significant student loans, I am not kidding. I owe a little less than $180K (Masters and PhD programs at a private university). My student loan payments are $1500 a month, which is a mortgage payment down here in FL. Part of me feels weak and childlike for not jumping at the much higher paying job. Not wanting to deal with rude people and a crazy family seems like a bad reason to be paying such a large debt for so long when I do not have to.

I'm a teacher, so obviously I do not care about a higher paying job. I'd rather have a job I love, than work in another field. If you like where you live, and enjoy your job, you'll pay the loans off eventually. Can you pick up some extra work somewhere close by?

Thanks Jenn, I do not feel as spineless now lol! Although it's not so much about loving what I do as much as it is loving where I live, my environment, the people in it, and the peace I have in my life. Peace I never thought was possible, given the chaos I grew up in. However, I still want to be responsible financially, as I want to have a family in the near future, and an extra $1500 going out the door every month is a roadblock. My parents own quite a bit of real estate in NY and have offered to allow me to live in one of their properties if I come back to NY when I get married (my BF and I are planning on getting hitched in the next year or two). However, they are pretty dysfunctional, and I would not want my children around the insanity that is my family. That and, my parents are big fans of using money as leverage. Once I became financially independent, they did not know how to relate to me. My parents have no idea how a mutually respectful and beneficial relationship works--- they only know "people do what we want when we want them to because we hold the purse strings, and we make life very hard for those who do not fall in line." As attractive as it is to my bank account, if I took them up on the offer of a free house, I could see them barging in whenever they felt like, threatening to sell the house from underneath me if I didn't do what they wanted, etc.

I digress, my apologies...

Anyway,I have not looked at extra work, but it may be a little difficult with my present job. My hours are pretty long as it is, and I have a dog that I'd feel like a jerk leaving alone all day and all night. Your suggestion has got my wheels turning about perhaps finding a second job where I can work from home. Time to do some research!

Quote:

Originally Posted by meltedpantyhose

Your suggestion has got my wheels turning about perhaps finding a second job where I can work from home. Time to do some research!

You're a good writer. How about editing papers/theses/dissertations for students at colleges and universities? It can all be done via computer/email/paypal and can pay well -- $10+ a page (and you can work on a sliding scale).

Pick up an editing class or two at your local community college (on site or online) or at ed2go dot com (cheaper when you sign up for it via your community college).

Quote:

Originally Posted by meltedpantyhose

Thanks Jenn, I do not feel as spineless now lol! Although it's not so much about loving what I do as much as it is loving where I live, my environment, the people in it, and the peace I have in my life. Peace I never thought was possible, given the chaos I grew up in. However, I still want to be responsible financially, as I want to have a family in the near future, and an extra $1500 going out the door every month is a roadblock. My parents own quite a bit of real estate in NY and have offered to allow me to live in one of their properties if I come back to NY when I get married (my BF and I are planning on getting hitched in the next year or two). However, they are pretty dysfunctional, and I would not want my children around the insanity that is my family. That and, my parents are big fans of using money as leverage. Once I became financially independent, they did not know how to relate to me. My parents have no idea how a mutually respectful and beneficial relationship works--- they only know "people do what we want when we want them to because we hold the purse strings, and we make life very hard for those who do not fall in line." As attractive as it is to my bank account, if I took them up on the offer of a free house, I could see them barging in whenever they felt like, threatening to sell the house from underneath me if I didn't do what they wanted, etc.

I digress, my apologies...

Anyway,I have not looked at extra work, but it may be a little difficult with my present job. my hours are pretty long as it is, and I have a dog that I'd feel like a jerk leaving alone all day and all night. Your suggestion has got my wheels turning about perhaps finding a second job where I can work from home. Time to do some research!

You are absolutely on the right track! We see so many people on this site with obtrusive parents, yet they live in a home provided by them. Stay where you are and definitely find a way to work from home. Wondergirl had a great idea! Another one is to be a test proctor. We've all taken tests that need proctors, so that's an idea. Good luck and let us know what you find!