I don't know what to do anymore. I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. He's my first love and I don't know what to do.

I clicked on his Facebook last night while playing on his iPhone and a message came up between him and a girl it said.

Girl: we could meet tomorrow about 10ish that give us 45 minutes befor we have to go to work

My boyfriend: ya that sounds goood did you get my message?

Girl: what message?

My boyfriend: I said hey babe

Girl: I seen it but I think we should take it slow because I'm seeing another guy too

My boyfriend: alright that's fine

I just don't know what to do I saw this and my heart just stopped. I woke up this morning with him and it hit me twice as hard, so I confronted him and he said that he calls all of his girl friends babe. Which is bull because he's never called a friend babe before.

All I've been is faithfull for three years now and I never get anything back in return. Please help.

-antwanette

What do you want us to tell you? Your boyfriend is cheating on you. The text conversation is clear - he wants to hook up, she's slowing things down because they aren't exclusive. He's not talking to her as a friend, and if she was just a friend, she would not be reiterating boundaries about seeing other men.

He's not loyal to you.

We would do a disservice to you to tell you to stay. Consider that the person you are in love with is in part based on a fraud. You thought he was into you enough that he was not interested in other girls. That is not the case. He's been your boyfriend for three years and you're not married. It sounds like you live together and you're apparently not engaged.

So, there's no commitment on his side. How much time are you willing to give a guy who's trying to arrange to sleep with other girls? How many questions do you need to ask now that you know the fact - he's seeing other women.

Love is not this hard. When you are really in love with a person who really loves you back, you'll look back at this relationship and wonder how you thought at all that you were in love. Many of us get burned in relationships - most of us do. This is just a tough life experience. You can walk away and start fresh with a better man, or you can stay and turn a bad relationship of 3 years into a bad relationship of 4 or more years. I think you should cut your losses and dump the guy - once a cheater, always a cheater.

Talk to him directly, see if he admits the fact. If he lies, break up with him. If he apologise and ask for another chance, give him one. But he does it again, you must through him out of you r life.

I did talk to him he said it was a mistake and that he never did anything with her and that I have nothing to worry about

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Originally Posted by antwanette17

I did talk to him he said it was a mistake and that he never did anything with her and that I have nothing to worry about

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Ask him where he's meeting her, and if you can tag along. If this was a "mistake" then there's no reason why you can't meet her. He agreed to meet up with her, so what mistake did he make?

In other words, of course he's going to say "it was a mistake", of course he's not going to admit to cheating.

Either you love him enough and are blind enough, don't care enough about yourself, to stick around and turn your back on his indiscretions, or you grow a pair and leave.

The fact that you caught making plans with someone else, and the texts he sent are very clear, and he brushed it aside, speaks volumes. Do you have to catch him in bed with someone else before you wake up?

He's cheating on you... clearly he is.

But... you are so "madly in love with him" that you are going to put up with it. You came here looking for help, but be honest... you're not going to do anything that you're told. He will just keep cheating because nothing will happen to him when he does. You will believe his lies and you won't break up with him so this will give him license to keep doing it.

I have seen this too many times.

Just because he is your first love doesn't mean you have to play dumb to a lying cheater. Yeah its sucks big time to be cheated on whether it's the first love or the 50th. But you can remove yourself from this one and solve the lying cheating problem. I doubt you can trust him going forward anyway.

Nobody deserves that.