Ask Me Help Desk - Ordered hair follicle test

I have been ordered to take a hair follicle test for court.I smoked marijuana for about 8 months probably 3 years ago almost four and then I cleaned myself up for about 2 and 1/2 years or so(not sure exact dates). I slipped and smoked for about 2 1/2 months(one hit a night),that was in the middle of April and it is now the beginning of March the following year.Istopped in June so I think it's been about 8 months or so give or take.can I still fail a hair follicle test? And also my boyfriend stopped in July and took one hit behind my back in the very beginning of October.he only has about an inch tops of hair on his head so I think he might have to give body hair.If they test his body hair is he going to fail since body hair takes longer to grow than hair on the head?please help

It's hard to follow your post but are you saying you haven't smoked pot for 8 months? My understanding is that a hair follicle test will show clean after 6 months clean. You should test clean if you are being honest.

If your boyfriend smoked more recently than the last 6 months he will likely fail.

That said, it's not just a plain pass or fail. It can discern to some degree the level of drug use so if he slipped once over a long period, it may not be a strong result, though they are likely to detect it.

Since you and your boyfriend are both being tested related to a family law matter? Are you involved in custody issues for a child?

I would ask you this - is it worth it? Really think about it before you use drugs again, or stay with a man who uses drugs - is it worth your relationship with your child?

When I worked for a family law firm, I never did understand parents who knew they were in a volitile situation with their child's other parent, but took risks like doing drugs, being with abusive men or general goofball people who made them look bad, got DUIs, got fired from jobs for dumb behaviors - consider everything you do as admissible in court. Everything. Every unlawful or dumb thing can stand between you and your child, or you and whatever it is you're trying to accomplish in court.

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to dontknownuthin again.

Wonderful post. Have to spread the rep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

It's hard to follow your post but are you saying you haven't smoked pot for 8 months? My understanding is that a hair follicle test will show clean after 6 months clean. You should test clean if you are being honest.
If your boyfriend smoked more recently than the last 6 months he will likely fail.

That said, it's not just a plain pass or fail. It can discern to some degree the level of drug use so if he slipped once over a long period of time, it may not be a strong result, though they are likely to detect it.

Since you and your boyfriend are both being tested related to a family law matter? Are you involved in custody issues for a child?

I would ask you this - is it worth it? Really think about it before you use drugs again, or stay with a man who uses drugs - is it worth your relationship with your child?

When I worked for a family law firm, I never did understand parents who knew they were in a volitile situation with their child's other parent, but took risks like doing drugs, being with abusive men or general goofball people who made them look bad, got DUIs, got fired from jobs for dumb behaviors - consider everything you do as admissable in court. Everything. Every unlawful or dumb thing can stand between you and your child, or you and whatever it is you're trying to accomplish in court.

I am being entirely honest.I only smoked one other period in my life and it was before my child came along for the time I stated above.I stopped because I found I was having a child.yes I screwed up for a couple of months and I understand that so I stopped again.and at the time there wasn't a 'volitile' situation at all.this is mainly ordered for the other party not primarily mine but when one is tested both pretty much are.I know I probably ed up,don't rub it in my face.my boyfriend only smoked one hit once in Oct between July to now and I read elsewhere that one use might not be enough to yield a positive result (I believe drbill on this site said so too).he is not abusive or a drinker, he stopped for me for the sake of my child.I was just wondering with the length of my hair how far it would go back (I've heard different responses) and could his test come back negative on a body hair test after 6 or so months of sobriety.

I'm not trying to rub anything in your face. Incidentally, when you use profanity on this site, it gets deleted when you post and can mess up what you meant to say, so keep the language clean to be understood.

What I am trying to do is get you to understand that when you go before the judge on these matters, you may expect to explain all the gray areas and details of your story so they will understand nuances like how much or little you smoked, how long ago it was, how much you understand it was a mistake and so on. I've spent hundreds of hours in family court rooms for my work and can tell you that they don't take the time - they can't.

Judges are people and they've seen it all. Like the rest of us, they do get first impressions of people and do get a sense of what a person's life is about based on those first impressions. So, how you come off does matter.

You are in a situation where you had a child, apparently out of wedlock, with a guy who has enough of a drug issue that it's an issue in your custody proceedings. This makes BOTH of you look bad because, of course, the judge is aware that when a guy does drugs, his girlfriend normally knows that. You've broken up and haven't been able to come to terms and cooperate like adults to make a plan for your child. That doesn't look good for either of you, either. Now you're with another guy, and your own drug use and this guy's drug use have come into the proceedings as an issue, as well. Since the court usually can't drag someone into proceedings if they don't live in the home where the child is going to be or currently resides, I'm assuming you live with the new drug-addicted boyfriend, still not married.

This gives an image of you that is not very flattering. Unplanned pregnancy, deadbeat drug-doing boyfriends, instability in your child's parenting and home situation - none of this is good. I'm pointing this out because you need to make a better presentation to the court. If your boyfriend is going to fail this test, you need to ask him to move out. Otherwise, you're chosing the desire to live with him over the desire to have custody of your child. You should not allow anyone to ever use any drugs around your child, and ideally they shouldn't drink or smoke around her, either.

Also concerning is that if you explained away your own drug use in court the way you did above, it would look like you're not taking responsibility and do not understand that while you were risking pregnancy with someone you were not married to, and while you actually were pregnant, you were using illegal drugs. You stopped when you learned you were pregnant. An attitude of, "well, I know I messed up but you don't have to rub my face in it" comes off pretty sophomoric. You don't have to impress me, but again, you need to make a certain impression on a judge.

These judges have seen and heard it all before and what they will expect of you will be more unplanned pregnancies with more guys who are doing drugs, more instability in your home for your children financially and otherwise. They will envision arguing and drama and foolishness. You need to give them something positive to focus on instead. Are you taking classes? Working for a promotion? Getting an apartment for just you and your child, no boyfriends staying over night? Are you getting counseling to figure out why you choose bad relationships? Are you exploring why you ever did drugs in the first place?

You owe no answers to me, of course. I would just suggest you give some thought to what kind of life your child deserves long term, and how to provide it. And, incidentally, they don't automatically order both parties to take drug tests, and certainly don't drag boyfriends or girlfriends into the testing unless there's reason to believe they are doing drugs. The fact this has been ordered indicates the judge is concerned about your fitness to parent, so take that seriously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

I'm not trying to rub anything in your face. Incidentally, when you use profanity on this site, it gets deleted when you post and can mess up what you meant to say, so keep the language clean to be understood.

What I am trying to do is get you to understand that when you go before the judge on these matters, you may expect to explain all the gray areas and details of your story so they will understand nuances like how much or little you smoked, how long ago it was, how much you understand it was a mistake and so on. I've spent hundreds of hours in family court rooms for my work and can tell you that they don't take the time - they can't.

Judges are people and they've seen it all. Like the rest of us, they do get first impressions of people and do get a sense of what a person's life is about based on those first impressions. So, how you come off does matter.

You are in a situation where you had a child, apparently out of wedlock, with a guy who has enough of a drug issue that it's an issue in your custody procedings. This makes BOTH of you look bad because, of course, the judge is aware that when a guy does drugs, his girlfriend normally knows that. You've broken up and haven't been able to come to terms and cooperate like adults to make a plan for your child. That doesn't look good for either of you, either. Now you're with another guy, and your own drug use and this guy's drug use have come into the procedings as an issue, as well. Since the court usually can't drag someone into procedings if they don't live in the home where the child is going to be or currently resides, I'm assuming you live with the new drug-addicted boyfriend, still not married.

This gives an image of you that is not very flattering. Unplanned pregnancy, deadbeat drug-doing boyfriends, instability in your child's parenting and home situation - none of this is good. I'm pointing this out because you need to make a better presentation to the court. If your boyfriend is going to fail this test, you need to ask him to move out. Otherwise, you're chosing the desire to live with him over the desire to have custody of your child. You should not allow anyone to ever use any drugs around your child, and ideally they shouldn't drink or smoke around her, either.

Also concerning is that if you explained away your own drug use in court the way you did above, it would look like you're not taking responsibility and do not understand that while you were risking pregnancy with someone you were not married to, and while you actually were pregnant, you were using illegal drugs. You stopped when you learned you were pregnant. An attitude of, "well, I know I messed up but you don't have to rub my face in it" comes off pretty sophomoric. You don't have to impress me, but again, you need to make a certain impression on a judge.

These judges have seen and heard it all before and what they will expect of you will be more unplanned pregnancies with more guys who are doing drugs, more instability in your home for your children financially and otherwise. They will envision arguing and drama and foolishness. You need to give them something positive to focus on instead. Are you taking classes? Working for a promotion? Getting an apartment for just you and your child, no boyfriends staying over night? Are you getting counseling to figure out why you choose bad relationships? Are you exploring why you ever did drugs in the first place?

You owe no answers to me, of course. I would just suggest you give some thought to what kind of life your child deserves long term, and how to provide it. And, incidentally, they don't automatically order both parties to take drug tests, and certainly don't drag boyfriends or girlfriends into the testing unless there's reason to believe they are doing drugs. The fact this has been ordered indicates the judge is concerned about your fitness to parent, so take that seriously.

The boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time and talked about marriage.other than that it was just my ex and I was engaged to him for many years but he wouldn't hold a job and was unfaithful.ironically the child was planned because we were engaged and set to be married with a house and everything for a couple of years.I am financially set and stable with a good job and my boyfriend owns the home.there isn't any suspicion on me or custody rather the ex drew suspicion towards himself through gal.nothing has been ordered but I have been told what's in store for opposing party and thought he would demand one for me to be fair.I didn't know they couldn't order boyfriend either just figured it would happen. Nothing occurred while child was present(the relapse happened after a car accident then my wisdom teeth were pulled and my sister and ex watched the child).the timeframe was from middle April to about mid May or so.two weeks down from my accident then 2 to 2 1/2 weeks for teeth since I would be on pain meds for this time.(and I know none of this makes any difference) I overestimated the time to allow some window for error.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadelynn36

The boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time and talked about marriage.other than that it was just my ex and I was engaged to him for many years but he wouldn't hold a job and was unfaithful.ironically the child was planned because we were engaged and set to be married with a house and everything for a couple of years.I am financially set and stable with a good job and my boyfriend owns the home.there isn't any suspicion on me or custody rather the ex drew suspicion towards himself through gal.nothing has been ordered but I have been told what's in store for opposing party and thought he would demand one for me to be fair.I didn't know they couldn't order bf either just figured it would happen. nothing occurred while child was present(the relapse happened after a car accident then my wisdom teeth were pulled and my sister and ex watched the child).the timeframe was from middle April to about mid May or so.two weeks down from my accident then 2 to 2 1/2 weeks for teeth since I would be on pain meds for this time period.(and I know none of this makes any difference) I overestimated the time to allow some window for error.

And my view is not solely "I messed up don't rub it in my face".I just don't need to be reminded of my mistakes and judged by somebody who does not know the whole story.everything I have provided to the court has been very open.everything asked for I provided.I just came for answers not to be judged.