In April 2010, my wife told me it was over. She left, no forwarding address. That July, I was served with divorce papers. In the papers, she refused to reveall where she was living. We owned a home together. That winter, she asked for some more things she left there-she gave me a specific list. I gathered everything of hers, but she didn't come to pick any of it up until the summertime.

The mortgage company has been looking for her; they've continued to send requests for information, or called me, looking for her. I tried to work with the mortgage company, but without my wife's consent, I couldn't do anything. I moved out of the house in April-I figured I'd let the bank have it.

On New Year's Day this year (2013), she contacted me. Suddenly she wanted to short sell the house. I've got the house under contract now (no thanks to her), but about a month ago, I received a letter from the county-our divorce was in danger of being thrown out because nothing was done for nearly 3 years! I sent her a copy of the paperwork; she shrugged.

We have not lived together in nearly three years. Now she's telling me that the divorce won't be finalized until the house is out of her name! I get the feeling that she will not sign paperwork unless that is done-can I get divorced on the grounds of actual desertion? We live in Pennsylvania.

I'd hire a Lawyer... now.. and make sure you have no cash or other liquid assets that remain with her name on it that she can abscond with during this period.

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... That July, I was served with divorce papers. In the papers, she refused to reveall where she was living.. . The mortgage company has been looking for her; they've continued to send requests for information, or called me, looking for her. I tried to work with the mortgage company, but without my wife's consent, I couldn't do anything.. .

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Sure you could have. You could have contacted her lawyer. Or are you telling us that she represented herself in the divorce while not giving a mailing address? I don't think that's possible under any court procedure I have ever heard of.

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... Suddenly she wanted to short sell the house. I've got the house under contract now (no thanks to her), but about a month ago, I received a letter from the county-our divorce was in danger of being thrown out because nothing was done for nearly 3 years! I sent her a copy of the paperwork; she shrugged.
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How did you contract to sell it without her signing the contract?

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... Now she's telling me that the divorce won't be finalized until the house is out of her name! I get the feeling that she will not sign paperwork unless that is done-can I get divorced on the grounds of actual desertion? We live in Pennsylvania.

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I'm fairly certain that the grounds for divorce (i.e.: irreconciliable differences, desertion, etc.) have not bearing on what must be in the final divorce decree regarding division of property and debts.

What she appears to be telling you is that a stipulated divorce won't happen without that. It's called a "dissolution" in some states. You can still go through with a divorce though. Simply ask the court for a trial date.

Have you had an attorney at all during this time? In this situation you have to make a reasonable effort to find and notice the individual if you are petitioning the court to act on your behalf, but if they can't be found through reasonable efforts, ultimately you can usually publish notice and if the other party doesn't come to court, the court will enter a default order in their absence. If they have an attorney, you notice them through the attorney.

What I don't understand is that you seem to have some contact with her but no means to reach her? Does she have a lawyer? Do you?

@AK lawyer:

I stupidly sent the copies of my divorce paperwork into the mortgage company, thinking that they'd work with me. I have managed to get another copy of them since. I couldn't afford a lawyer-she was the main wage earner during our marriage. She did hire a lawyer. I don't have the money to hire a divorce attorney now.

Once she contacted me about selling the house, I've found an office that specifically handles short sales. Everything is being done separately, so she did also sign the contract.

I'll ask the court for a date, but will I need to hire a lawyer? Currently, I don't really have the money to do that, but I guess I'll have to. Thanks for your advice.

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Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Have you had an attorney at all during this time? In this situation you have to make a reasonable effort to find and notice the individual if you are petitioning the court to act on your behalf, but if they can't be found through reasonable efforts, ultimately you can usually publish notice and if the other party doesn't come to court, the court will enter a default order in their absence. If they have an attorney, you notice them through the attorney.

What I don't understand is that you seem to have some contact with her but no means to reach her? Does she have a lawyer? Do you?

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No, I haven't had an attorney-I think I figured that if she wanted one, I'd just sign some paperwork and be done with it. She does have an attorney though, and I'm not sure that I want to face her attorney in court.

Somehow, she contacted me through Facebook-and neither of us changed our email addresses. I guess she picked up my phone number from there (until I reset the privacy on my FB account). We text messages regarding the house. Guess she's forced me to hire an attorney that I really can't afford. Thank you for your advice.

If she was the primary wage earner.. you are entitled to Alimony.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

If she was the primary wage earner..you are entitled to Alimony.

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Also, some states have provision for requiring the "breadwinner" to pay "suit money" to enable the other spouse to hire a lawyer.