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-   -   Gf wants to move for the lifestyle. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=736477)

  • Feb 27, 2013, 07:39 AM
    bdoran
    Gf wants to move for the lifestyle.
    We been together for 5 years and live together in my house for 9 months. We currntly live in Boston. She wants me to sell my house which I have only lived in for 9 months, and quit my job, that I been working for 4 years to move to Idaho to live the outdoor lifestyle. I love outdoor New England has it all. But my family friends, job, and home is here.

    She has had part time jobs her whole life, and she still doesn't know what she wants to do. I don't see it happening because I see the risk. To throw away a secure job, and perfect home for a lifestyle you may not be able to live.

    ...Merged Threads...
  • Feb 27, 2013, 07:45 AM
    J_9
    Well, that's a recipe for disaster. I certainly wouldn't do that if I were you.
  • Feb 27, 2013, 08:21 AM
    Oliver2011
    I agree. This economy is bad and could be going to worse shortly. Giving up a secure job you have had for 4 years at this moment is a bad decision. You don't want to put yourself in financial hardship by making decisions on a whim. Plus moving is one of those big life events that impacts lives - sometimes in a very negative way.
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:25 AM
    bdoran
    Tell girlfriend nicely that I am not moving with her?
    Gf wants me to move with her. From our home in boston mass to sun valley Idaho? Is there any nice way to say I won't move?
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:35 AM
    Oliver2011
    Yes. Say it like this.

    "I won't move."
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:37 AM
    bdoran
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Yes. Say it like this.

    "I won't move."

    You took the word right out of my mouth haha thanks for previous response
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:46 AM
    Oliver2011
    Explain it to her. You don't sound like you are overly sold on this girl anyway.
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:47 AM
    Wondergirl
    I know Idaho well (my mom's from that state) and I grew up in the N.E. area, so I agree to tell her, "I won't move." You can always vacation in Idaho.

    It sounds like she has her head in the clouds about wanting to live in a romantic ski resort area with glorious snow-covered mountains and cute bunny hills. Does she even ski? Has she ever been to Idaho?
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:53 AM
    bdoran
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Explain it to her. You don't sound like you are overly sold on this girl anyways.

    I love her but out of college she was ski bum then peace corps. Then moved in with me. When I got out of college I got a job and saved for house and bought one. Just recently she made this decisions. And she fells like I am going to throw all that work away for a lifestyle I don't want. Thhats how ill do it. I don't want that lifestyle. Its expansive where she wants to live so I know I have to work hard and not enjoy the scenery thanks
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:56 AM
    Wondergirl
    How did she pay for her ski bumming time?
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:57 AM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bdoran View Post
    I love her but out of college she was ski bum then peace corps. Then moved in with me. When i got out of college i got a job and saved for house and bought one. Just recently she made this decisions. And she fells like i am going to throw all that work away for a lifestyle i dont want. Thhats how ill do it. I dont want that lifestyle. Its expansive where she wants to live so i know i have to work hard and not enjoy the scenery thanks

    Then you have made your decision. Look - you sound like you are on a path and a pretty good path. So stick with that. You don't want to look back and regret.

    Side note - I hate the Patriots!!
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:57 AM
    bdoran
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I know Idaho well (my mom's from that state) and I grew up in the N.E. area, so I agree to tell her, "I won't move." You can always vacation in Idaho.
    She vacationed to sun valley for years for skiing. Her mom recently retired and move to this town.
    It sounds like she has her head in the clouds about wanting to live in a romantic ski resort area with glorious snow-covered mountains and cute bunny hills. Does she even ski? Has she ever been to Idaho?

    She use to vacation to sun valley and her mom just retired and bought a houes out there. She skis a lot.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Then you have made your decision. Look - you sound like you are on a path and a pretty good path. So stick with that. You don't want to look back and regret.
    Dont watch sports so i dont care. Thanks your for input
    Side note - I hate the Patriots!!!

    Don't watch sport so I don't care. Thanks for the input. It helps a lot.
  • Feb 27, 2013, 11:59 AM
    Wondergirl
    How does she pay for that? My sis used to ski in Vermont, and it cost her an arm and a leg.
  • Feb 27, 2013, 12:00 PM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bdoran View Post
    Dont watch sport so i dont care. Thanks for the input. It helps a lot.

    No problem and I wish you the best.
  • Feb 27, 2013, 12:03 PM
    bdoran
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How did she pay for her ski bumming time?

    She was living is aspen co. So she worked at retail store and ski instructor. And lived with 4 others. That's an expensive town to be in.
  • Feb 27, 2013, 03:22 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bdoran View Post
    She was living is aspen co. So she worked at retail store and ski instructor. And lived with 4 others. Thats an expensive town to be in.

    I was there overnight (in a pricy motel) on a vacation to CO. Good grief! She likes the high life, doesn't she.
  • Mar 6, 2013, 04:16 PM
    bdoran
    One love two places
    Been with girlfriend for 5 years: College 2 years, long distance for 2 years, living together for 9 months.

    She doesn't like where we live now and wants to move to where her mother lives. I find that life there wouldn't make me happy. We love each other a lot but divided to where we live. What should we do? The distance between the locations is about 1200 miles. We have family where we want to live.
  • Mar 6, 2013, 07:16 PM
    talaniman
    Keep talking until you do decide, or take a lot of vacations and visit family. I doubt I would give up a job for a lifestyle.
  • Mar 7, 2013, 12:25 AM
    ArmstrongMiller
    It's really hard to make a decision. Good luck.
  • Mar 7, 2013, 06:43 AM
    talaniman
    Having a girlfriend you love and want to please and be happy with is a great way to experiment and explore, but for major changes, I would myself require a very deeper commitment for the future, that offers security, and stability.

    You seem to have that, but she does not. I mean sounds great to be able to enjoy family and activities, and live a fun life style, but can you earn enough to build a future that allows that as you get older? If you want the luxury lifestyle of the rich and famous, you better have the bucks to sustain it, after you give up a solid job, and house.

    Love don' pay the sky lift operator. And moving in with mommy when you can't pay rent is unacceptable.

    Obviously I don't see her plan as viable in the long term but sounds like fun until the bills have to be paid.

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