I met this girl when I was a junior in high school. She saw my band perform, and was apparently instantly infatuated with me. So she started talking to me online, and we made plans to see each other after my next show. I could tell she was into me, and she was absolutely gorgeous, so I couldn't complain.

We met up after the show I spent the next few hours with her and her friends. I played guitar and sang specifically to her, which I know made her go crazy over me. Gradually, her friends started to leave, one by one. Finally, it was just the two of us and one other friend at her house. We then left and went for a walk. When we got to a place where they usually stop and hang out, she started asking me questions about my current relationship status. Finally, with much awkwardness, it came out that she liked me a lot. She was a really fun and interesting person, not to mention she was the most attractive girl I've ever talked to. Naturally, I told her I liked her too.

She then asked her friend to leave us alone for a bit. We kissed and I could tell she was extremely sexually excited.

So began our relationship. We became an item there and then, and we started seeing each other as often as we could. This continued in general stability for SIX MONTHS. We told each other we were in love after about one month. We had sex soon after.

Now, she was my first serious girlfriend, and she was definitely my first sexual partner. As a teenage boy, I naturally wanted to have sex with her all the time. Did I mention the fact that she's smokin' hot? As it turned out, she loved sex just as much as I did. She had been in lots of relationships in the past, many of which involved sex to some degree. So we planned the day for our first time. It was now the summer before my senior year in high school, and her junior year. Our first time was absolutely fantastic, and we became addicted to each other, emotionally and physically.

We told each other we were so very deeply in love with one another. We talked seriously about life together after high school. Neither of us wanted to ever leave the other. This passionate emotional and physical journey continued for quite some time, until...

Enter her friend that we made leave us alone on that fateful first day. Now, as we had been spending nearly all of our free time together, we hadn't left much time for friends. I was OK with this, but it became increasingly noticeable to me that she was not. She started to see her friends again much more often. This was a cause of many stupid fights between us. Finally, after a month of fighting, and about seven months into the relationship, she told me that she was breaking up with me.

She said it was too stressful for her to be in a relationship at that point in her life. I was heartbroken. I cried every day over her. I loved her so much. I didn't understand how she could tell me she felt the same one day and then the next, leave me all alone.

Evidently, her friend had never really liked me, and I believe that her friend got inside her head and convinced her to leave me. Now for the last, and most messed up part of my tale.

Her friend's brother was her ex-boyfriend. He was the one she apparently broke up with for me. So he hated me as well. Naturally, this created horribleness whenever she was around the two of them. It was almost like she acted differently towards me so she could avoid them thinking I was important to her.

So when she broke up with me, her ex started talking to her again. They were in contact often, because they would see each other whenever she would go to her friend's house. She apparently developed done feelings for this guy, which I'm sure he solicited.

But I was talking to her too. Eventually she told me she made a mistake by leaving me, and she said she still loved me, and she said she wanted to forget the breakup and get back together. I of course agreed.

We were together again for another month. She confessed to me that she considered using her ex as a rebound to get over me. She told me that she had no feelings for him. Then, very suddenly, she left me yet again. This time she told me that she couldn't have a boyfriend that didn't get along with her best friend (yeah, the one that hates me).

Now she's talking to me again. She told me she still has feelings for me, but she has developed feelings for her ex again. She told me she has decided not to pursue her feelings for me because it hadn't worked out the past two times.

The final detail is this. We had always played music and sang together. I spent endless hours of time perfecting recordings of her songs. Now she wants to continue making music with me, but it seems like she intends on making a relationship work with her ex.

This is confusing to me because she knows that I can't just be friends with her right now. It seems to me that she isn't sure her new relationship with her ex is going to work out, and she still enjoys spending time with me and talking as friends.

It seems like she must be talking to me more often than she talks to him at this point. She told me she was choosing him over me two days ago, and yet today she talked with me on the phone for nearly two hours.

I don't know what she's thinking. I don't know what to tell her, because I'm locked into musical commitments with her, but I only really want to get her back.

Is it a good idea to stay in contact with her while she goes through with this nonsense relationship with her ex?

Trust me, it's not worth staying in contact and being mopey all the time.

Take some time off contacting her for both of you, tell her you need to cut ties. That is what the respectable and healthy move is until you can accept that she has to choose her own destiny. If you need closure, get it now then stop talking.

Once you really, truly accept it's over between you two then maybe you can talk again and make music. It's going to be rough, but in the end it will be better.

I'm going through something similar and I'm emotionally confused very easily plus I have extreme emotions. I've learned to control urges to contact girls until I accept that it's over and it's their decision. After that I can talk to them about whatever, the relationship if need be or trying to be friends.

That is what you need to do, sort yourself out first.