Is it okay for a spouse to stay out all night on a weekly basis?
My wife and I have been married for seven years. We have two kids together and she has one from a former marriage. Her daughter and I have a wonderful dad/daughter relationship.
A few years ago we started playing volleyball once a week for fun. We would go and play and when it was over at 10 pm we went home to the kids so the babysitter could go home.
Then about a year ago while playing volleyball I hurt my shoulder and can no longer play. She is still going to volleyball night while I stay home with the kids. Now instead of coming home afterward she goes to the bar and maybe stays out till 3 am without letting me know of these plans. She also has become very secretive and distant. Completely opposite of the girl I married. It's hard to carry on a conversation with her as she will turn her attention to a word game or text someone on her smart phone. When I ask her to please put down her phone she tells me I am being "needy". I feel like I need to paste a pic of her face on the back of her phone so I can get to see her pretty face again. She also allows me no access to her phone.
Asking her to come home after volleyball is not up for discussion for her. She says we need to have separate interests and friends, and we do. I love to go hunting and I would never ask her to quit playing volleyball. However, I never go hunting without asking for her permission first. I never stay out past midnight without her, unless it is planned and She OKs it. I rarely go to the bar. When we go out I would say about half our time together is spent with her playing on her phone.
Lately she has suggested separation and divorce, because of my wanting to know what she is up to. Her daughter is 11 and is full of questions about life in general. She usually comes to me to talk about her feeling and emotions. This irritates my wife. However, I do not think it would be right of me not to listen to my step-daughter and help her out in any way I can. I hate putting that "step" in front of daughter. I have always viewed her as my own. I still view my wife as my best friend. I do not in any way want to separate. I have no legal rights to her daughter, so I would be losing her too.
The tension has become very depressing to me and is affecting my work. I want the girl that I married back. What can I do to keep my marriage together?