Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Bereavement (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=48)
-   -   Lost love (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=736058)

  • Feb 25, 2013, 04:14 AM
    LuisLane
    Lost love
    I lost my boyfriend 2 weeks ago and had to say goodbye on Valentines day. I feel like this is a cruel joke being played on me. I miss him every day and refuse to believe that this could be the end and that he's gone. Is there any way to deal with this?
  • Feb 25, 2013, 04:18 AM
    joypulv
    You lost him? He disappeared, died, left you, what?
    No, losing someone is not a cruel joke. Yes, losing someone is a cruel joke.
    It's all how you chose to view it.
    We all go through it. 99.9% of us anyway.
    It hurts horribly and we think the pain will last forever, and no one can tell us it will get better.
    I'm sorry for your loss.
  • Feb 25, 2013, 04:25 AM
    LuisLane
    He died... I guess saying those words are still a little difficult
  • Feb 25, 2013, 05:00 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    There is no one answer, at two weeks it often does not seem real.
    We each greive and express our loss differently
  • Feb 25, 2013, 12:39 PM
    JudyKayTee
    It was 6 months before I realized my late husband wasn't coming home - ever - and he died in my arms.

    Grief varies from person to person. There are no rules.
  • Feb 25, 2013, 12:59 PM
    joypulv
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LuisLane View Post
    he died...i guess saying those words are still a little difficult

    Say them... say them over and over. Don't say 'passed' or anything but died.
    Tell us all about it here. Tell anyone you know.
    Talk and talk. Walk and talk. Gather mementos, Plant something. Talk to him. My dad loved jokes even though he was a quiet man of few words, so every time I hear a good joke, I shout 'WOW did you hear that one?' And he's been dead for 2 years.
    (Yes, my dad was old... but I have lost other people in my life too, and miss my dad the most... )
  • Feb 25, 2013, 01:08 PM
    JudyKayTee
    I'm not sure I agree, Joy - I think grief is best handled individually. I didn't say "widow" for over two years. I said, "I'm X's wife" or "I was married to X." The first time I said "widow" it made it all very real, and I came home and cried.

    Maybe it's avoidance. I knew he was dead. The word changed nothing - but it caught in my throat.
  • Mar 5, 2013, 09:33 AM
    smkanand
    I think what you mean is you both never be together again, ever. I know exactly what you mean, my boyfriend died few years back and I'm still not over him. You can do one thing, work, read and spend time with friends and family. Don't try to find an easy solution, let the grief slow down naturally.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:09 PM.