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-   -   Relationship help. Cheating? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=735976)

  • Feb 24, 2013, 03:52 PM
    Rachel1243
    Relationship help. Cheating?
    So me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months. About a month ago I found in his phone messages to and from a girl like flirting and "hitting it". I did not confront him about it that day but the next day he sent me a pic of an earring he found in his car, which was not mine and I said "why dont you ask michelle" which is the girl. He said it was him and his friend texting her just messing around and he told michelle just to stop texting him after all this happened. We worked it all out and are good now. Well recently I saw him on twitter retweeting and favoriting a lot of some girls stuff. I know this is bad, but I looked in his messages and the girl said "you should text me" and he said "whats your number" and she didn't reply so he said again "that number though?" And she gave it to him. I also saw that he has favorited 3 of her pictures on twitter too. I mentioned something about her and he said he didn't even have her number. I looked on his phone and her number & messages were deleted out of the twitter messages and no where in his phone. Also he was just casually talking to a girl on twitter (which I knew he used to have a thing with) and she said for him to text him and he got her number too. I also so on Facebook him say to a friend (this conversation was in out first month of dating) that said "i have a great gf and talking to a few rebound chicks on the side. You know how it is" and the guy said "yea man gotta spread the " and my boyfriend said "lol pretty much" uhhh like what does that even mean? I know my boyfriend loves me very much and I love him and we even talked about when I graduate in 2 months for us to maybe get an apartment together at the end of the year or he will wait in my city till id be able to. So it is pretty serious. Im just so confused about everything and don't know who to talk to about this. I love him so much and don't want to lost him. Oh and also next month he is going to panama city beach for spring break with all his friends, and I'm worried considering there will be soooo many slutty girls there and he will be drunk.. im also going there with friends over summer though but I know I won't do anything wrong.. am I just over thinking all this and worrying too much or no?
  • Feb 24, 2013, 05:13 PM
    teacherjenn4
    You don't have a very healthy relationship with him. You check on him way too much. Why are you with someone you can't trust?
  • Feb 24, 2013, 05:33 PM
    Rachel1243
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    You don't have a very healthy relationship with him. You check on him way too much. Why are you with someone you can't trust?

    I trusted him until one thing happened & I was starting to get his trust back and this happened. So I was gettimg suspicious and looking. Two days ago I decided to stop looking and to try and trust him because I shouldn't be looking at them. Im going to mention it tonight. I hate it because I get really bad anxiety like I'm real insecure and just feel like he will cheat on me.
  • Feb 24, 2013, 05:37 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rachel1243 View Post
    I trusted him until one thing happened & i was starting to get his trust back and this happened. So i was gettimg suspicious and looking. two days ago i decided to stop looking and to try and trust him because i shouldnt be looking at them. Im going to mention it tonight. I hate it because i get really bad anxiety like im real insecure and just feel like he will cheat on me.

    Open the lines of communication. Tell him how these things make you feel. Be sure to let him know that you need trust for this relationship to continue.
  • Feb 24, 2013, 06:03 PM
    Rachel1243
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    Open the lines of communication. Tell him how these things make you feel. Be sure to let him know that you need trust for this relationship to continue.

    Yea communication and trust is the key in a relationship. Even if he actually has not hung out or done anything with these girls I just don't like Him talking to the one because I know she is a slut and he kind of lied about not having her phone number... unless He did delete it. But I have no problem with him talking to other girls as just friends and letting me know.
  • Feb 24, 2013, 06:09 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rachel1243 View Post
    Yea communication and trust is the key in a relationship. Even if he actually has not hung out or done anything with these girls i just don't like Him talking to the one because i know she is a slut and he kind of lied about not having her phone number...unless He did delete it. But i have no problem with him talking to other girls as just friends and letting me know.

    If you trust him, he should be able to talk to anyone without you knowing, and you shouldn't care.
  • Feb 24, 2013, 06:11 PM
    Rachel1243
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    If you trust him, he should be able to talk to anyone without you knowing, and you shouldn't care.

    Very good point. I think the thing is I really just need to gain my trust back in him. I never did this stuff until the first thing happened last month and I just kind of started getting paranoid.
  • Feb 24, 2013, 06:33 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rachel1243 View Post
    Very good point. I think the thing is i really just need to gain my trust back in him. I never did this stuff until the first thing happened last month and i just kind of started getting paranoid.

    Well, have a good talk and let us know what happens.

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