Ask Me Help Desk - I'm a 12 year old girl and I love somebody that's a 20 year old guy.

So I am in love with a guy that's 20. I don't know what to do. He loves me also. He's a real gentlemen and he respects me. I'm very mature for my age. I don't know if that's wrong but he understands me and has given me so much advice in my life right now. He hasn't met my parents yet but he wants to. I love him and he makes me happy. We haven't done anything though. Not even kissed. I really want to but I feel like that's wrong but people say age shouldn't matter. Is that true in my situation? I truly love him. And we have so much and common, I feel like we're perfect for each other.

You MUST leave this person alone otherwise there are SERIOUS legal ramifications!!
No ifs buts or maybes on this one.
You are a CHILD!!

Strawberries, you need to be warned of innapropriate behavior; should this 20 year old 'gentleman' that you have so much in common with make sexual advances to you, would in all probability go to jail for corrupting a minor. Have no doubt about that.

I would love to be the 'fly on the wall' when he meets your parents if they value their daughter's welfare and respectibility.

Words escape me to even start to describe how I feel about your post, but I am sure others will have some advice to offer here.

Now tell me what a l2 year old girl has is in common with a 20 year old man.

A 20 year old man in love with a 12 year old girl who wants to meet her parents has something missing in his knowledge of the world. He is facing prison. What country is this? (You don't have a clue either, but that's to be expected at 12.)

It probably isn't even worth trying to tell you that you have nothing in common. He likes giving you advice about life, which makes him more of a parent than a boyfriend, and he likes the fact that you think his advice is absolutely wonderful. Men who glom onto young girls are failures with people their own age.

The matter of being a gentleman is not relevant, because he can go to prison even if he never touches you. The world assumes that he wants to and will talk you into it, and even if that is unfair because this one man is one in several million, that's the way it is in life. You are what is called jail bait.

I live in rural farming New England and my ancestors did for 300 years, and I know a lot about them. Most of the girls got married around 14 to a man around 20+, dropped out of school, worked their tails off on the farm, and had 12 kids by the time they were 30, of which a few always died. UGH! You need to be a teen starting next year, with best friends your age, and boys your age, all hanging out in groups, going on group dates while you learn about each other and about life and relationships. It is a long learning experience, and it is vital for adulthood. In fact it never stops.

If I had a dollar for every child who told us they were mature for their age, I would not have to work for a living. You have no clue what love really is at your age. I know you won't believe me, but its true.

A 20 yr old who tells a 12 yr old that he loves her is sick. You need to tell your poarents about this right away.

How did you meet and become involved with him?

This is totally inappropriate behavior. This man has no business being around you. You have no clue what love is. You have a crush on a very creepy man. You need to tell your parents and stay away from him.

As a dad of two girls ( now both over 21) , I would be VERY upset of a 20 yr old man having even a friendly relationship with my 12 year old daughter. While his motives may be pure ( of that I would not be convinced) , the degree of your relationship that already exists WITHOUT your parents knowledge has GREAT potential for trouble.

Much more so for him than you.

He needs to end this " friendship " and find someone over 18.

U no guys I do understand where your all comeing from. But you have to relise that their are a lot of people out their that do a lot worse then a 12 and 20 year old. I'm not saying that I apporve. I'm saying that as long as he doesn't hurt you or touch you in any inapportiate way then your fine. And I do suggest that he should meet your parents. And if you hang out with hime that you should have a friend or adult around or even be in a puplic area at least until your older. Trust me my friend is in your situation but not as young and the guy isn't that old.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rikku3464

u no guys i do understand where ur all comeing from. but you have to relise that thier are alot of ppl out their that do alot worse then a 12 and 20 year old. im not saying that i apporve. im saying that as long as he doesnt hurt you or touch you in any inapportiate way then your fine. n i do suggest that he should meet your parents. and if you hang out with hime that you should have a friend or adult around or even be in a puplic area at least untill your older. trust me my friend is in your situation but not as young and the guy isnt that old.

PLEASE - this site requires words spelled out. Take the time and trouble to make your response readable.
And of course you are totally wrong that 'as long as he doesn't hurt you or touch you in any inapportiate way then your fine.' Many here already explained why!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rikku3464

u no guys i do understand where ur all comeing from. but you have to relise that thier are alot of ppl out their that do alot worse then a 12 and 20 year old..

You have to be kidding! A 12 yr old is a child. No adult has ANY business having a romantic relationship with a child.

Based upon your use of text abbreviations I suspect you are a child yourself who has no experience to make such a comment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rikku3464

u no guys i do understand where ur all comeing from. but you have to relise that thier are alot of ppl out their that do alot worse then a 12 and 20 year old. im not saying that i apporve. im saying that as long as he doesnt hurt you or touch you in any inapportiate way then your fine. n i do suggest that he should meet your parents. and if you hang out with hime that you should have a friend or adult around or even be in a puplic area at least untill your older. trust me my friend is in your situation but not as young and the guy isnt that old.

Please tell us how old you are and for your reasoning behind your statement.

There may be doing a lot worse than a 20 year old loving a 12 year old. That would be a 20 year old loving an 11 year old.

The difference between say a 25 year old and a 35 year old is of little significance compared to a 20 yr old and. 12 year old. The 12 year old is an immature child vs. the 20 year old who is chronologically an adult.

Even the most mature 12 year old is still a child.

There must be a reason why a 12 year old can't buy a house , a gun , enter the military , stay out after curfew etc. while a 20 year old can do all of these things. We as a society do not allow 12 year olds to declare themselves to be an " adult".

I seriously question the motives of an "adult " who has a romantic interest in a 12 year old. But then again , it is more likely that the 12 year old has a crush on an unsuspecting 20 year old she has befriended.

No self respecting 20 year old would set foot anywhere near the home of this 12 year old introducing themselves as the new boyfriend.