I'm a girl who has recently turned 19, and since the age of around 17 I have been doing all sorts of bad things which affect myself and others around me who care.

I constantly lie to my mum, and she will not speak to me now, I've had so many chances and this is difficult because I live with her so all I can do is spend time in my room on my own thinking of how much I have hurt others because of the stupid things I have done.

I feel that I have a problem with alcohol also, it's like I drink to the point where I'm just not me... somebody described to me that I look and talk as if I'm on another planet when I drink excessively, as I don't know when to stop.

Recently I have messed things up again, I got really drunk and went missing, this is the third time this has happened. I went to this persons house I barely know and I think my drink may have had something put in it, because he gave me a glass of wine and once I had drank it, woke up a few hours later on his bathroom floor. I have no recolection of how I ended up from the living room to the bathroom floor. I then started to get phone calls off my mum and I was in hysterics saying I don't know where I am. I texted a friend saying I had been stabbed and raped which has really hurt her and jeapordised our relationship.
I mananged to get out of there and the police took me home by which time my mum was extremely drunk and shouting at me.

All my friends and family of sick of the things I am doing, I don't know who I am anymore and I scare myself so much. I don't know if I will ever be the person I was before all of this.
People just aren't helping me, but I'm not surprised because of what I have done.

I don't know what to do.

It's time for rehab my dear.. plain simple and to the point.. now it's up to you take my advice or leave it.. also seek counciling.

Hi Anongirl
Unfortunately I have to agree with outside help babe..
Your right about it getting out of hand and messy..
I don't believe it's a problem you can solve on your own..
I would suggest if your family and friends see your taking affirmative action and not just all talk I really believe a support base will start forming because people can't help until you want to help yourself..

You have been so very brave to admit to your demons and even braver to recognise your wrongs, this is a big head start to recovering the quality of your life and health.. I do believe if you take the next step of professional help you can and will find yourself once more and you will be an even better person than you originally were..

Please pop back and update as I will be thinking of you and hoping for your healthy return..

If you don't seek counseling and treatment for alcohol abuse your life will continue to get more empty and lonely by the hour. You know you have a problem. If you don't take steps to correct it you will chase everyone you love out of your life. You need the support of a professional. Please seek the help you need. You are young and have a lifetime ahead of you. It's up to you whether it will be a lifetime of regret and sorrow or of love and laughter.

Please listen and act on the advice of the others who have responded to your reaching out. It is up to you. No one is going to do it for you. You have your own life to live, so own up to who you are. "The best mirror is a friend's eye." It is up to you to make the choices for your life.