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-   -   How Do I Proceed? Help? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=735303)

  • Feb 20, 2013, 08:26 PM
    Muffin22
    How Do I Proceed? Help?
    I am female and have a guy friend we have known each other awhile and talking recently and intimately. Then I emailed him and told him I rather not talk that way, that we should slow it down. (I did this because I really like him and feel he likes me but want his respect) He emails back day later says we can be anything you want to be. Then I didn't message him for few days and got several messages from him. Then we talked in general and then now then past day or so not talked any we just sent off lines. Anyway how should I proceed from here and be sure to get his respect?
  • Feb 21, 2013, 07:26 AM
    Oliver2011
    I would move slowly and get to know him while he gets to know you. I like that you want his respect and agree intimacy will come in time. Sounds like you are doing the right thing.
  • Feb 21, 2013, 08:08 PM
    odinn7
    Sounds like he really isn't all that interested now if I understand what you're trying to say.
  • Feb 21, 2013, 08:46 PM
    talaniman
    You have the right idea, go slow, and just see what happens.
  • Feb 21, 2013, 09:00 PM
    joypulv
    All this texting is alien to me. Emailing is better, but you say 'messages' so I don't know how much is getting through. How do two people get any idea of each other that way?
    We don't know if he thinks you are being cold and aloof and don't like him, or if he likes fast girls and has had it, or he found someone else, or who knows what.
    I would invite him for a coffee or lunch or walk. In person!
    And say 'Sorry I was so busy - hope it didn't ruin what we had.'
  • Feb 22, 2013, 10:11 AM
    WisperWill70
    The way to get any person's respect is to respect YOUR true feelings and boundaries. Be open, be real and honest and go slow -- if he really cares about you he will as well. Because he said "We can be whatever you want to be" it shows he already DOES respect you
    :)
  • Feb 22, 2013, 10:12 AM
    WisperWill70
    I agree with the above -- "messages" (text or email) lose a lot in translation - you might be trying to get him to respect you meanwhile he thinks you're not interested/feeling aloof or hurt, etc. it's best to also incorporate some real communication as well! Good luck.

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