Ask Me Help Desk - Why does he do this?

Why does he do this?

OK so here's the thing. Me and this guy were seeing each other over a year ago and the age difference was always our problem. About after 4 months we gave up and moved on with our lives. I started dating someone else and so did he but ever since a year ago he is always in and out of my life. We get along very well. We never had sex so it’s not like he’s using me for that but I just don't understand why he continues to do that.

When I’m around him and I talk about other guys he seems to get jealous and wants to beat them up but we aren't even dating so I don't know why he acts like that. He tells me he cares about me and that he apologizes multiple times for coming around every once in a while but if he’s sorry why does he keep doing it? He knows I just came out of a relationship and so did he. He kind of opens up to me about this relationship with his ex but I just don't understand.

Yes I care about him but it’s like I have other things to focus on and when he comes back in to my life it messes things up cause I enjoy being with him. We always have a good time together and even if we haven't seen each other in like 5 months it's still not awkward once we reunite. WHY are guys so confusing?? :(

Tell me about it...

What was the age difference? Some guys have a fear of commitment that rules their life. Honestly if he isn't willing to take the leap he really can't get pissy about you seeing other people.

Maybe he is just joking and likes being your friend. If you don't appear to mind, he will keep doing it. If this bothers you, tell him, in fact, why do you ask him. He is the one that would know.

I have talked to him many times about it and said you can't keep coming in my life when ever you want too. He says he knows and will always be there but once we start getting close he disappears again.
& oliver2011 the age difference is 5 years he said he liked me before and said I was what he liked in a girl but then he said the age was our problem and then started saying we could never be a couple but then why get mad when I date other guys or talk about them ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxrider7

I have talked to him many times about it and said you can't keep coming in my life when ever you want too. He says he knows and will always be there but once we start getting close he disappears again.
& oliver2011 the age difference is 5 years he said he liked me before and said i was what he liked in a girl but then he said the age was our problem and then started saying we could never be a couple but then why get mad when i date other guys or talk about them ?

He does it because you keep letting him back in. Stop doing it.

yeah but for the longest time I wasn't.. he would try hanging out and I would say no. We didn't hang out for 5 months then yesterday he came to my house to say hi randomly and asked if I wanted to go for a coffee and catch up so I said yes. He kept bringing up all our memories and he has our old conversations saved and remembers the dates when we would stop talking or start again. Why does he remember that if he doesn't care ?

It sounds like he enjoys manipulating you. I don't see it as caring. I find it creepy.

How is it creepy ?

I think he has to care cause no guy would remember that for no reason especially when he just came out of a relationship... lol

The fact that he would go in and out of a relationship, come and go back to you and keep records of his communications with you is creepy. He has not committed himself to you and how do you know he does not keep records of all the women in his life?
I think you want to hear he wants you back.
Ask him what he wants. Ask him if he wants to commit to you, then you will have your answer. I find him manipulative and creepy.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...at-633352.html

Same guy? If it is you are still jail bait for him. He can really do nothing but live his life, and check you out from time to time. That keeps you close and him on your mind. Obviously its working.

I guess he is keeping you close until you are old enough.
This is way it is confusing when you make more than one post on the same topic.
You need to be talking to guys your own age. If this is the same guy, I still say he is manipulative. He needs to leave you alone and let you grow up without interference from him.