I don't feel pleasure during sex. It doesn't hurt or anything, but I don't feel the drive for any (not just sex) sexual activities. I was always excited for my first time and now that it's been a year and a half since my first time, I've never once felt pleasure in any sexual activity. I've looked up the symptoms and everything.. a lot of resources tell me I have "sexual arousal disorder"?

I assume you are female, although I am not 100% sure.

Can you achieve pleasure through masturbation?

And how long is the foreplay, few women will achieve climax in just sexual intercourse, but it is done though hand, mouth or toy stimulation prior or perhaps after intercourse.

When you masturbate do you climax, are you showing your partner where and how to please you.

Yes I am female. And yes I can achieve pleasure through masturbation. And I get excited through touching but once any sexual activity starts with someone then the drive just disappears. Its happened my whole life this way. With my partner I have told and showed him what I like "best" but there is really no "best" for me because I've never had any feeling towards it. Whether is oral or actual sex.

Have you explored the mental aspect of arousal? Is there anything in your background that might cause you to shut down mentally when actual contact occurs?

Female arousal is based more in the brain than in the body. If your brain is not getting or staying aroused then you should look into what is distracting it.

If your expectations are not matching up with reality, then it may be causing a mental block.

When you masturbate, is there a certain subject(s) that really turns you on? Have you tried exploring parts of your fantasies with your partner or, at very least, discussing them?

My mother passed away when I was 6 months old. When my dad remarried when I was two, she physically abused me a little bit. But I don't think that has anything to do with my issue.

Also, whenever I masturbate it's always in the shower. I do it the same every single time. My partner and I have done lots of different positions and tried new things but nothing.seems to work

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Originally Posted by musicpassion

My mother passed away when I was 6 months old. When my dad remarried when I was two, she physically abused me a little bit. But I don't think that has anything to do with my issue.?

Also, whenever I masturbate it's always in the shower. I do it the same every single time. My partner and I have done lots of different positions and tried new things but nothing.seems to work

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I bet the abuse is a big factor as to why you seem to have a mental block/ shut down when you're intimate with someone. Counseling could help you understand why you do this, and help you get past it so you can finally enjoy being intimate. Sometimes we don't even realize what or how something is holding us back. I think a counselor could really help you.

Thank you! I've been looking into counceling.