My dad passed away suddenly, a year and a half ago. It bothers me more now because it feels so real. I'm only 18 and I am busy all the time. However, whenever I am alone I become so lost in thought. I just can't stop thinking about him. I don't want to see a councilor, I just want to know how to not think about him when I am alone.

Perhaps you can spend a little disciplined time each day at a specific time . Think of and list... contemplate and be grateful for... the various good qualities you see in yourself... that you attribute to your now departed... but still loved parent.

Find ways to celebrate his life! My dad died in 1994 and we still think and talk about him almost every day. We kids and grandkids wrote a book about him and drew pictures, and we planted a tree in his honor. We paid for a memorial with his name on it and that is now at the church where he was a minister. Celebrate him but don't try to stop thinking about him! Remember the funny things he said and did, and remember how smart he was in some things (my dad couldn't boil a pot of water, but he could talk about the Greeks and Romans all day).

You don't stop thinking about him. Why would you, unless it's totally destroying your ability to function. Perhaps you didn't fully grieve yet, and it's common to not really realize that someone is gone for a year or more, as each anniversary arrives, each birthday and holiday and times that bring back where you both were on that day.
We modern world people spend too little time grieving. Immerse yourself in it. Go to his home where he was born and walk around. Build a little shrine with some mementos on a shelf or out in the yard. Write down what you remember about him, starting before he was born, a biography.
Spend some self-counseling time thinking about guilt. We all have guilt about 'what if I had done something different' or 'I could have prevented it' or 'I didn't tell him I loved him enough.' Guilt is what drags pure grief down into a long term pain. Grief is tough, but it has a progression toward change that can be felt as good, even though it hurts.

Talk about it here if you want, below.

First~I'm sorry for your loss, that's hard stuff. My heart goes out to you.
It takes a lot more effort and energy to suppress those thoughts than it does to allow them.
Grief recovery is hard work sometimes... it's a process for sure.
Even if you postpone it and push it away~it will still ever be there. Because, your Dad is ever absent in your world and there is nothing you can do about that. Right? So it's something one has to literally 'learn' to live with and to navigate.
What is so bad about thinking of him? It hurts? It hurts either way is my guess.
If you roll with it~ allow the thoughts, the tears, the memories; whatever it is your process brings, you'll find it comes in waves. It's bearable that way. Once you think those things (sometimes the same thought over and over again it seems!) after a time, you've thought it enough--and it will STOP being invasive. <<---that's the main thing. You won't have to fight so hard to keep them at bay or in check if you just think it and feel it now. I'm sorry you lost your Dad. It's very sad. Hoping the best for you. Warm regards~

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You don't stop thinking about him. Why would you, unless it's totally destroying your ability to function. Perhaps you didn't fully grieve yet, and it's common to not really realize that someone is gone for a year or more, as each anniversary arrives, each birthday and holiday and times that bring back where you both were on that day.
We modern world people spend too little time grieving. Immerse yourself in it. Go to his home where he was born and walk around. Build a little shrine with some mementos on a shelf or out in the yard. Write down what you remember about him, starting before he was born, a biography.
Spend some self-counseling time thinking about guilt. We all have guilt about 'what if I had done something different' or 'I could have prevented it' or 'I didn't tell him I loved him enough.' Guilt is what drags pure grief down into a long term pain. Grief is tough, but it has a progression toward change that can be felt as good, even though it hurts.

Talk about it here if you want, below.

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Beautifully said. :)

If you have not have time to grieve and let yourself experience your pain and to cope with it, then you can't just distract yourself from thinking about your loved one and expect the pain to disappear.

It helps to allow yourself some time to think about him, to miss him, and to try to come to terms with his passing. Just for a period, every so often, allow yourself to do this. Meanwhile, allow yourself time each day to do things that you love. I don't mean that you should become hedonistic or self-indulgent but rather that you should allow yourself to do things you enjoy doing, to see your friends, to go out if you haven't already. Sometimes when people lose a loved one, they seem to stop living and it can be dangerous if one is stuck in the past and don't allow themselves to move forward.

If you allow yourself this (time to think about your father and to continue to live, rather than just work - if that's what you've been doing), then you might eventually find that during your down time, your thoughts aren't consumed with your loved one. You'll always miss him but it will be more manageable.

I hope you can heal and be happy. All the best to you.

I still think about my mother and father after many years, you never stop thinking, is these thoughts effecting your life to a point that you can not function, is it causing great depression?

And why not see a counselor, people need to more often than they do