 |
I have been going out with this girl for a week and we were doing great
Then she told me about her 4 year old child that she had when she was 12
I feel weird and feel it is wrong but I don't want to hurt her by dumping her
We have so much in common and we were fine up to the point when she told me about her 4 year old child
Do I just accept him or dump her
You do what you feel in your heart. There is no right or wrong here. At 12, she might not have known what was happening. She might have been raped. Even if she willingly had sex, it might have been because she had no love from her parents and thought sex was love, or because some guy convinced her that he loved her. Even the law doesn't recognize her ability to distinguish right from wrong in matters of sex at that age, so why should you?
But if it bothers you, let her go gently. She is still young at 16. That means you are young too - right?
Im 17 going 18
She did it willingly and is proud to have the son, the father still contacts her with her son and I'm just wondering what is right and wrong.
Cuz she won't let her parents know about us
Her parents are strict
Her parents are understandably strict, although I won't judge either way, not knowing if they were always so strict that they stifled her growth so much that it drove her to look for love in sex and a baby.
They have a legal right to tell you to stay away from her until she is 18. They have the right as well if she stays past 18, although no longer a legal right. You can get in some amount of trouble while you are 17 depending on what state you live in, and in a lot of trouble the day YOU turn 18 and she is still under 18, in all 50 states.
If her parents will allow you to just see each other without going out (I hope they aren't cutting off all her social contact), then you can be friends for now. Again, there is no right or wrong for you. You are still young enough that you can have a relationship that isn't leading to a lifetime together. You might learn a lot from her about what it means to be a parent. She might learn something from you about true caring and tenderness rather than selfishness. You like her, but don't have to profess undying love forever. It's even OK to say that you have long term plans that include more school or moving somewhere else, or start a business that will take every penny you earn, and you won't be ready for a wife for several years. Being honest might drive her away, but better now than later.
However, her parents probably aren't going to be open minded, she probably will be mad at her parents, and so you have to break it off for legal reasons. If you feel able to be friends, have a formal talk with the parents. Tell them you understand the law and just want to date occasionally. The odds are probably against you. Good luck.
She made a mistake when she was young and she owns it. There is no right or wrong about it any more. What would be wrong is you not being honest if you cannot handle the reality she is in now.
Its only been a week, and of course she will not go to her parents with a guy who may not stick around because she has a child. Think about it, and if you still cannot handle this situation remove yourself.
It depends, many men and boys will not want a girl who has a child, others look at the person and will love them or not love them based on them.
It just depends on where you are in your life and heart.
My wife Beth, had a son, and he was 2 when I came into his life, he has been one of my biggest joys ever and he is now 32.
This is a choice only you can make
She has 4 criminal records in france america, england and canida
Wow, how much trouble can a teenager get into? For sure you know what YOU are getting into if you continue with her.
She has a gun and said she isn't afraid to use it. She flirts with peopleand says that she will have sex with them.
I'd have to see those records to believe it. For all any of us (including you) know, she may have a 'I dare you to accept me' defiance streak that includes a very real child and a bunch of tall tales. Who knows?Quote:
Originally Posted by thomascarpenter
I know but that what scares me if I can't beliveve anything she says then how can we b happy
So now it's somewhere between a total fantasy keep-away or I'll kill you and a femme fatale who will sleep with anyone, and I for one am starting to think that you are being hoodwinked right and left. Good luck with THIS one! Perhaps she likes you because you are so gullible.Quote:
Originally Posted by thomascarpenter
You can't and if people your ages can't have fun getting to know one another, then I fail to see the point.
So should idump her to escape this girl or stay with her and be scared forever to do anything
I still say you have to go with your heart, what you know that we can't possibly know, the little things. Just take what she says with one eyebrow raised and a little James Bond smile, and say something like 'What a fascinating life you have led in a mere 16 years.' And never ever believe anything just because someone says it's true, but don't shut trust out of your life either. You will spend the rest of your life balancing trust with caution. That's what we all do. You haven't known her long enough for any trust, but you don't have to shut her out either. Does this make sense?
OK it does make sense but I still don't think that I shouldn't have to be frightened to be happy
You have only been with her a week and all of this is going on. I'd leave the girl alone. It sounds like you don't really want to go there with her anyway. I don't blame you. There is just too much drama here. Does she really have a child and has all this stuff really happened? Sounds a bit far fetched to me.
Personally I'd run from all this drama.
Yes she does have a kid I have sen a pic and a video of him and herQuote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Doesn't mean the child is hers. At any rate, this is way too much drama. I'd walk.Quote:
Originally Posted by thomascarpenter
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:15 PM. |