Ask Me Help Desk - I need help getting over my ex boyfriend

How can I get over my ex boyfriend? He is everything I wanted in my type. There is something I cannot let go and he is my first, you know... Right now he is being a jerk. First time we dated we been together for a little over a year then he broke up with me then dated someone else being a jerk then broke up with her. We were being friend with benefits in some way but yet he knows I still had feeling for him.

We both have the physical attraction and some emotion together and he said he was sorry and everything then he told me he didn’t wanted to give me an answer of if we should try again but yet couple weeks later he ask me out on a date and we dated for a month. He said how he misses me and everything then the next he told me, that why he didn’t want to give me an answer right away but he lead me to be confused but I wasn’t wanting to go in the same step as the first time so I was calm and ask him if we could talk about it and he said sure then when that day came. He was being a jerk and so I never gotten by answer about.

I wanted to move on and trying but kind of hard cause his best friend is my cousin who they live next door to each other and been in my family ever since we were young. Plus our dads went to school and hung out long time ago. I thought we were meant to be together, I know I am 24 and he going to be 20 but he is everything I thought of in a guy and more but yet I do not know what is going on with him. He was honest guy but yet change his mood overnight to something else. I understand him and I am his patient so he said. What did we go wrong?

At 20, he has a lot of growing to do, that at 24, you might have already done. You are older in age, and maybe older in maturity. He isn't ready for a relationship right now.
Please meet some new people, make new friends. I have never forgotten any girls I knew, but had to move on with my life. I am 71 yrs old, and a widower. You will make a good life for yourself. You can move on.

The day you became his "friend with benefits" is the day you became his sexual partner, nothing more and nothing less."

I don't see this turning back into a relationship.

Only you know if "everything you want" in a man includes him using women the way he's used you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fredg

At 20, he has a lot of growing to do, that at 24, you might have already done. You are older in age, and maybe older in maturity. He isn't ready for a relationship right now.
Please meet some new people, make new friends. I have never forgotten any girls I knew, but had to move on with my life. I am 71 yrs old, and a widower. You will make a good life for yourself. You can move on.

Fredg---He is mature for his age as I can see cause his parents pushes him to be what he wanted to be so I am guessing he is mature in what he want but not much in relationship. He do not last long in relationship. His ex before me is dating my cousin who is his best friend who he have dated for two years before that at least a year but he been in relationship more than I have... He is in my mind since October. I tried to let go but my heart maybe it just my mind that do not want to let go, I don't know. Usually it mean something if you think of that person a lot and dream too. Maybe I am to obessed with him and need professional help?

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

The day you became his "friend with benefits" is the day you became his sexual partner, nothing more and nothing less."

I don't see this turning back into a relationship.

Only you know if "everything you want" in a man includes him using women the way he's used you.

JudyKayTee-- Well, in our first relationship (a year,a month, and few days), we both had sex and it was our first time. I was 21 and he was almost 18 and we had sex almost every weekend. I was just craving for sex and so was he but he was also didn't want to be in relationship but for some reason we act like we were going to in a way cause of some people asking us.

Your answer confuses me even more. You were in a relationship which included sex. You broke up. You started being "friends with benefits." Now you want a relationship and he clearly doesn't.

I don't see anything you've posted that has changed that.

This 20 year old does not want a relationship with you. He will have sex occasionally because you let him, but nothing more. Stop allowing him to play with you. Get out, make some new friends and leave this kid alone.

It is typical of those young people who have had sex to bond in an emotioal way, epecially a virgin. But when the lust is gone and there is no love then it fizzles to nothing. You really do need other things beside him in your life and if you leave him alone long enough and do other things you will lose that familarity that knowing him for so long has brought you.

Sure its hard since you still see him around and are constantly reminded of what was, so just don't be so around him for a while.

JulieKayTee-- We were in the relationship because we wanted to know each other which turn in having sex at night but we have always hung out working in the woods, home, and having fun like mud bog and with friends then we became somewhat friend with benfiets when he broke up with his ex after me. We have talks while being friends with benfiets then it lead to him asking me out then something trigger him a month later which I think have to do with his sister.

talaniman- I have others thing in my life beside him but we also have a lot in common but him wanting to be a firefigthers. He had so many pressure from his parents about it which I do not know if that is what trigger himself of being a jerk. In someway, I do see that I put him in first as priority but that is because we don't see each other but on weekend because we are working during the week and also live about 45 min apart. I have not been around him jan on my birthday when my cousin invited him so he wouldn't be the only guy bowling with the girls and before then oct when we broke up for the second time. It is kind of hard to not be around him if he is best friend to your cousin who live next door to him.

He has pulled away from you and you must accept that and move on. It could be he has just changed.