I need advice badly! My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have 2 young children and have busy lives but try to make time for love making about 2x's a week. My husband is constantly complaining about how it isn't enough and would like me to perform oral sex with him. This is not something I like to do or am comfortable doing, which is why I try to make sure we make love often. I is upset that I don't like to perform oral sex. I don't know what to do. It has taken it's toll on our relationship. I don't want to do something I am uncomfortable with, but it is something he really wants. Please help! What is a normal amount of sex for couples like us to have per week? Are we falling short? It oral sex a normal part of a marriage or am I crazy for not being comfortable with it?

You aren't crazy because a lot of people aren't comfortable with it. It is, however, pretty normal - I'd even guess that most people probably do it. For a lot of people, the idea of cleanliness bothers them. Taking a shower together first is fun, and can help you get past that concern. It's not dirty or wrong or raunchy - oral sex is very mainstream among committed couples.

It can also be helpful to get comfortable receiving as well as giving oral sex. For a lot of women it is equally if not more satisfying than intercourse and can also be great foreplay to intercourse.

If you are not sure how to do it, he can instruct you or you can find books or articles on it online. I'm not generally a fan of porn (pretty dead set against it) but I suppose it could be good instruction if you haven't done this before and are self-concious about it.

This might be something you have to do a few times to get comfortable with. For men, it is very satisfying and gives them great fantasies and visuals that keep the love life exciting. For a long-married couple, I think it's a good idea to shake things up, try something new and make your husband a very happy man. Then ask him for what you would like, sexually or otherwise! I bet he'll be happy to comply.

No, you are not crazy. Not everyone likes to give oral sex, all the way, until they ejaculate into the mouth. I don't blame you one bit. My wife of 50 yrs. Doesn't to that either, and I think your husband is being selfish for continuing to talk about it.
You might try using your mouth on him, and stopping before he climaxes. It's something he has to get over! I would hold my ground.

Your husband is pretty darn lucky, and you should tell him so.

We've been married nearly 12 years, have ONE small child, and he's lucky lately if he gets sex twice a MONTH---I'm too darned tired!

And you should NEVER feel compelled to do something you are not comfortable doing in the bedroom.

Tell your husband to back off on the oral sex and be grateful for what he has.

Exploring and experimenting with a partner of so long is pretty normal really, but its you that has to decide what you are comfortable with. Just me, I try anything my partner ask for. And some things she does't hehehehe!

May I ask why you are uncomfortable with performing oral sex?

What does "having oral sex is completely normal and not having it too ..." mean?

I would think after 13 years , he would know you do not do oral sex. More common are women who do it often when first with partner because he expects it, then stops and the man does not understand.

But this does not sound like the case. Is oral sex common, yes very, I do not know a percentage but I would say most couples do it some. Many couples do it all the time, even as part of foreplay.

Many men will do it to their wive to allow her to climax before actual intercourse starts, and doing it mutually to each other is very common.

A mixture of positions and methods is what keeps sex from getting old. If a couple just does one position all the time, about the same time each week and always in the bedroom, it will just get old.

I often suggest role playing, getting rid of kids for a night and finding out what sex in other rooms is like. Taking showers together and more.

It sounds like the two nights a week is sounding more like a chore than an enjoyment, and if that is how you feel, maybe he knows it.

I know some couples who compromise and do different positions maybe once or twice a month.