Okay. My husband and his ex, whom broke up before she found out she was pregnant due to her suddenly moving in with another man, are going through a custody battle. She agreed to split joint physical and legal custody, which we have messages proving, but magically the day before mediation she changed her mind. They are now going to court over custody because she only wants him to be an every other weekend dad, where as he would actually have the better home and stable life for the child. Here is the story of the mother. Her nurse is our neighboor, whom informed us she tested positive for meth while she was 8 months pregnant, we have the medical records as well as she is going to be ordered to take a drug test. She also pops pills as we speak, is very bi polar and manic depressive, which we are going to order her to be seen by a court appointed psychologist. Every time we pick the child up, which is every single Thursday through Saturday and then some if she does not feel up to caring for him, he smells like cigarettes and is very dirty ( old green milk in the crevaces of his neck, greasy, flaky hair, and rashes) all of these problems disappear within 2 days of him being in our home, aka we give him baths every day. We have photo documention of this as well. The mother has moved the child 3 times since he was born. Once from his grandfathers, once from a home she was evicted from after the first month, and now into her sisters home where there are 5 children and 3 adults in a tiny 3 bedroom home. She has his child around her mother, who has many felony drug charges, plus her and her mother were just arrested 2 weekends ago, her mother for possession of meth and herself a warrant for possession of pills when she was pregnant. She refused to tell us her current address, her sisters home, so I did some spy work and found it. We needed to serve her but could not find her. She went psycho when she found out we knew,the address and threatened to take off to Tennessee and never come back, so we had her served the following day, 2/5/13. She then went even more psycho and told my husband she could not see his son at all until the court hearing for temporary custody. We have everything she has said in Facebook and text messages. We even have text messages of her asking me to pick him up because she was having a nervous breakdown and her other 2 children are dangerous to the baby. ALL I WANT TO KNOW ARE WHAT ARE HIS CHANCES OF GETTING CUSTODY OF HIS SON?? He loves him to death and will do anything for him , but the mother tells him he is just a sperm donor and cannot love him like she does. Also, he did not know he was the father until the child was a month and a half old, because the other man she was with was claiming the baby so my husband was waiting for his DNA test to come back before we paid 300 dollars for one.

Honestly we can't tell you what the outcome will be. But it sounds like you have a lot of evidence against her. How did you get her medical records ? And how do you know positive other then rumor what else is going on ?

If you can prove that the mother is a danger to his son, then you stand a good chance of custody.

But I will point out something. Apparently he was fine with joint custody, until she tried to limit him. A court is going to look at that and wonder, if she was such a terrible mother why was he willing for joint custody.

Remember also, that YOU have no part in this. You can support your husband, but you are an outsider to the process. It is between him and his ex.

I know I have no part in this, I am just trying to get opinions to show my husband that YES he does have a chance. A lot of people, mostly women, tell him he has no chance what so ever.
And as for the visitation thing, my husband typed up a very specific parenting plan, and gave it to her to go over so she could pick out what she did not like. In short terms it said my husband will have the child every Thursday night through Sunday night, pay 450 dollars in child support, which is how much she would get for the every other weekend thing, and provide all of the child's medical care. The only things she claimed she did not like were the mandatory drug tests of both parties, and that her and my husband would do odd and even years on claiming the child on their taxes. Other than that she flatout agreed with it.
My husband flatout told her this is what we agree on, this is how it will be, if you do not agree please tell me and we will go to court. She said she agreed so he did not file any paperwork or retain an attorney. She knew there was a very good chance of him filing for full custody, he was willing to work with her so that she could get help with her drugs, with getting a job, and so she could try and get a stable home.
All my husband wants is for his son to have a stable living environment with all of the love and attention he deserves, which his mother has clearly told us he does not receive with her.
She all of the sudden changed her mind 2 weeks later the night before mediation, so my husband immediately hired an attorney and got the process started. He has taken his time to see if maybe she will change her mind, but she keeps trying to make his visitation smaller and smaller. We have messages of her saying all she cares about is the CHILDSUPPORT. We buy her things when she asks, I spent a lot of my student loan money on her, but we refuse to fully furnish her home. She hardly ever asks for anything, but has the nerve to text ME and gripe because we have not bought the baby clothes. I told her she has to ask to receive, I am not a mind reader I do not know what she needs at her home.
She does not support the child herself, all of her family pays for them. She has not had a job since she got pregnant with her first child 7 years ago.
Like I said, and my husband has told his attorney, all he wants is for his child to be safe, in a stable home, receiving all of the attention that he deserves on a daily basis. Not being around a bunch of cigarrette smoke, drugs, and never being able to live in the same home for more than a month, is definitely not stable.

As for the medical records, the lawyer has them. And we have an eye witness as well

Also, he was willing for joint custody because in the parenting plan it had specific things she had to do aka counseling or rehab, drug and alcohol testing, and have a stable home with a furnished room for the child before the parenting plan would go into effect.

I wasn't asking who has them. I had asked how you got them. Is your eye witness willing to testify in court on your behalf? They will not be able to use hearsay.

Yes she is willing to testify, the lawyer got them somehow. The neighboor was her prenatal nurse, so its not really a rumor.

I doubt the neighbor will be allowed to testify at this point and Im not sure about the medical records either as it depends on how they got them.

You need to be very careful as good intentions can backfire rapidly. As solid as your case may sound it also sounds like it can fall apart in a heartbeat.

Unless the neighbor wants to be unemployed for the rest of her life her "testimony" is, at best, risky due to HIPAA.

No one can guarantee any outcome. The very best your husband can do is go to Court, file the necessary papers, allow the Court to interview and evaluate all the parties and hope for the best.

I've seen "sure fire" cases turn out to be winners and the other way around.

I'm an investigator in NY - I work a fair number of cases involving children and parents alleged to be unfit. Have you considered that avenue?

She is not one testifying, it is one of the mothers family members actually.

Ok that helps with the question of why he was willing to go joint. As noted, there is no way to guarantee an outcome. But if he has an attorney hopefully the attorney knows what he's doing and has obtained the evidence properly.