My husband and I have been married for 3 years with 2 kids together one is 1 year and the other is 1 month and 2 weeks. My husband is a nice person. He takes care of me and the kids but he has anger problem. He gets upset about every little thing has hit me several times even before we got married. Each time apologizes and says it will never happen again.

When I was 5 month pregnant with my first he choked me and pushed me into the bath tub, and when I was 7 month pregnant with my second he choked me in the bath room. Last night around 11:40 he came to me and said he wants to talk with me and I told I'm tired that I want to go sleep. So got mad and he started cussing me out so I went to his parent room because his parent stay with us. So I told them to come and talk to him. They tried to talk but he didn't listen instead he followed me into the bathroom and choked and punched me into the bathtub again. A few minute later he started apologizing. I really want my marriage to work because I love him.

What country are you in?

There is so much wrong with this that I don't even know where to start.
You start by saying what a nice guy he is. He's a nice guy? A guy that punches and chokes a woman... a pregnant woman... this is a nice guy? He's a living piece of trash.
You want your marriage to work out because you love him so much... how could you possibly love someone like this? He has no respect for you, he doesn't care about you.

My sister was in an abusive marriage and almost got killed. She also made excuses for him and he always said how sorry he was and he would never do it again... until the next time he did it. Finally, after years and after he nearly killed her, she finally got away from him.

Why are you still with him?
And you know what? Where were his parents? You said they live there... so they think it's OK that he does this to you? This turd should be in jail.

But I know how this is going to turn out... I do. You will have my answer and many others telling you to leave him and you won't. You'll keep making excuses and all about how wonderful he is except for when you make him angry... that's the best part is that he's got you thinking that it's your fault and that somehow makes it OK that he does this to you. It is never OK... but you will keep putting up with it and your kids will see it and learn from this. If you have a boy he will see that it is OK to treat women this way. If you have a girl, she will see that it's perfectly acceptable to let a man abuse you.

What a mess. Threads like this just piss me off.

Im in us but I'm not from here I don't have any blood family here I feel so alone. His family are nice to me they have talk to him so many times but he won't change.

You should call the police and have him arrested. This is not acceptable behavior to treat a woman like this... to treat anyone like this.

His behavior will continue as long as you allow it to continue. He's a nice guy? What does someone have to do to you before he's not a nice guy?

The brutal fact is that if he continues to choke you eventually he will succeed and kill you and your children will grow up without a mother, under his control. Maybe when he kills you he'll go to jail and your children will be orphans in foster care. Maybe the same people who raised your husband and put up with his anger issues will raise your children and they will grow up with anger issues.

You don't need family here - you need to call the Police and find a shelter or friend to take you and the children in.

And you need to stop making excuses for him.

You "love him" is not an excuse. What do you love about him? He buys you things and doesn't try to kill you on a daily basis? If he chokes you when you're pregnant and that unborn baby is somehow harmed he can - and very possibly will - be criminally charged. The laws are changing in that regard.

I'm not the least bit surprised you put up with his behavior in the name of love. I'm shocked that you allow his behavior when you have children!

Didn't want to go back and edit - here's a news article that might be of interest to the OP. "He" choked "his" wife more than once, punched and slapped her. When that didn't get her attention - apparently - he decapitated her.

She loved him, too. That's why she agreed to meet with him after they separated.

Her children were outside in the car while "he" was decapitating their mother.

Decapitation murder trial underway in Buffalo, NY courtroom

You know I may be hated for what I am going to say, I don't feel sorry for you at all,

I may have felt sorry when he hit you the first time, even the second, but after that you know he will hit you again, he then coked you, but you are stupid enough to stay,

Sorry he will keep doing it, he is not a nice person, he is not treating you well.
You should get out, but you most likely won't.
And to be honest I have no idea why you are posting, guess you just want people to feel sorry for you, well get over it, I don't.

You have no respect for yourself, no love for the kids who may see it, or it may happen to them next. You either leave or get used to it.

Before you had children you had the right to choose to tolerate being abused. Now you have children and you have responsibilities that go way beyond you and way beyond this man you are married to. You owe it to them to live. You owe it to them to give them a safe place to grow up, where people aren't being threatened, chokedn and thrown violently into bathtubs.

He isn't nice - he's raging, selfish, immature and out of control. He has no respect for himself, his parents, his wife or his children. A man who's wife had a baby within the last two months - when he's nice, he nurtures and supports and helps his wife during this time. A normal man, not even an unusually nice man, just a normal guy, is very protective of her when she's a new mother, with a tiny baby. How you come up with the word "nice" for a man who is not even shamed to shove his wife, who's just given birth, into a bathtub after choking her - not even shamed to do this in from of his children and parents - he has no shame. He has no values at all.

You don't have to have family to solve this problem. You go to a police department or you call them on the phone. You tell them you are in danger, you need shelter. You press charges. They help you find a battered women's shelter and you go there with your children. You don't worry about what will happen next - trained, caring people will help you figure that all out when you get there, in time. They will help you figure out your financial situation and everything else.

You do not have the right, as a mother, moral or otherwise, to choose to be with a "nice" person who beats you. Your moral responsibility is to be strong, and to give up whatever you like about this marriage because it is damaging and dangerous to your kids. That's your job.

Why are people so hard on you? Because we've heard this story before. We've known women who were abused and made excuses - he's under stress, he's usually nice, he's so sorry... and they give the man all these chances, never considering that every chance they give their abusive man is a chance they have taken away from their children.

Call the police and get out. That's it. No other right answer. It's not easy but it's not complicqted either - someone hits you, pushes you chokes you - they are dangerous and you leave them with the safey and help of the police.

Most on the board know I was a police officer ( OK most years not a street officer) but I was a street officer for a few years.

I would go to the peoples home, and hubby hitting wife around, I would start to arrest hubby, wife would jump on me for hurting him.

Other case, I would arrest hubby, wife signs a complaint, next day she is there spending the food money or rent money to bail him out of jail because he loved her and was sorry. She would not show up in court to testify.
Guess what in a month or two I was back at their home, and we did it all over again. I had to risk my life because she would not have enough respect of herself to get out.

** OK equal time, sometimes it was the wife beating the husband, but normally it is hubby beating wife.

As officers we get so tired of it, that most US states have passed new laws, that we do not even need wife to testify now to convict, Also if officer goes to the home and sees evidence of attack, he is required to arrest or he could be personally liable if more harm is done that night and he did not arrest.

Thanks to every one I will sure work on that because I don't want mIy growing to see all that is happening and I want to stay alive to take of my kids.

How are you going to work on this?

I have said this before and will keep saying this as if it helps one woman keep her children and get out, maybe I will do some good.

I was married to an abusive man. He was charged with abuse, unlawful confinement, uttering death threats, breaking restraining orders and that is only the ones I reported. I fell for the I am sorry and it was my fault I made him do it. It was my fault for looking out the car windows when men walked by as I was signalling to them a phone number to contact me at, it was my fault if supper was not ready, it was my fault if I was too tired to have sex, it was my fault if a toy was left on the floor, it was my fault I was ugly, it was my fault I was lazy, it was my fault it was my fault it was my fault... do you see a pattern?

END RESULT: I was stupid; I risked my children. I risked my life with them. You see I lost custody of them. In most areas being in an abusive marriage is grounds to lose your kids as they are being harmed emotionally. I was so emotionally messed up I had a breakdown.
Steps if you want to stay alive and keep your children are:
1. Get legal documents and clothes packed. Passports, birth certificates, marriage license
2. Call the police if he is abusing you
3. Call a local battered women's shelter to get out
4. Get counseling
5. Get legal custody of your children.

Please don't ruin your life like I did. The guilt will tear you up inside, believe me. GET OUT.

Please tell us what, specifically, you are going to do to solve the problem. I think we all agree there's only one reasonable course of action that a responsible parent would do in this situation which involves filing charges for the abuse that has happened so far and obtaining a restraining order, moving to a battered woman's shelter with the kids, obtaining a divorce and securing custody of the kids. Staying with the man and working on the marriage are not options unless you are making a decision to raise your children in an abusive environment.

You cannot drop any charges - file them, stick with them, show up and testify. Follow through.

If you cannot pack without his parents ratting you out to him, just leave with the kids and arrange for the police to come back with you to get your stuff later. They will stand by to make sure there's no violence and that you're permitted to leave.

Please write exactly what you're going to do back to us so we know that you're following through.

Fr, priest, I am part of a religious order where all members are required to work and do regular jobs in the real world.
I was a Federal Agent for many years, a City Marshall for a couple, and a officer within the city of Atlanta for a few more years till I retired. I am also a Martial Arts Instructor, and currently a Professor at a Law School.
Still do mass every morning.

But honestly too many people hold their hands and pat it and say POOR YOU< and nothing happens, on the street it is hard love, give them a wake up call, take them to see a women dead in the morgue from her husband beating her, let he got o a women's shelter and see the broken arms, the bruise eyes.

Almost 99 percent of the spouse abuse cases, that I did, the women will not show up to testify or will change the story to act like they were just playing.
Ask any police officer and they get sick and tired of the domestic calls and if you go to an address once, you will find normally 10 to 15 calls at the same address with the same people over many years. That is why many officers today are just arresting both people, and let the court sort it out, I don't believe in it but that is what is happening.

A women can go, unless she is chained to the wall, they go to shelters, with friends, sleep in the car, but they go.