Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 month :); and he is in the marines--stationed at Camp Pendleton. I live in Irvine so we see each other on the wknd. Either just Fri. or he stays over till Sat. evening. I had a friend tell me that it makes me look desperate when I send him "G'morning" or "Thinking of you texts" and it really struck a chord with me. I addressed it w/ my boyfriend and he says if anything the texts brighten his day. I think every relationship is different, but I don't know what to do. What is wrong w/ being eager to see your boyfriend? I would think that he wants to see me too. He was the first to say "I love you," and I did say it back--and meant it. He treats me well when we are together and I love the feeling of being with him. Today I texted him 2x and left him a skype message. (can't wait to be in your arms); but it was just to say have a good day & that I planned an awesome date for us Fri. Am I overthinking things? I want to give him space tomorrow, and don't know if it's cool to just say on Friday, "See you tonight". I personally think there is nothing wrong w/ it, but if he says it's going to take a lot to chase him away, should I just listen to him and ignore these damn websites and friends?

If he says it's okay, why do you care what someone else thinks?

Hi Wondergirl,

You're right, and I shouldn't. I do feel bad for bugging him this week. We had a possible get together because I was in his area on Monday, but it didn't work out. I did text him that day to say that our song was playing and a couple times because I got LOST :*(. I kept calling my cousin whom I was visiting (I wanted to explore Oceanside whilst she was working). At first I just said I am lost but I'll call my sister (bc he didn't pick up); but then I called my mom, no answer and same for both my sisters, one of my sister's boyfriends, and my cousin. So I told him no one was picking up and he called me that instant. I do love him. So I should just ignore all the stupid I read and just go by what he tells me and focus on how happy I am when we are together. I totally have my own life, but unfortunately because most of my friends have full time jobs and schools and/or moved away I don't see them as often as I want to. Anyway, Wondergirl, thank you!

I think you need to do what works for you and your boyfriend and stop listening to your friends. Stop asking and telling them things regarding your relationship.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I think you need to do what works for you and your boyfriend and stop listening to your friends. Stop asking and telling them things regarding your relationship.

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Thanks, HomeGirl50, you are right. I just don't want him to feel like I disrespect the fact that he is working and could possibly be in trouble for being on the phone. I don't want that to affect his feelings towards me and whether he comes over Friday. I text my friends, and I show people I care about them through baking/cooking them something, letters, it's just how I am. The only difference w/ my boyfriend is the attraction factor and all that fun stuff.

Texting can be read at any time. If he is busy, he will ignore it.

If he is not complaining, don't worry about it.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If he is not complaining, don't worry about it.

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Well I won't know if he's complaining till Fri. when I just send him a text to say Can't wait to see you today. That's it. Tomorrow I am just not going to pick up the freaking phone. I just really hope he is still coming over. I planned stuff out and wanted to make him a home cooked meal--he doesn't get that often--I just want him to feel appreciated for what he does, because he works really hard.

And if he can't come over for some reason, then what will you think?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And if he can't come over for some reason, then what will you think?

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Well that he is busy and that sucks.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If he says it's okay, why do you care what someone else thinks?

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I think I have just bee letting people get to me. I talked to my best friend today and there's a huge difference by the way what I did and nagging. I only ever send him loving messages to tell him I appreciate him. And the minute he sees me each week that's the first thing he thanks me for and always apologizes because he gets so tired that he falls asleep. I hope he can come Friday, but if not I will have to talk to him via phone. I planned a great date.

Is this your first boyfriend or something? You seem to be worrying about way too much. You've only been dating a month. Relax. Take it a day at a time. Leave your friends out of it.

If you are texting 20 times a day, it would be too much perhaps, unless he likes to text back and forth.

A text every morning and one every night is just nice and sweet, nothing wrong with it.

Who ever told you it was wrong is just silly, and most likely single.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

If you are texting 20 times a day, it would be too much perhaps, unless he likes to text back and forth.

A text every morning and one every night is just nice and sweet, nothing wrong with it.

Who ever told you it was wrong is just silly, and most likely single.

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Well like I said it was a little more Monday because I was lost and needed help--I almost just went into a mall to ask for directions. I have never texted him anything to ask him to call me right now, why aren't you talking to me, did you get my text, etc. I have maybe texted 4 times at most, and sometimes that is back and forth, but in the past 3 weeks he just seems unavailable and too tired to talk. I know he is a marine and time does not belong to him, nor me, so I have to learn to respect or move on. And yes, the person who was getting on my case, he is 24 and single.. . But he was telling me that "from his experience". Not once have I told Chris, "I expect you to text me . . ." Or "You need to call me. . ." I would not impose upon him like that. I left him a message. On Skype to let him know I will respect that he is at work, and if he possibly sees it, I had a question for him, but it's nothing important. And this morning I just skyped him a message. To ignore my drunken text fr. Last night (again even when tipsy, nothing bad). But, like I said I don't want to blow up his phone, and I feel like I am overanalyzing it to death just because I am worried about my own self. I put out positive energy because that's how I am. I am not going to apologize for it. If I want to bake for my boyfriend, or write him a note, and even tomorrow quickly text him "I'll see you tonight, can't wait," then shiz, there's nothing wrong w/ that. I have had 1 other serious boyfriend in the past, but I can tell my feelings are different this time, because I can't really picture not being w/ Chris right now, and that's all that matters. Hopefully tomorrow night I am w/ him and I can just relax and enjoy the date I planned. Thanks, Chuck. AND No, he doesn't text back and forth, unless he's updating me on where he is on the way to my house.

You sound somewhat obsessive - is this your first boyfriend?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You sound somewhat obsessive - is this your first boyfriend?

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No, but first boyfriend whose probably one of the ones I care about. I just have not been in the best place, and he's coming into my life when things are a bit upside down. I do my best to find work and help out my parents, I just have a lot going on, and I don't want to depend on anyone. Today except for checking emails for work, I have just turned all forms of communication off.

I understand the pressures you are under but he's been your boyfriend for only 1 month, you see each other (if I'm reading this correctly) one overnight visit a week. He's in the military, far from home. Where did you meet him? How much do you know about him?

Are you sure he is who/what he says he is?

On one hand friends should care about you and whether you are going to be hurt; on the other hand perhaps they are jealous.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I understand the pressures you are under but he's been your boyfriend for only 1 month, you see each other (if I'm reading this correctly) one overnight visit a week. He's in the military, far from home. Where did you meet him? How much do you know about him?

Are you sure he is who/what he says he is?

On one hand friends should care about you and whether or not you are going to be hurt; on the other hand perhaps they are jealous.

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Well I met him online. I know a lot about him actually, we're very good at sharing stories and all that fun stuff. And my friends are always very protective about me. I just feel like sometimes there is too much going on around me. My grandma is sick, I can't find a job, so my dad is always yelling at me about it, and I try to just stay positive, but those days I would love to just have five minutes. To talk to him, and when I can't I end up texting him once or twice. I have never nagged him about calling me back, and there was once or twice I asked if he was free to talk because he told me that week to text him when I wanted to talk. So yeah, I am just sick of people telling me what to do. My friends mean well, but they're prying into something that isn't their business.

When You discuss your relationship with your friends yo are opening the door for them to meddle.
Just relax and enjoy the relationship. Take one day at a time, do read too much in to anything.

It sounds like the problem isn't whether you are overthinking. You've decided that you aren't. Your problem is your friends - if you want them to butt out, tell them that.