Ask Me Help Desk - Virgin in distress!

Hi! I'm in a very confusing situation at the moment. It all started during my second semester of college when a close friend and I started getting closer physically, at first it was weird (I've never hooked up with anyone but my serious ex-boyfriend) and we promised ourselves it would never happen again. Well soon enough, every time we hung out, we always ended up hooking up, the bad thing is he currently has a girlfriend (long distance relationship by the way) and I know that is wrong. Honestly, I've always been a really good girl and I was raised with good morals, I'm a virgin and hope to stay that way until marriage but I've been going so far with this guy that I'm freaking out, I do not want to get pregnant, so I'm trying to avoid sex at all costs! The bad thing about it is that I really think I'm falling for this guy and he just seems to see me as "homegirl", its so depressing especially because of his comments after I refuse to have sex. Comments such as "ah another wasted condom" or "its not that big of a deal" I mean to him is not a big deal but for me, it's a huge deal! I don't know what to do! Should I just stop seeing him completely? Every time I tried talking to him about it, he ignores me (its sad because we used to be such a good friends! I even considered him my best "guy" friend) I need to make a drastic change soon before I do something I might regret later, please help!

WELL, let me point this out to you.. If a man only wants you for sex then he is not any sort of man you want to be with... Does he not want or respect you for who you are?. why would or should you change your morals (which by the way are excellent)... You are in college and yes a baby at this point you do not need. Stick to your values hun.
now here's what you tell that supposed man actually lets say child.
I am a lady that will make a real man a proud wife someday and your right you have wasted your money because my first time will be with my husband.
IF YOU GIVE THIS MAN WHAT HE WANTS TRUST ME HE STILL WON'T STICK AROUND LONG.. HUN HE IS A PLAYER, AND A JERK

I agree with tinsign,

If a man only wants you for sex then he is not any sort of man that you want to be with.

He is supposed to be connected to somebody else. So say if you become his girl what stops him from seeing other people at the same time.

Yes, he is a player and a jerk and even though you find yourself attracted to him if you continue down this road there is nothing but heartache for you. You do not want that for yourself and anybody here that sees your question does not want to see you get hurt.

So the only way not to get hurt is stop contact. No more contact end the physical play because it will only make your life diffulcult. Especially considering you want to save yourself for somebody that is ONLY COMMITTED TO YOU AND NO ONE ELSE. FOR SOMEBODY THAT WANTS TO BE WITH YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, NOT FOR THE SEX.

BEST OF LUCK WITH EVERYTHING.

JOE

I absolutely see what you guys are saying and I just want to say thank you! I think I've known that he's a jerk all along, I guess I just refused to accept it and I just had to hear it from someone else, I will stop contact with this man because I honestly think I deserve better, thanks again!

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonserratO

Hi! I'm in a very confusing situation at the moment. It all started during my second semester of college when a close friend and I started getting closer physically, at first it was weird (i've never hooked up with anyone but my serious ex-boyfriend) and we promised ourselves it would never happen again. Well soon enough, everytime we hung out, we always ended up hooking up, the bad thing is he currently has a girlfriend (long distance relationship by the way) and i know that is wrong. Honestly, i've always been a really good girl and i was raised with good morals, i'm a virgin and hope to stay that way until marriage but i've been going so far with this guy that i'm freaking out, i do not want to get pregnant, so i'm trying to avoid sex at all costs!! the bad thing about it is that i really think i'm falling for this guy and he just seems to see me as "homegirl", its so depressing especially b/c of his comments after i refuse to have sex. Comments such as "ah another wasted condom" or "its not that big of a deal" i mean to him is not a big deal but for me, its a huge deal! idk what to do! should i just stop seeing him completely?! everytime i tried talking to him about it, he ignores me (its sad b/c we used to be such a good friends! i even considered him my best "guy" friend) i need to make a drastic change soon before i do something i might regret later, please help!

Goo to see that you realize he's not worth it. So many girls have such a hard time realizing this, and seem to theink that they themselves ar the ones not worth it. Cut ties with this guy and find someone who repects your views on pre-marital sex and loves you for you!