Hi everyone! I recently started dating a great guy (5 months ago). He is 36 and I'm 28. He had a daughter and got married very young (18 years old), he ended up raising his daughter by himself from the time she was about 4 years old. His daughter is now 18 years old. I've met her briefly 3 or 4 times. My question is: how do I get to know her and get along with her without seeming like I'm trying to be her mother OR her friend? I'd like to have a good relationship with her, as her dad and her are very close. I love that he is such a good father and really respect him for that, so I'd really like to get to know his daughter. Any tips?

You're only 5 months in the relationship and as she is 18, this all depends on her. Invite her out for a meal or something and see how it goes. Have you told him that you want to know his daughter better? What does he say?
This is a young relationship, I say work on that. The friendship with the daughter may come eventually

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You're only 5 months in the relationship and as she is 18, this all depends on her. Invite her out for a meal or something and see how it goes. Have you told him that you want to know his daughter better? What does he say?
This is a young relationship, I say work on that. The friendship with the daughter may come eventually

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Thank you, that seems very reasonable - I know it's a new relationship, but as his daughter lives with him, and they are very close, I feel like I should make a good effort to get to know her. She has suggested that the three of us go for dinner, and I told him I would really like that. I find I get really nervous around her though; even though he tells me to just be myself, I get nervous and almost shy... I've never been in a situation like this before!

Then do it on her terms. Go out, the three of you. If she wants a one one with you she will let you know. Probably when you are together longer the both of you will be more comfortable.

You try by not trying, just be yourself, talk and leave it at that, don't give advice, don't try to act like a mother, be there but don't try to push for a relatonship

If you are nervous and shy, that is a lot more endearing (in my mind) that overdoing it and trying too hard. You could even say so. I think you will be fine. You could mainly just listen and answer questions, and volunteer a bit about yourself once in a while, and not ask too much about her.

You sound like a very understanding woman. The fact that she wants to have dinner is a heck of a lot more than a lot of teens want when their dads find someone new. Many are spitting nails before they even meet.