OK, my very specific question. I am a single father of my 11 year old son. His mother and I divorced when my son was about 6 months. Because I was more capable of financially supporting my son I went only for the state min for child support of $100 (which she has never paid). Because the divorce was drug based (on her side) she was granted supervised visitation. Over the course of the past 11 years, she has only seen him once when he was 4 and a half. She has never paid child support, never sent gifts at xmas time or bdays, and no calls... ever. She has done absolutely nothing for this little boy.
I am now remarried and my current wife wishes to adopt him.

Question #1. Do I have the legal ability to have her parental rights removed?

Question#2 If so, can you point me in the right direction to finding the needed documents to file with the court. And how should I file if not abandonment?

Question#3 Can she now... after about 7 years of no contact, change her mind and decide "ooh now I wanna be a mommy" and how will that impact the courts ruling?

What you can do is along with your wife (if married for over 1 years time) apply for a step parent adoption. If the adoption goes through then she will be stripped of her legal rights to her son. If she rises up and challenges the adoption it is hard to say what the courts may rule. But in your favor is the fact that she isn't supporting the child on an emotional nor financial manner.

Also child support lasts forever. It doesn't go away and can not be forgiven by a court. Only the person that is owed the debt can relieve it. Please use a lawyer in your area to take you through this process. There are too many pitfalls that can trap you if you don't do everything correctly. You don't want this overturned years down the road.