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-   -   My boyfriend admitted that he faked an orgasm before. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=728322)

  • Jan 16, 2013, 04:52 AM
    snwbunny
    My boyfriend admitted that he faked an orgasm before.
    My boyfriend and I were joking around and I asked "have you ever faked it?" He looks at me and says yes! I'm pissed, I couldn't even look at him. I asked him to leave my house. He says he was tired and had already came 2 times. But why not just stop? He stopped before.. help.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 04:57 AM
    joypulv
    You threw him out over THIS?
    Poor guy. After all that attempt to please YOU. At least I assume that is why he didn't stop.. . he isn't here to ask. It's your job to ask.
    The 2 of you need to talk about this. RIGHT?
  • Jan 16, 2013, 05:20 AM
    snwbunny
    I thought we were doing OK. And to hear something like that kind of makes me feel inadequate and id rather him leave versus me ignoring or acting funny around him.
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    You threw him out over THIS?
    Poor guy. After all that attempt to please YOU. At least I assume that is why he didn't stop.. ... he isn't here to ask. It's your job to ask.
    The 2 of you need to talk about this. RIGHT?

  • Jan 16, 2013, 05:26 AM
    J_9
    That is not a question you should ever ask. Since you did ask, you should have been prepare to hear the truth. You threw him out because he told you the truth.

    You owe him a serious apology.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 05:31 AM
    snwbunny
    I owe him? I didn't throw him out... I simply said its think you should go. I wasn't asking in reference to us we saw something on T.V and it came up. But its out and I know.. how doe's someone deal with something like this?
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    That is not a question you should ever ask. Since you did ask, you should have been prepare to hear the truth. You threw him out because he told you the truth.

    You owe him a serious apology.

  • Jan 16, 2013, 05:41 AM
    ScottGem
    Ok, which would you prefer, that he just stops, making you feel inadequate that you weren't satisfying him and/or leaving you hanging, or that he fakes it making you feel better.

    Seriously girl, you need to get your priorities straight. This is a NON ISSUE. And yes you do owe him an apology for asking him to leave as well as getting into a huff about it.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 05:45 AM
    Oliver2011
    You asked and you got the truth.

    You threw him out - are you prepared that he may never come back?

    Overreact sometimes do you?

    And I faked it before. I got tired and needed sleep.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 06:55 AM
    backpack2389
    I agree with everyone else. He was just too tired to keep going but he didn't want to make you feel inadequate so he faked it. Sounds like a good boyfriend to me.

    I feel bad for him. Saying "I think you had better leave" is kicking him out. You kicked him out for doing something solely to make you happy and for being honest.

    I think you need to apologize and tell him that you completely overreacted. And if I were you, I wouldn't be surprised if he lies to you from here on out when you ask similar questions - because your reaction has taught him he can't be honest with you.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 09:02 AM
    CravenMorhead
    How old are you two?

    Have you ever faked an orgasm?

    He came twice. Three times in a night tests most men's endurance. As well when he can't orgasm, chances are it isn't you. The sensation isn't right or something like that. Him being tired is probably why he couldn't orgasm. Think about the hit to his ego saying that he faked. That he couldn't orgasm.

    You asked, he answered. You told him he should go. I would be surprised if he came back. You really owe him an apology.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 10:36 AM
    JudyKayTee
    I think this falls into the general category of "I need a reason to end this relationship."
  • Jan 16, 2013, 10:45 AM
    joypulv
    Somehow it reminds me of the vet I saw on TV who said a woman brought her dog in to be put to sleep because she redecorated and the dog didn't match.
    SAD
  • Jan 16, 2013, 12:30 PM
    JudyKayTee
    So the boyfriend doesn't match the upholstery?
  • Jan 16, 2013, 12:42 PM
    odinn7
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by snwbunny View Post
    i owe him? I didnt throw him out...i simply said its think you should go. I wasn't asking in reference to us we saw something on T.V and it came up. But its out and i know.. how doe's someone deal with something like this?

    I'm not sure how he will deal with it. If it was me, I would simply not come back.

    I can't seriously believe that this upset you so much that you got pissed and made him leave. Are you some sort of drama queen? It really sounds like you are. Like you feel that he slighted you by faking it and nobody slights you so you showed him who the boss is.

    I don't know the guy but I feel sorry for him. I really hope for his sake that he takes some time to think about this and decides that you are not worth his trouble.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 12:53 PM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by snwbunny View Post
    i owe him? I didnt throw him out...i simply said its think you should go. I wasn't asking in reference to us we saw something on T.V and it came up. But its out and i know.. how doe's someone deal with something like this?

    This the following advice is given with hope that he is still talking to you:

    That is 'throwing him out'. Instead of talking to him, you got upset and sent him packing even if you did it in a nice way.

    Yes, you owe him an apology. However the subject came up, the question was asked and he answered. You over reacted. On top of that, you just told him it isn't safe to give you any answer you may not like. It's safer to lie than be honest. Is that what you want him to think?

    How have you reacted in the past when he stopped? I will almost bet how you think you reacted is different from how he perceived your reaction.

    Your ego is blinding you to the two times that night and all the other times he didn't 'fake'. Why are you so concerned with one time?

    Apologize for over reacting, put it behind you and move forward with an understanding that neither of you will 'fake' another orgasm.

    If you can't move forward from this, then let him go. He shouldn't have to bear the burden of your insecurity.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 01:09 PM
    snwbunny
    I've slept on it and I have apologized. I did overreact, I just couldn't see it at first. He was afraid of losing me after he left and all the while I just needed time to get my head on straight . Im 24 and he's 26 .thanks for all the advice I appreciate it
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    This the following advice is given with hope that he is still talking to you:

    That is 'throwing him out'. Instead of talking to him, you got upset and sent him packing even if you did it in a nice way.

    Yes, you owe him an apology. However the subject came up, the question was asked and he answered. You over reacted. On top of that, you just told him it isn't safe to give you any answer you may not like. It's safer to lie than be honest. Is that what you want him to think?

    How have you reacted in the past when he stopped? I will almost bet how you think you reacted is different from how he perceived your reaction.

    Your ego is blinding you to the two times that night and all the other times he didn't 'fake'. Why are you so concerned with one time?

    Apologize for over reacting, put it behind you and move forward with an understanding that neither of you will 'fake' another orgasm.

    If you can't move forward from this, then let him go. He shouldn't have to bear the burden of your insecurity.

  • Jan 16, 2013, 01:48 PM
    joypulv
    I'm impressed - apologizing to him, and thanking people here.
    Not many people come back here after being run through the wringer.
  • Jan 16, 2013, 02:00 PM
    snwbunny
    I am still young and learning from mistakes! I appreciate constructive criticism and its easy for others to post opinions solely regarding the subject. I am a bit of a drama queen and very dramatic I'm learning how to deal:)).
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I'm impressed - apologizing to him, and thanking people here.
    Not many people come back here after being run through the wringer.

  • Jan 16, 2013, 02:46 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Wow - classy and sincere!

    Cut and paste this reply because "we're" not ever likely to see/hear anything like this again.

    Amazing!
  • Jan 16, 2013, 02:54 PM
    J_9
    I'm impressed! What a great young woman you are!

    It's not too often people take our advice and come back to thank us!
    Kudos to you Snwbunny!
  • Jan 16, 2013, 02:58 PM
    snwbunny
    :-) trust I will be back for more advice!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I'm impressed! What a great young woman you are!

    It's not too often people take our advice and come back to thank us!
    Kudos to you Snwbunny!


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