Hey,

I'm a healthy twenty five year old male who has recently for the past year and a half been suffering problems with erections when I first meet up with a woman. I've noticed in the past few years my labido has gone done... I starting working out on an ellipitcal about two years ago as I had gained weight... but even with trying to include much more exercise in my daily routine, I've noticed lethargic days come too frequently. I also suffer from anxiety issues and have been a off again and on again depressed throughout much of this time. I recently tried to have a hook up but could not maintain an erection when switching from oral sex into penetration. It has actually happened the last four times I've met new partners... and while I eventually had the chance to get myself up, this time nothing was working and it was incredibly embarrassing. She completely understood but regardless, I'm about ready to make a change in my life cause this was the last straw. I noticed a few years back when I met my girlfriend of two years, I had a similar problem at first... but we were together so much and had many changes to have sex that my anxiousness went down after awhile. The rush of anxiety on top of what I really believe is low testosterone is what's causing me not to be able to maintain erections. I just seem to relax in the heat of the moment, which isn't helping out my depression.

Does this seem like a common situation with low terstosterone? I've noticed in six years I've always started to lose some of my hair at the top and figured this was also a case from my anxiety attacks.

Anyway, yes... I plan on getting help but for me being 25... this is incredibly starting to ruin my life.

Have you talked to a doctor about this issue? That really should be your first step.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Have you talked to a doctor about this issue? That really should be your first step.

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That's my main goal hopefully this week or sometime soon, I really want to meet up with the girl again soon as she told me she completely understood and that it just happens... which I understand and all but I'm tired of having this conversation. I plan on calling the doctor tomorrow to hopefully set up an appointment ASAP.

... I was just wondering if there has been anyone else here who's dealt with similar problems and what eventual steps they took to eliminate it.

You're totally right though, the doctor is step one..

Sadly I can't relate, I'm female, so I definitely haven't had this problem. :)

Just keep in mind, you may get other men coming here to post their experiences, but that's their experience, it has nothing to do with you. Until you know what's causing this, you shouldn't take anyone else's story too serious.

Once you know what's causing this, then you can ask about that specific issue. But right now you'll probably just end up scaring yourself if you read too many different possibilities.

It really sounds like a common case of performance anxiety. Is there a reason you don't wait until you are in a committed relationship to have sex?

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Originally Posted by Alty

Sadly I can't relate, I'm female, so I definitely haven't had this problem. :)

Just keep in mind, you may get other men coming here to post their experiences, but that's their experience, it has nothing to do with you. Until you know what's causing this, you shouldn't take anyone elses story too serious.

Once you know what's causing this, then you can ask about that specific issue. But right now you'll probably just end up scaring yourself if you read too many different possibilities.

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Good points and yes, that's one of the main reasons that I need to go to someone and help with this problem. My anxiety come and go and I think that sometimes I'm just too tightly wound... and therefore in moments that should be incredible for both me and a partner... always end up starting a little rocky. I think after tonight's events (with a girl I've been insanely attracted to and who wanted to hook up incredibly bad) I just know if I don't do something, crap like this could keep happening.

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Originally Posted by J_9

It really sounds like a common case of performance anxiety. Is there a reason you don't wait until you are in a committed relationship to have sex?

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I'm sure that's a huge factor but with the causes of lost testosterone (hair loss, stomach weight gain, mood swings) playing a little bit of a factor... with performance anxiety as well I was wondering if this was a common thing.

I would love to be in a committed relationship but the opportunity has presented itself on a handful of occasions with women I spend time with and I'm sure if I was more relaxed i.e. committed relationshiping with this person it might not be as much of problem... the thing is these girls tend to flake out after a couple hang outs, which is a different problem all together. My relaionship of two years starting with an erection problem the first time but we eventually fixed it after spending a lot of time together and having a lot of alone time...

Medication or depression can destroy a sex drive, one failed performance can cause worry and thus destroy the next performance.

But other health issues, such as high blood pressure, or some medications also can cause issue. Prostate trouble is one of the largest trouble makers for this.

There are just so many dozens of possible issues or reasons, one could just guess.